Donald Trump States 10 Reasons Why We Should Go To War With Canada

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Trump WarOutspoken Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump released ten reasons why America should take over Canada by force of the American Army and Airforce. On his campaign website, Trump states:

One – Secure our borders! The 9/11 hijackers came through Canada. If I were president during the attack, it never would have happened because I wouldn’t have let them in. Canada’s border along the North Pole is crucial. We need to keep an eye on Russia, and we can’t have Canada doing it when America is way, way better.

Two – The French Canadians. Who needs them? A war with Canada would be like also having a war with France. A two for one war.

Three – Beaver pellets. Their market hold on Beaver pellets is unfair, those beavers are American.

 

Four – Their money has ducks on it. We would be doing the Canadians a favor by taking them over.

Five – For oil. They are our biggest importer of oil. We’d be safer if it were ours. It would also show the Middle Eastern countries we aren’t afraid to go to war over oil. 

Six – I’ll think of more later but trust me, there are at least ten reasons to go to war with Canada, you can see it in their beady Canadian eyes. Something fishy is going on above the current northern border. We could win that war in a day.

D-Trump 2016, Make America Great Again!

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  • Johnathon Belair

    what the fuck is wrong with this is he on fucking crack does he honestly think that us Canadians are going to stand around and let them take over Canada no i don’t fucking think so. Donald trump can go fuck him self. i cant believe the selflessness of some Americans.

    • Wrath Child

      Google the word “Satire” and see what comes up lol.

    • Stefan S M-Chev

      Look up selflessness while googling satire… 😉

    • USA!

      Hey stupid, this article is fake.

      Dumb Canadians..

      • Barry Marshall

        Stupid Americans, you voted for Bush and Obama. Doesn’t say much for American IQ.

        • USA!

          And you have the queen of england. Hahaha. she’s still on your money isn’t she. independent. haha

          • USA!

            wait. the queen of ENGLAND! aren’t you canadian? not really. did you win your independence from the british like us brave americans. NO!

            Dumb Canadians…

      • Johnathon Belair

        fuck you you little fucking prick fucking Americans go fuck your self asshole

        • USA!

          Calm down little boy, we know you want to be as good as us Americans. Canadians will be good someday.

          (Not Really. HA!)

          • Johnathon Belair

            pft you Americans suck you all think your so good but it in life your all sewed and just because you think that if you site behind a computer you think you can say whatever you want your probably some fat little fuck with no life HA ( no efense to the nice americans)

          • arctic_front

            Dude, shut up!,… you are embarrassing the rest of us Canadians… the smart ones who knew this was a joke. Sheesh. You must also be a Liberal voter too.

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  • Michel Gingras

    Fuck you TRUMP simply FUCK YOU !!! you are a fucking JOKE….I may add a LOOSER without a brain, you probably think with your cock half the time. if it wasn’t for us FRENCH CANADIANS, Florida would not be. MR know it all, you are the biggest joke that has ever happened to the USA, if you are elected, my god the Americans will not have my respect anymore. Crawl back under the rock you came from…

    • SledHead

      I am Canadian too and if you cant understand satire then perhaps you should go back under your rock.
      you are an embarrassment to Canadians Tabernacle!!!!

    • Stefan S M-Chev

      Hey If thinking with my cock built me an empire like Trump’s, I’d own you right now…

    • USA!

      Hey stupid, this article is fake.

      Dumb Canadians.

  • Mitchell Johnson

    What a ignorant prick. America is doomed with this brain dead goof. If he’s elected god bless America. But if he honestly thinks he’ll take Canada he’s clearly fucking stupid. We will fight and we will show America that we can win and we’re stronger then he thinks pride is much stronger then fire power! Watch this goof turn America into a dictatorship if he’s a elected… ?

  • MadDoggyca

    u guys below in the comment section are ether stupid.. or just stupid

    u to a site called satiratribune.com, and comment as if it was real or something

    here let me brake that down from u

    satira-trbune.com
    satira….

    • Fin

      The only stupid person here is you.

      • USA!

        Not at all. He is right and you’re probably one of the people saying “Oh my god. Donald Trump is such an idiot.” And then “Oh, this isn’t real?”

        • Fin

          He (or she, I wouldn’t know) can’t call others stupid when the way the spell points directly at poor education.

          • USA!

            It’s called typing quickly IDIOT. Shut up. And look at the grammar in your last comment.

            (Is that spelling good enough for you!?!?!)

          • before making fun of peoples spelling you should check your own, you wrote THE instead of THEY.

          • Fin

            What

          • Fin

            I don’t see anywhere that needs a ‘they’.

    • Don Cloud

      that kindergarten diploma must have been a highlight for you …right?

      • USA!

        Better than you, you’re parents decided you were too dumb for preschool. Just threw you on the street.
        So Sad. NOT!

        • Don Cloud

          Good reply. Your parents sold you to the Catholic priests for their Saturday fun …

          • USA!

            HEY EVERYONE!
            Look at this don cloud.
            he is really DONALD TRUMP!
            Have you built your 30 foot wall yet on the southern border?

          • Don Cloud

            USA! Nope if I was Donald Trump I’d be lying about you … not telling the truth.

          • USA!

            You are LITERALLY SO STUPID. I have honestly heard better comebacks from a 4 year old.

            Oh wait. You probably are four years old.
            OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

          • Don Cloud

            Who’s the stupid one????? Arguing with a four year old …. and losing! Again …. that kindergarten diploma must have been a highlight for you …right? LMFAO!

    • Kyle Cardinal

      Ummm IRL Trump is winning, That’s should answer the “Are you people dumb” Question…I think a lot of people believe this because its a plausible situation coming from Trump..It wouldn’t surprise me if he wanted to attack Canada.

