Westworld Season 2 Canceled By HBO

westworld canceled by HBO
(Westworld red carpet event)

“Too expensive,” HBO executive Michael Goldwyn told Variety. “We’ll focus on smaller shows.”  

Obama Grants 850 Million Muslim Refugees Citizenship By Executive Order

obama signs refugee bill
Obama signs historic order

“As I come into my final weeks as President, I find there is only so much that I can accomplish,” Obama told media outlets. “In one of my final greatest acts, I have granted eight hundred and fifty million Muslim refugees American citizenship.”   

Hacked Emails Shows Hillary Clinton Pressured Jill Stein For Recount

jill stein and hillary clintonWikiLeaks reported that the Clinton campaign had headed the recount call in Wisconsin, Michigan, and Pennsylvania. The e-mails begin as early as election night with Clinton staffers telling Stein to begin looking into vote counts of those key states that allowed Trump to win the electoral college.

Breaking News: Brian Kelly Out At Notre Dame

brian kelly fired from notre dame
(Notre Dame Coach Brian Kelly)

According to CSNChicago, Notre Dame football coach Brian Kelly, has been fired.

Trump Claims Victory In Castro’s Death: “I Did It!”

“Nobody could kill that guy but I did,” said Trump. “It was the easiest thing ever.”

Trump Suing Media Outlets Over This ‘Double Chin’ Picture

trump hayes this picture
(Trump’s most hated picture)

So far, CNN, MSNBC, and CBS have been sued but now Trump is threatening blogs from the Huffington Post to The Onion.

Wisconsin Trump Voter Shoots Liberal Nephew After Thanksgiving Dinner

wausau trump voter shoots nephew
(Wausau, WI Thanksgiving Shooting)

Wausau, Wisconsin – A Thanksgiving Day dinner turned deadly after a political argument ended with a 23-year-old graduate student being shot in the chest by his 62-year-old uncle.

32% of Americans Think Trump is Already President

trump supportersWhile the Trump presidency doesn’t start until January 21st, a staggering 32% of Americans think he’s already president.

Bears QB Jay Cutler Plays Golf In Los Angeles Day After Tearing Arm Labrum

jay cutler playing golf
(Bears QB Playing Golf In the LA Sunshine)

Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler was seen playing golf in Los Angeles the day after team doctors said he had a torn labrum in his throwing arm. He flew out to his West Hollywood home on a private jet with his wife and kids.

Trump Foundation Owns 27 ‘Alt-Right’ Fake News Websites

heil trump“They let that little clown Bezos own the Washington Post and all he does is post nasty, really nasty, and not true stuff about me,” said Trump. “Websites are better anyway. What idiot buys a newspaper company that prints on paper? Stupid and dumb.”

Trump Denies There Ever Was A Trump University With 4 am Tweet

trump university
The Greatest University

“Total lie. There was never a Trump University,” said Trump. “Liberal media lies. Apologize!!” 

Jay-Z Associate Seen At Kanye West’s Hotel Before Paramedics Arrived

jay-z associate A known Jay-Z associate was seen speeding away from Kanye West’s hotel prior to paramedics arriving. Kanye was taken to the local hospital.

Monsanto Ran Over By Angry Farmer

monsanto Des Moines, Iowa – An angry farmer in a tracker ran over Tom Monsanto Sunday afternoon during a drunken rage after receiving his annual seed bill.

Current List Of Celebrities Waiting Canadian Citizenship

hollywood sign

The following celebrities are currently waiting for Canadian citizenship. The process can take several years.  

It’s a long line, even for celebrities, to gain lawful citizenship.

Kanye Has Epic Concert Meltdown The Second Night In A Row

(Kanye Has Had Enough of Phonies)
(Kanye Has Had Enough of Phonies)

Kanye West showed up two hours late Saturday night to his concert in Sacremento, then proceeded to play two of the same songs, then went on a 15-minute rant about Jay-Z and Beyonce.

Black Friday Deals: Walmart Selling 72 inch 4k TVs For $199

black friday deals at walmart
(Walmart Black Friday)

This might be the greatest Black Friday sale of all time, a 72 inch 4k television for only $199.00. The sale begins Friday at most Walmarts countrywide.

Trump Brags About Winning Trump University Lawsuit

trump university
The Greatest University

After a $25 million settlement with Trump University and the plaintiffs, Trump took to social media to brag about winning the lawsuit. “I made a lot of money,” said Trump. “I won, like always.”

Trump Names Caitlyn Jenner US Fitness Education Advisor

caitlyn jenner and trump

President-elect Donald trump has named Caitlyn Jenner to be the US Fitness Education Advisor. The staunch Trump supporter is honored to receive the leadership role. “This is pretty cool,” said Jenner. “Fitness is for everyone and I represent everyone.”

Washington DC Swamp Now Toxic

draining a toxic swamp
(Toxic Swamp)

“The only thing worse than a swamp is a fucking toxic swamp.” – Ben Franklin  

Washington DC Swamp Now Toxic As Fuck

draining a toxic swamp
(Toxic Swamp)

“The only thing worse than a swamp is a fucking toxic swamp.” – Ben Franklin