David Duke, in Blackface, Denied Access to Black Lives Matter Rally

david-duke-2Charlotte, NC – Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke was turned away from a Black Lives Matter rally earlier today when he appeared wearing full blackface makeup. According to sources, the hate group leader was met by attendees as he approached the outer reaches of the protest.

Trump Under FBI Investigation For Threatening Debate Moderators

(Trump vs. FBI)
(Trump vs. FBI)

Donald Trump is under investigation by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) after his campaign sent threatening e-mails to Monday’s debate moderators. This adds another layer to the already highly anticipated presidential debate. The media companies who employ the moderators immediately contacted the FBI after the threatening emails Friday and the Bureau considers it a high priority.

Palin: “We Need To Make Black People More Civil”

Andrew F. Kazmierski / Shutterstock.com
Andrew F. Kazmierski / Shutterstock.com

Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin told local media “we need to make black people more civil. It’s very critical and we need to do this.” She then went on to explain how the Constitution of the United States were written for white Anglo-Saxon people and that African culture “can’t work under these rules.”

Hispanic Man Shot By Moving Police Car For Yelling “Gringo!”

cop-car-speedingNew Mexico – An Albuquerque cop shot a walking civilian from the police vehicle after the cop said the Hispanic man called him a ‘gringo” and felt unsafe. Henrico Fernandez yelled the term at the car while walking home from work. The cop car then did a 90 degree stop and shot Fernandez from 50 feet away. Only 2 bullets struck Fernandez with 10 more missing, with 2 hitting an elementary school.

Chris Christie’s Favorite Chicken Spot Was NYC / NJ Bombers Parent’s Store

chris-chistie-chicken1According to testimonies given a year ago over the “Bridgegate” scandal, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was a frequent customer of First American Fried Chicken. Ahmad Khan Rahami, parents owned the store. Rahami is in custody for two bombs detonated in New York City and New Jersey this past weekend.

Trump Detonates Bomb In New York City To Prove He Can’t Lose Votes

donaldtrump1At the West 23rd St and 6th Ave intersection in New York City, the Trump campaign detonated a small bomb to prove his comments about his ability to kill and not lose any votes. “I told everyone I could shoot someone on 5th Avenue in New York and not lose a vote. And now I proved it.”

Leave Gary Johnson Alone

gary-johnson-2
(I’m Running For President)

It’s weird to hear a politician own up to a gaffe, wrote Matt Welch.

One week later, Politico asserted, with the Trumply sourced “a handful of polls,” each of which was left unsourced but in fact belonged to the disjointed, unreliable Quinnipiac University Polling Institute, that Mister Johnson had encroached upon Hillary Clinton’s lead.

Trump Flip-Flops On Obama’s Birthplace Again: “We’ll never truly know”

Just days after Donald Trump declared Barack Obama was born in the United States, the Republican candidate flip-flopped again on stance telling morning TV shows “We’ll never truly know where Obama was born. He probably doesn’t know. A one-year-old can’t tell the difference between Kenya and Hawaii or wherever.”  

China Ramps Up Fentanyl Production To Destroy America’s Youth

fentanyl-1
(Chinese OC Fakes In the United States)

For revenge of the Opium Wars in China nearly 120 years ago, the country has vowed for revenge. At the time over a quarter of China was addicted to opium and was encouraged y Western profiteers. Now it’s China’s turn by dumping tons of Fentanyl, a synthetic opioid 50 times stronger than heroin, onto America’s streets where low life drug dealers mix it in their product resulting in thousands of accidental overdoses.

Donald Trump Rushed To Hospital After Apparent Stroke

(Trump Tower Emergency)
(Trump Tower Emergency)

Donald Trump was taken to a New York Hospital at 1:25 am Tuesday morning after Melina Trump called 911 for an emergency about her husband. Paramedics left the Trump Tower at 1:47 am and was taken to the hospital.

Hillary Clinton Falls Asleep During the National Anthem

(Tired of Xanax?)
(Tired of Xanax?)

After a fainting spell brought on by pneumonia, Clinton fell asleep during the National Anthem at a Washington National’s game Monday night in DC. She was ordered by doctors to take a few days to recuperate but insisted on attending the baseball game for Bryce Harper Bobblehead night. It was before the game as the National Anthem started that she dozed off.

CM Punk’s Opponent Failed Drug Test Before Fight, Says UFC Officials

cm-punk1After former pro-wrestler turned UFC fighter CM Punk lost to Mickey Gall 2:52 into the first round, it was announced that Gall had failed a drug test earlier in the day. The positive results came in right after the submission ending bout.

Tom Brady To Skip First 4 National Anthems of the Season In Support For Black Lives Matter

tom bady ballsNot only will Tom Brady not take a knee for the first game, he doesn’t plan to show up for the first 4 national anthems. “I am taking a stand by missing the first four national anthems,” said Brady.

Palin: “I’ve shot a bunch of Aleppo’s”

Andrew F. Kazmierski / Shutterstock.com
Andrew F. Kazmierski / Shutterstock.com

“I love Aleppo hunting season,” said Sarah Palin. “They make for great jerky and coats. I even have a pair of Aleppo winter boots.”

WikiLeaks Hacked Donald Trump’s Tax Returns

Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com
Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

The whistleblower website WikiLeaks just released Donald Trumps tax returns from 2008-2015. “It makes the DNC emails look like a cold,” said WikiLeaks leader Julian Assange. “This is like smallpox to a presidential candidate. Worse than small hands.”

Brock Turner Sexualy Assults Woman Who Sent Mail To Him In Jail

(mugshot)
(mugshot)

Brock Turner, a former student and swimmer at Stanford University, was released from a California Jail over the weekend after raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. He served 3 of his 6-month sentence. During the time he received thousands of letters from women. Some were hate mail, but others were love messages.

300 Native Americans Killed In North Dakota After Fighting For Their Land

indiansA Force of Four Thousand Indians in Position Attacked by Less Than Four Hundred Troops–Opinions of Leading Army Officers of the Deed and Its Consequences–Feeling in the Community Over the Disaster.

Voting Booths To Stock ‘Barf Bags’

(Voting booths with 'Barf Bags')
(Voting booths with ‘Barf Bags’)

Premier Election Solutions (Diebold Election Systems Inc.) announced today that all of its new voting machines purchased for the upcoming presidential elections will come equipped with emesis bags. The bags, more commonly known as “barf bags,” will be available for voters in predominantly Republican districts who can’t leave the voting booth without vomiting over their ultimate choice for the highest office in the land.

Child Dies After Parents Bought Fake EpiPen from China To Save Money

(EpiPen)
(EpiPen)

The Thompson family is mourning the loss of their 8-year-old son after a counterfeit EpiPen failed to work during Liam’s allergic reaction at a friends house. His parents always made him carry the EpiPen and his friend’s mother, a former nurse, administered the pen correctly. After she had realized it was not working, the mother drove Liam to the hospital, but he died in route.

Hillary Clinton: “I Have Climacteric Syndrome”

JStone / Shutterstock.com
JStone / Shutterstock.com

After 280 days, the Clinton campaign gave a small press conference where the presidential nominee admitted she suffers from Climacteric Syndrome. “Millions of women are affected by this disease. There is no cure but can be maintained. That;s just a part of life,” Clinton said. “It will in no way affect my job as president.”