  • Attila Vinczer

    Americans are still mad we torched the White House in retaliation for their attack on York. They quickly painted it white to clean it up. After many years, Americans returned the Mace they stole from the city of York. In the beginning, the Mace represented the authority of the Crown. Today, it represents the authority of the speaker in the Legislative Assembly of Ontario.

    There was a time Top Gun was at Base Borden in Barrie, Ontario and we did build one of the best fighter jets, the AVRO Arrow, in Ontario. (I think Northrop and or Lockheed had much to do with it being sunk.) Those days are long gone. So best we remain strong allies with the US or they will force us to use the secret Wuxi Finger Hold, rendering them defenseless.

  • Tee

    Who took care of all the stranded passengers on the planes that was grounded that right canada did actually newfoundland Mr trump you have no idea what you are talking about and it’s time you shut your mouth

    • Fawaz Khalid

      Hey man it’s a satirical website, none of this is real. Not that trump isn’t an idiot and he should definitely shut his mouth.

      • Dennis Austin

        Careful Trump might take you to court for saying he is a idiot and need to shut his mouth lol !!

    • Rob lover

      Is he for real? Why go to war?

      • Walton Wally Wilson

        wait till next year everybody will be stoned and say whatever ad have another toke lol

    • Bert1

      Its a joke dude – none of this article was actually real. Can’t believe you actually believed this – wake up and smell the coffee

  • Don Cloud

    The other reason is his old lady is banging a Canadian born New York Ranger. I hear his turn is on Tuesdays …

  • Boo R Maccallum

    bbetter wait few months trump to cold right now and you wont be able to find us in our igloos lol

    • sharon mateo

      love that because they really think were all from the nothpole had to laugh there so stupit when i was there had a girl who lived just across the water ask me do i get summer thats how dum they are

      • Derek

        Speaking of stupid…this bitch still hasn’t figured it out…

  • Bitter Westerner

    Just dumb enough for some Americans to believe …
    totally fake.

    • Derek

      Seems to be all the Canadians are the ones believing this article is real…

  • Wrath Child

    Here’s the problem…when a satirical website posts something like this…and you have to wait till half way through to be REALLY be sure if it’s all a joke…or something Trump ACTUALLY said….cause he’s that insane.

    Honestly, point #1 and #2, you can’t tell me you don’t see Trump looking into a camera and saying shit like that lol.

  • Stefan S M-Chev

    I am a proud Canadian… I laughed… Even if this is purely satirical, I can definitely see him saying that. And NO!… no one is planning on invading Canada you imbeciles… Lol
    I hope to see him in the Whitehouse. North America doesn’t need another soft spoken, politically correct pansey. Trump is an eccentric blowhard, but what great leader does’t have some erratic idiosyncrasies… What he does have though is, balls and leadership in droves. For your sake and ours, my Yankee brethren… Vote this nutcase in. We all desperately need a nutcase to unfuck the damage done by liberalism to all of our freedom and security. And us half frozen polite Kanuks need it to offset the all the rainbows and unicorns blowing out the ass of our new pagent queen Trudeau… (Or however you spell that French BS)

  • Cec

    Bloody hell. He wouldn’t even get past Ontario and Alberta. We are one of the most favored countries. If you go to war with us then you got another world war because Australia, France, Brazil, Mexico, and parts of Russia

    • USA!

      And…… Those countries are all weak and PARTS OF RUSSIA not all. And look at France.

  • Terry

    To think as a Canadian I thought trump would have made a great president.. until I read this.. he’s got another thing coming if he thinks they could win a war with Canada in day. we fought for this land in the first place, apparently his little brain couldn’t comprehend the history in which Canada was formed.. not only that, we are much more advanced now than we were back in the day and we are definitely not in as much debt as they are today… not to mention a lot of Canadians are already waiting for a fight.. it’s just a matter of with whom we will be fighting with. so Trump. good luck in your endeavors… and if you do decide Canada is the place you would like to war with, we will gladly accept. Just don’t hold us responsible for what happens to you specifically for being such a dumbass

    • Paulverizer Pierce

      If it weren’t for America protecting your ass then you would be speaking Russian cause you were an offspring of some communist fuck who was balls deep in your mom. YOU didn’t fight for this land, the British did lmao arrogant prick. Get past 3rd grade history before you talk about it. O and btw. You borrow military equipment from America. They have ten times the population, ten times the military, ten times the industry and ten times the budget. Good luck. Canada is our greatest ally… not to be confused as our superiors.

      • Terry

        it’s funny how you think we would be afraid of the Russians, or America for that matter. Even funnier that you think we are your allies….. what our governments do has nothing to do with the actual people. America is that is the big bully country who tries to make friends with all these little countries just by saying “we are bigger than you”… come try it buddy and see what happens

        • USA!

          Frickin canadian. Shut up, eh. We could blow your head off if we felt like it.

          • Terry

            come try it.. btw… its you americans that say eh more than us.. jokes on you

          • USA!

            Dude. you STUPID. You know how you said America is a bully country. That means we are STRONG and can beat you up.

          • Terry

            if you think bully means strong then you are more stupid than I thought

          • USA!

            Bullies are the people who beat up little kids. Canada is the little kid. The only people who can stop the bully is the adult. There is no adult cuz we da strongest! And you the weakest!

          • arctic_front

            Terry, STFU!. You are an embarrassment to to THINKING Canadians everywhere YOU are not. Dumbass!

          • Terry

            First of all…. you are more than welcome to come try and shut me up, because I’m no keyboard warrior like yourself.. Second… you are the embarrassment to Canadians seeing as you are unable to write a simple statement. Maybe you should try school, and then attempt at writing something more comprehensible. You are the very reason why stupid people shouldn’t breed.

        • Paulverizer Pierce

          LMFAO you must have slept through school. Or you deliberately choose to ignore the world around you. I currently live in Canada and have friends who are in the military here. They borrow equipment and ships and everything from the Americans. You don’t even have the firepower to keep us at bay. If you put the world’s total militaristic budget in a pile, the U.S. consists of appx. 48% of that. We have superior technology AND funding in our military as well. If you are silly enough to believe you could put a dent in our forces you are one of the most ignorant Canadians I have ever met lol We have more people in the state of California ALONE, than you do in all of Canada… let that sink in for a moment. Maybe that’s all it will do is sink in the mud clogging that thick skull of yours xD We literally press one button and end your whole country. Shit, we don’t even have to send in troops. Our Air Force, alone, would decimate your whole nation. You’re right, I do believe we are allies. Ignorant fucks like you need to go back to 3rd grade if you don’t think we are. There is a reason the 49th Parallel is the longest undefended border in the world. If you can’t see that then you need to wake the fuck up and smell the roses buddy cause you are delusional.

          • Terry

            Again.. i’ll repeat how dumb you are by saying because you have more, that you are superior… more doesn’t mean better nor does it mean stronger.. and bullying sorry to say does not mean the big kid picking on the little kid.. oh and btw… there is a reason we showed off our jets in the first place… and we aren’t afraid of invasion. because unlike you we would fight… the only reason you are In the position you guys are in today is not because you are bigger or badder… it’s because you hide behind other countries… you pick fights because you think they’ll be easy shit. then you call in all these other countries to do the job fore you because you are incapable of completing the objective yourselves… and when shit gets hard you tuck your vagina between your legs and high tail it out of there. so keep talking your shit.. because that’s all it is, talk….

          • Paulverizer Pierce

            Sure, I am dumb and you believe Canada would win the war if the states were to pommel your pompous ass lmao you wouldn’t even survive living in America let alone fighting against them cause you are just an arrogant prick who sits behind his computer thinkin his shit don’t stink. All because you live in the 51st state. Shut up and do as you are told like a good little doggie, bitch. Just like you guys always have LMAO come get you some if ur so damn confident hahaha

          • sharon mateo

            the problem is your all living in the same brain stupit

  • Shel Dyck

    1812

    • Sean LeBlanc

      I was just gonna mention that hahahaha! History states that we shall kick their righteous asses back to where they came and then proceed to burn down their white house

    • Paulverizer Pierce

      haha the war of 1812 was a war between America and Britain. They weren’t even a nation at that point. “Canada” didn’t even fight in that. There were some settlers who even sided with the American armies. Get familiar with your history before spouting ignorance.

      • Cody Ross

        Britain ordered Canadian generals to fight. The only difference was we were known as British North America then. If you learned anything in high school, they would’ve taught you about that. Canadians put in all the effort. England just sent the orders.

        • Paulverizer Pierce

          Again… you speak of Canada as if it were a nation…. “Canadian generals” didn’t exist. You were a colony until July 1, 1867. I may be bad at math but if I’m not mistaken, 1867 didn’t come until after 1812. The war was between Americans and the British. Your ancestors got caught in the crossfire. America and Canada have never fought against each other in all of their history. That is why we are each other’s greatest allies and will remain to be for years to come.

          • Alexander Park

            So you are saying that before the Declaration of Independance the US of A didnt exist and was simply known as British colony over to the west of England. No you idiots you were americans before you were independant. And France beat the british for you pussies americans love to toot their horn but if the French didnt intervene US of A wouldnt exist. Americans lovve to share how good of a job they did when actuslly the french came in to the rescue. And while canada was a british colony it was still fricken canada. The loyalists you speak of lived in Upper Canada and the FRENCH CANADIENS lived in lower canada. You are seriously telling me that when the US tried to invade Canada they said lets invade this British Colony????? No you retard it was marked on maps as canada hundreds of years before we were a country. Thats like saying Newfoundland didnt exist until 1949 because it was just a colony of britain. Strange how in world war 1 there was the Newfoundlands own troops….. not just british colony troops. Your just being an ass because the US lost the war big time to a much much smaller country. And the US didnt win their own war of independance the French did it for them. Which reminds me remember when the french saved the US from the British but then when Napolean asked for the favor returned the americans said naw. Remember this. When the japanese bombed pearl harbour Canada declared war agaisnt them instantly.The US took a day. FOR ONE WHOLE DAY CANADA STOOD AGAISNT JAPAN ALONE WHEN THE US WAS ATTACKED. US sucks. Sold material to the Nazis and in both world wars let the Canadians and British and Allies fight the germans while they sat back and watched for years before joining.

          • Paulverizer Pierce

            Precisely. You are not a nation until it is declared. Before the DOI was signed America was a colony of Britain fighting for freedom. That’s why it was called a Revolution. It wasn’t a war between two countries it was a revolt to rise up against the mother country and say fuck you we are gonna do it our way. Not one nation on the planet was a nation until it was declared as so. Thats like saying Im a CPA before I get my degree lmao Yes the French did help us and we probably couldnt have done it without them. I don’t know where I ever stated that they didn’t. You were a colony not a nation. Yet the point still stands they didn’t invade for land they invaded to prove a point and they did seeing as the british withdrew their forces. That’s called a surrender boys. Guess you are too arrogant to accept that. You can’t be a nation before you are declared a nation lmao that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard of. Canada was Canada hundreds of years before it became canada… you realise how hillbilly stupid that sounds right? I existed before I ever existed. Whatever you are smokin man, pass that shit cause it sounds strong af. Also, if you want to bring up us waiting to jump into the war, read up on your WORLD history and not some bias version you learned from your elementary teacher. America and England made a pact called the Isolationist Policy stating that we have to leave them alone to their affairs in the East and they couldn’t interfere with ours. We joined WWI because they owed us something like $20 million and if they lost then there would be no one to pay us. After that war they reinstated the Isolationist Policy as The Monroe Doctrine. So, again, England told America to stick to themselves and they would do the same. Hence why we didn’t help in WWII until years in when they finally attacked us. Your points are not valid without knowing a little more about American history than assuming you know from all that control and conditioning you have been through in your life cause you are clearly brain washed. See I don’t just spew at the mouth I read into every situation from all standpoints before I make rash assumptions about a people or culture that I dont know about. Luckily for me I have lived all over the place and have read into all kinds of history. I’m actually a pretty big buff. I don’t have fallacies such as you. It just brings us back to the old saying that everyone hates the guy shakin the biggest stick. You guys have a stick up your ass for your own damn allies and don’t even see how silly and naive you sound. 17 years I spent there and never once heard about Canadians. You know why? Cause you’re not that important. You believe you are because you have a big dog in your backyard. You have grown this false sense of power that has never existed. Sure you are a great nation but you need to get your head out of your ass and realise the truth behind your own success. It was never you. Never has been, never will be. Were practically one with one another. You talk about us like they know us and 9/10 of you prejudice pricks cant even name the last 3 prime ministers but they can all name the last 3 presidents. Have some national pride and at least be thankful and proud of the shit that you ACTUALLY did as a nation. Not these false senses of victory over something you were never around to see. You wanna talk about the WW? Canadian soldiers fought well and fought bravely. Won some pretty important battles in both of them. Never did it alone. No one has ever done it alone. Welcome to war. Sides are chosen and allies are made. Between you and America, I would say you are the most arrogant out of the two. Taking credit for wars that you were never a part of. The colony of Britain fought in the war of 1812. Just like a colony of Britain stood up to the king and said go fuck yourself, leading to what we know as America today. They were never a nation before it was declared. You cant exist before you are born.

          • Paulverizer Pierce

            I know when a conversation is headed nowhere, however. So on a less serious note… Sharpton for president ya’ll. I’m outtie 😀

          • Dra Daubs

            You are not very bright my good sir….

          • budhappy

            it does not really matter….Canada, upper Canada….the point is…..The soldiers from the south, came up here, and we kicked their asses back, and then went and burnt down the White house for good measure. We could have taken it as well, but, we’re Canadian. Our beer was getting warm and we had to get back to finish it before it got disgustingly warm….

          • Kenneth Russell Warren

            If that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard, then you haven’t been listening to Trump, your future President.

          • D.WAdair

            If they took us over it might be a good thing. Our dollar would equal their. It would end cross border shopping. It would also help our NHL clubs. I like it when does it happens I can’t wait.

          • Cody Ross

            If you know anything about Canada though, through history, we were still known as Canada. People that lived here during that time period referred to themselves as Canadian because they didn’t receive much from Britain at the time. All Britain did was defend the land. There was no social aid at all. Hence why we always refer to it as “Canada defeated the United States of America in the war of 1812.” Because that’s exactly what happened. Canada defeated the United States. And we burned down the White House to while we were at it. You can spin it either way you want, but the facts are still there along with the history. We may be great allies now, but we weren’t then. It’s the whole reason why Canada expanded so fast. Was to stop the USA from taking territory. (Granted, this happened after being classified as a dominion.)

          • Fernando Garci-Crespo

            You are confusing the term nation with the term country, and geographical area. The British Colonies of America were a nation before shortly before declaring independence because they became their own cultural identity separate from the British, they became a country when they governed themselves and had their constitution. In the same way, Canada was a nation even without being independent, it had it’s own cultural identity, it was a dependent nation, which means it did not have autonomy from the British but it was still considered a nation. And Canada was a geographical area in the map (The British colonies of northern North America where called Canada in the same way Mexico was called New Spain by the Spanish during the colonial times), so basically before declaring independence from the UK, Canada was a nation and a geographical area, but not a country. Until you and the Canadians have stated wherever Canada won (or lost) the 1812 war as a nation or a country, you will never reach a middle point.
            If you were wondering I am not Canadian, I was raised in Boston and now I live in Canada, so I get to see both sides. And my family was Spanish, Mexican and German, so I can have multiple points of view.

          • Troy Livingstone

            I guess you are entitled to your opinion, of course if you listen to the rest of the world their opinion is different than yours. Why else would Canadians be loved worldwide, why else would some Americans claim to be Canadian just to get treated better ? I guess you’re the expert though.

          • Samuel Dowdall

            You are acting as though you need to declare something before it exists. Well newsflash the US hasn’t ‘declared’ a war since WW2 but the US has still gone to war many many times. Just because you haven’t declared something doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened. those people were still Canadians and were fighting for CANADIAN goals. If we started only believing things that people ‘declared officially’ then you get a country of people who believe Vietnam was a peacekeeping mission, or that the U.S went into Iraq to help stabilize the region, and not to just steal the oil. You are standing from a point of ignorance my friend, you went through the american school system which is regarded as one of the worst and most biased in the world. The history you are taught focuses on america and america alone, and neglects to inform students about the other countries that are just as important as the U.S (contrary to popular american belief). The facts you are given are edited by the american media to create the image of a strong, good willed, benevolent nation that strives to bring peace and democracy to the world. The simple fact is, that whole image is a lie. You say america has the biggest stick, and while that is certainly true, you act as though we are bitter BECAUSE the U.S is so powerful, which simply isn’t the case. We are bitter because the U.S has a reputation for being a highly war driven country and at the same time they have the biggest stick. Which is just a dangerous combination, and up in Canada we actually like the idea of peace on earth, and good will towards man.

          • Cap’n Canuk

            No, no, remember? Iraq was for WMD’s lmao.

          • Mike Robinson

            So the Americans did not win their revolution that started in 1764, because they were not a nation so they only colonist being terrorist? This was & is Canada, colony or country. Our history is just as old as USA, just because we did not become a country 91 years later does not mean we did not have pride on our land. So, Paulverizer Pierce, history in our legion where it lies, that’s is the reason we are the Dominion of Canada & not United State of American, TODAY. Yes, there were some settlers that wanted to join USA, but these where the bullies that more & couldn’t. in the 1800’s we didn’t try kill to steal the native lands & those who was in favor on USA wanted those land. The war 1812 did happen, & those those who lived and who had pride on our then settlement in Canada, did fight it & did won it.

          • Bart Jopling

            We Canadians did the same to the native population as the US did

          • Adrian M. Kleinbergen

            You’re a real hero.

          • Don Penteluke

            And don’t forget, our Canadian ancestors burned down the White House too. Paul Pierce, you must be a Trump supporter seeing as the way you criticize others of having an end cation while remaining dumb as a stump.

          • Dylan White

            Alright, As an american citizen who lives in Canada, let me say a few things about this argument. Canada did not exist before 1867, and if I am saying that, then I am also saying that the united states did not exist until they officially became a country. It’s funny because as much as people hate to admit it… History is flawed in both countries. Us Americans are not your enemies. I’m tired of hearing about all the hate to my country, even if If I understand that as a whole we have not always been in the right. It’s funny… In the states we do not ever hate on Canada, but in Canada all i hear are comments about the USA. It’s funny how ridiculous this whole argument is over an article that is fake and about semantics about whether canada was a country or not. It’s also funny, that more hate is coming from the canadian side when you are supposed to be the most polite and respectful one out of us. YOU even have a law against hate groups and all I hear is hate. BOTH the US and Canada are wrong. You must realize that fighting amongst ourselves just breeds hate.

          • Paolo Zambito

            I love the USA. I love your democracy. Yes there are many inequalities (and billionaires trying to control the world) and you are stuck with a few very conservatives morons. But your country is the place were all is possible.

          • James Rielly

            The USA is corporatist republic,the American dream is propaganda dished out by the elite to give people hope.Most Americans are either uneducated or could care Less about what Canada did in 1812.Except the few that get trolled by someone stating 1812.

          • Canada101

            Oh really because I’ve been to the States many times and all they do is bash Canada or not know because the states schools don’t teach them anything but the United States history, and Canada has been called lower and upper Canada since 1812 the lower Canada was for the lower class citizens which is the French Canadians the upper class was for the citizens who spoke English

          • Paolo Zambito

            And there were two parliaments also. Each controlling their own territory…

            Besides, Canada stopped being a colony in 1982, not in 1867… Much to the disappointment of French Canadians by the way (I know, it is a paradox).

            Not to sound presumptuous, but we are taught our history, as American are taught theirs. It’s normal that we know our history better than you do.

          • Colin Swan

            So your saying India didn’t exist before it achieved independence in 1947?

          • Mark Davidson
          • BenjaminJGrimm

            It’s almost as funny as Americans claiming they won WW2, we all know if the Soviets didn’t send millions to die on their front Hitler would have walked over the American forces..

          • Seytom

            Yes, Hitler would have walked over the American forces because the Atlantic is so much less of a challenge than the British Channel, and we saw what Hitler did to the British!!!!

            The Soviet contribution to World War II was critical, both in starting it and ending it, but if they had somehow managed to stay out of it, the US would have finished up Japan then turned their sights–and likely their atomic weapons–on Germany. Americans often forget or are ignorant of the Soviet contribution to the war in Europe. Soviets, and random anti-Americans, forget or are ignorant about the US basically winning the war against Japan on their own, WHILE leading the war effort in western Europe. If Germany and Japan hadn’t had the US against them, they would have walked over the Russian forces.

          • brittany

            German UBoats were all over the Atlantic, and even traveled up the St. Lawrence River long before the States finally joined the war effort. It was the Canadian Navy that kept them from attacking North America.

          • Evan Asselstine

            You are so wrong, America thought that they could expand their influence and that the people of Canada would be happy to side with them. Guess what we were not. Guess what we still don’t want to be part of the States. Want to know why? America, most violent country in the world. America, not even close to being the best educated. America, the country that is loathed by the rest of the world. America, so full of crap that when they talk the BS comes straight out of their mouth. Americans are uneducated, bigoted, prejudiced and hated. There was a group of Americans in Israel that went into a Jewish Kosher Restaurant and ordered pork and thought they were funny. My friend that was there and a Canadian slowly backed away from them and said I am not with them, I am not an American. They threw them out of the restaurant. My second cousin went to Australia on leave from fighting in Afghanistan and they thought he was American and no one would let him into the pub, the hotel or anywhere. The minute they found out he was a Canadian he was welcomed in with open arms.
            No thanks America, stay where you are or we will remind you that you didn’t win WW2 or WW1 or jack that we, Canadians took the most difficult beach with the least casualties. The Americans were given the two easiest beaches and they managed to screw that up so bad they were weeks getting off the beach while the Canadians were the only force to reach their objectives on D-Day.

          • Cap’n Canuk

            You’re talking about “confederation”, when Upper and Lower Canada combined. Prior to whites ever settling, natives even called the (Toronto) Ontario area “Kanata” or “The Meeting Place”. So Canada has been called that, or some phonetic variation thereof for hundreds of years.

          • Adrian M. Kleinbergen

            Dolt.

      • Scott Hodgins

        Please get your history correct.. Canada did exist in 1812. Upper Canada, Lower Canada, and to the north there was a place called Rupertsland. But there was a “Canada”

        • Paulverizer Pierce

          Canada became a nation July 1, 1867. Which means “Canada” wasn’t even on the map. Again, there were even settlers in the north who sided with America. At that point, “Canada” was just a bunch of british loyalists who were getting persecuted in America during the time of the Revolution so they all got together and moved north. It is known in history as the Great Migration. Also, it wasn’t just the British giving them orders. It all started over the British building defenses and forts along the American borders after we beat them out of our country. If we are talking politics, seeing as EVERY war is politics, America also won the War of 1812 when the British withdrew their forces from our borders. If you are Canadian, then you know that Canada has accomplished a lot of great feats in their time. There is plenty to be proud and brag about. Winning the War of 1812, however, is not one of those.

          • Halifax POV

            Considering that the War of 1812 was started by the USA attempting to take over British colonial land to the north–and make no mistake, although not yet the Dominion of Canada, it was known as Upper Canada and Lower Canada–then our side still won even if the British chose to withdraw from USA territory which they had been occupying. British forces (along with help from Canadian aboriginal peoples and settlers) repelled the invasion forces of the USA.

            It was never the intent of the British to regain USA lands. Certainly, the USA did not win: tried to take British land in the colonies of Canada, failed miserably, had the president’s house burned… two hundred years later, many in the USA still cannot accept that their side FAILED, i.e. LOST. We won because we stopped your side from taking over our territory; that is all we wanted.

          • Elizabeth Freeman

            right on

          • vlad the impaler

            lying to appease your failures wont help if you know yourself ,you are wrong.

          • Ryan Fleming

            Interesting how the US national anthem is about a war they lost. Written in 1814 a poem about by Francis Scott Key after witnessing the bombardment of Fort McHenry by British ships of the Royal Navy in Baltimore Harbor during the Battle Of Fort McHenry in the War of 1812. Yes by Canadians, and yes there were Canadians here, and we were part of the British Colony but also Canadians.

          • Paulverizer Pierce

            lmao you guys are so full of yourselves. Funny how you always talk about Americans like they are and here you sit with your delusions of victory in a War you never existed in lol That’s like me saying Louisiana existed just because half the country was named Louisiana Territory before we ever became a nation xD The war started because after we won the revolution they decided to place defenses along our borders and we felt threatened and told them to remove them. When they decided not to we started a war. We used the war as a way to take more land, granted. However, that wasn’t what it was over to begin with. There is this beautiful book called ‘The War of 1812: for Dummies’. In case you slept through school. You should be able to understand the text I hope 🙂 Thanks for the opinion on the matter though. It’s nice to see how many arrogant Canadians can come to the same delusional conclusion about a war they never fought in. Glad to see such interest in your mother land though. National pride is a dying characteristic. You should be proud. Even if you were never really a part of it. Even if your motherland did lose and withdraw their forces. Either way, it has shaped you into the beautiful beings that you are today. Cheers to that haha

          • This is to much …my friend can you name me just (1) war you actually won….and don’t tell me your idependance cause you needed the French to win or you would still be under British rule

          • Casanis

            You know we fought in every war you fought in except for Vietnam, right? And you know we’ve won every war that you’ve fought in, right (including the war of 1812)?

            We are actually a nation that can say we’ve never lost a war, unlike you…you know that right?

            Sadly, you know nothing of what transpires outside your boarders. Probably be best to keep it that way so you’ll never hear the rest of the world laughing.

          • Read your smutt !!! pls make a small correction it’s not BOARDERS try borders makes more sense to your inane comments

          • Casanis

            hahaha….oh no a spelling mistake. You spelled independence wrong in your original post you dumb shit, but I didn’t mention that in my comment.

            And now I’ll mention this as well…here is a direct quote of your genius comment so you can’t go back and change it…

            “Read your smutt !!! pls make a small correction it’s not BOARDERS try borders makes more sense to your inane comments”

            So in reply I’ll say:

            Read your smut!!! pls make a small correction it’s not smutt try smut makes more sense to your inane comments”

            I even wrote it in your nonsensical English hoping you’d see exactly how stupid you are…

          • Wendy Jenkins

            I really hope you’ve realized that this is a political satire, you know like the funny papers? Trump never made these comments, it’s a joke.

          • Casanis

            Of course I do. My comments were to Paulverizer…and then for some reason Philippe Ouimet, whom I assuming is Canadian as well (as I am) attacked me for a spelling mistake.

          • Denis Tarko

            No, I do not realise

          • Denis Tarko

            I fellow for it. I mean that Trp wanted to take over Canada.

          • vlad the impaler

            wat do you know the senile old stinky bastard can spell.

          • vlad the impaler

            yet you speak to us with such scorn and disrespect.thats because canada is a colored country now you cant relate to us anymore.why fight in all those wars only to be invaded through immigration?was it worth it?jew scheming had whites dying in war while they pushed the immigration ticket,now what a state canada is in.we should be fighting the jew.

          • Nathalie Connor

            It may still be a secret, but Canadians did indeed participate (willingly no conscription) in the Vietnam War. Sadly we did play a role…

          • Nathalie Connor

            Touché! We really ought to tell them.

          • Dave Constable

            I see America as the most successful military power on the planet for the past 2 and a quarter centuries. I guy would be hard pressed to find 2 years back to back in which American military was not attacking someone or other.
            From 13 states clinging to the Atlantic littoral they have conquered half a continent, they have colonies and regions of influence over most of the globe, their war planes, war satellites, war ships and war bases are almost everywhere. Their covert operators have been achieving American government goals for decades.
            To answer your question specifically, they won from Mexico a huge amount of what is now the continental United States in the 1840’s, finishing off what slavers began in Northern Mexico(Texas) a decade earlier.
            In the last century we saw the centre of power for anglo hegemony on the planet shift from London to Washington.
            Canada’s last century has been , for the most part, moving with that shift from being an obedient dominion in the London centred empire, to being an arm in USA’s world ambitions.
            USA has been a winner for all that 2 and a quarter centuries. They have always expanded, never been reduced.

          • vlad the impaler

            we neede french ships and weapons ,that goes for alot of countries,we freed france from germany you old bastard.name a war you have ever won ?i thought so.

          • Nathalie Connor

            We freed the Dutch from Germany. Your turn.

          • Glen Armstrong

            I am sorry, you see, in Canada, w are taught history that includes history from outside our own borders. I know it might be difficult for someone to comprehend that who learned in a school system where the classroom maps END at the Northern border of the U.S. But if you read history books that were NOT written in the US, you would find out the the US invaded Canada TWICE, and lost BOTH times. We have a smaller, but better educated population that takes pride in it’s history. No need for us to rewrite history so we can claim that we never lost a war. As an example my American friends all say Vietnam does not count because it was a “peace action”, only the rest of the world called it a war.

          • Hjuicy

            Got eeeemmm

          • Anony_Mouse58

            And…………. He had no response to you. Well done sir!

          • vlad the impaler

            how about this for a response…..LIAR,,,the canada is a third world nothing more.you should be ashamed of yourselves,if you are so proud of your white history,why did you let jews squander it and turn you into a dumping ground for hordes of the unwashed?so save all your canadian pride bull,you have nothing to be proud of now just a future the likes that of islamabad…have fun canuck.

          • Glen Armstrong

            We are proud of our HISTORY, not our “White History”. Canada is a true multicultural country. If we have nothing that the US is interested in, please remember that without our electricity, gas, natural gas, and minerals, your country would have have to step back into the stone age. The last time one of your high tension lines was damaged can cut off the electricity from Canada, your entire Eastern seaboard went dark.

          • To be honest that anony_cunt guy is just someone looking to shitpost while calling people stupid for the very things that he does in excess. He would lick his own asshole if it didn’t hurt his back.

          • Johnny Leafs

            Exactly! Thank you!

          • vlad the impaler

            lol rambling of a madman.

          • vlad the impaler

            in canada you will be learning indian history pretty soon you cowards you gave away your country.better educated?thats why america still comes up with all the cool technology ,because canadians are so smart they are blinded by their own superiority.fuck you dont you talk about vietnam,stop right there you liberal prick.

          • Glen Armstrong

            Sorry Vlad the self impaler, you should look at WHO comes up with all the cool technology. US companies hire staff from Canada, U.K & India to run their research departments in the US. Many of your international companies base their research departments in Canada, and European countries. Even your space program was not a US operation. US funded, yes. 15% of the researchers were Germans who migrated after the Second World War, about 65% were Canadian’s who had worked for Avro Air, the FIRST company in the world to create a passenger jet. When our government was pushed by the government with “The Big Stick” Avro was shut down and it’s researchers were hired to get the US to the moon.

            Having the funds to hire well educated people does NOT make your country have a good education system.

            But, what can one expect from a person who’s informed response to truth is “fuck you” and “stop right there you liberal prick”. Just for your knowledge, although I have voted every election in over 30 years, I have never voted “Liberal”.

          • Nathalie Connor

            Then why was NASA first staffed by Canadians? We don’t rudely refer our First Nations peoples as ‘Indians’ and we have always studied their history, not only because it is fascinating and that they have much to teach us about their world view, but more so because our own history is closely intertwined with theirs. My French-Canadian ancestors always treated them with respect which forged many long-lasting trading partnerships and assistance with physically defending each other’s territory. I cannot speak for their relationship with the British, other than they both made life hellish for both peoples.
            With regard to the War of 1812, when you consider neither side gained the territory it wanted, and the casualty lists were far higher than anticipated, neither side won. Having said that, we in the northern territories did not appreciate your decision to settle your score with Britain on our shores.
            How misguided your yardstick of measurement of well-educated refers only to the advancement of technology. ( I will give you that Americans are far more willing to take risks than we are.) We are a far better educated populace. And the world is aware of how lacking the US educational system is. And that’s just the basics. The internet is chock-full of Americans who cannot spell and are not capable of adhering to grammatical rules. More pervasive is their lack of knowledge about any other country. In Canada we were taught about the entire word along with our own country. About keeping your military hardware-reminds me of someone on the net who thought it just hilarious that our navy only had one ship. To both of you I say- just why do we need more than one ship or your weapons? Our foreign policies don’t aggravate or wind up killing civilians of other countries, unlike yours. Our country is not perfect we have our issues as well. But somehow our quality of life just seems better.
            You’re no longer the super power you once were. China and Russia are poised to move in. The humility will do you good. You know how the world perceives us as the same people because we share real estate? Well the proof will be in the pudding when all the Canadians abandon their long-time vacation haven Cuba. We and the British have supported their economy for decades and have a positive relationship with the natives. The Cubans won’t recognize the harbinger that our leaving the island is. Well not until you Americans descend upon the island and treat everyone with discourtesy and disdain and flaunt your standard – issue sense of entitlement. (I used to work on a major cruise ship where we would draw straws as to who would HAVE to serve the Americans. How telling is that?) Your country is deeply divided and decaying. And here you go electing a buffoon who does not believe in climate change (a hoax created by China?!!) and has absolutely no clue as to how his decisions will impact other countries. He has been invited to visit here. You should not be surprised to learn there will be protest marches here as well. He will wreak havoc on our lives. And we have the well-educated American populace to thank for that!

          • Warren Mundell

            And in Asia they call it the “American War”.

          • Chris Johnson

            There were people who thought of themselves as Canadians and called themselves Canadians before there was a country called Canada, just as there were people who thought of themselves as Americans before the revolution. A number of historians have described the War of 1812 as the “Canadian Revolution” because in it, our ancestors declared their Independence, from you. A small minority fought on the American side, but the great majority of Upper and Lower Canadians, English and French speaking alike, fought on the British side.

          • reg

            do not forget us who are from New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. We fought like hell as well along with Upper and Lower Canada

          • vlad the impaler

            no one said you didnt ,i myself think claude lemieux was the toughest player in nhl history.b,hessians and red coats sacked the white house.yes they fought for canada ,but its kinda like when a kenyan immigrant supposingly american wins the boston marathon.it dont really count.americans are proud and with the world hating on us we thought maybe our neighbors were diffrent.but obviously not from the remarks most of which are probably made by immigrants who arent canadian at all,just misplaced carpetbaggers.

          • Nathalie Connor

            OMG! You are digging your own grave here my friend.If a Kenyan immigrant wins the Boston Marathon. it does not really count? You can’t be serious! Tell him that! Why would it not count? Ponder this: You thought your neighbours would be different. Why when we are the ones who are first impacted by your culture? Gun violence has now be exported north. You assume incorrectly that it’s new immigrants commenting on here. I am an old stock immigrant whose ancestors arrived with Samuel de Champlain. You make many assertions that are just plain wrong or of the wall. How can you be taken seriously?

          • Craig Stewart

            dweeb

          • Isaac

            You love your country… congratulations. Canada is ahead of the US in everything, save military spending and national debt. The stats speak for themselves, we have longer life spans, MUCH less obesity, higher average education, free Healthcare just to name a few. I’ve never heard a Canadian go around bragging about any of that, so to call us full of ourselves? I think you have made a mistake.

          • vlad the impaler

            canadians are white people asshole you dont count.

          • Nathalie Connor

            “Canadians are white people” Since when?

          • Kevin Tysick

            Fitting that you should get your knowledge about it from a book called “The War of 1812: for Dummies”.

            ‘Nuff said.

            And don’t bother to type your answers to us. We can all hear your loud mouth way up here.

          • reg

            School, that is your problem, you went to American Schools. the Propaganda war starts in grade 1.

          • Elizabeth Freeman

            The British and Canadians were badly outnumbered by the Americans. As the Americans made their plans, it became obvious that their easiest objective would be Upper Canada. The Maritime provinces were protected by British sea power and Lower Canada was protected by its remoteness and by the fortress of Québec. But Upper Canada would seem an easy target. The population was predominantly American and the province was lightly defended.

            However, the badly outnumbered British were in fact better prepared than the Americans knew. The 41st Regiment of British regulars had been reinforced. The Provincial Marine controlled Lake Ontario. Much of the preparation was thanks to the prescience of Major-General Sir Isaac Brock,administrator of Upper Canada. Brock had a thorough grasp of the challenges of the upcoming conflict and for the 8 months prior to the war he pushed forward defence measures in every possible way. Perhaps most importantly, Brock developed a policy towards making allies of the First Nations.

            Like most commanders, Brock was dissatisfied by the number of troops at his disposal, with only some 1600 regulars in the province. But he was not prepared to simply wait passively for the Americans to act. He believed that a bold military stroke would galvanize the population and encourage the First Nations to come to his side. This he accomplished with the quick and bloodless capture of a key US post at Michilimackinac Island in Lake Huron, on 17 July. When he arrived at Amherstburg, Brock found that the American invasion under the bombastic General William Hull had already been withdrawn. With the great Shawnee chief Tecumseh at his side he boldly demanded that Hull surrender Detroit, which the hapless general did on 16 August, in effect giving the British control of Michigan territory and the Upper Mississippi.

            At this point Thomas Jefferson’s remark that the capture of Canada was “a mere matter of marching” returned to haunt Washington. Having lost one army at Detroit, the Americans lost another at Queenston Heights, 13 October, after their militia stood on its constitutional guarantee and refused to cross into Canada. But Brock was killed – an irreparable loss. A new American army under William Henry Harrison struggled up from Kentucky to try to retake Detroit. One wing was so badly mauled at Frenchtown, 22 Jan 1813, by a force of British, Canadians and First Nations under Lieutenant-Colonel Henry Procter, that further attempts at invasion that winter were abandoned. The only Americans in Canada were prisoners of war.

            With the death of Brock, British strategy was to act defensively and allow the invaders to make mistakes. Governor Sir George Prevost husbanded his thin forces carefully, keeping a strong garrison at Québec and sending reinforcements only when he got them. As the campaign of 1813 opened, the invaders determined to seize Kingston to cut the link between Upper and Lower Canada. But a weakness of resolve diverted the attack to the lesser prize of York [Toronto]. The Americans briefly occupied the town, burning the public buildings and seizing valuable naval supplies destined for Lake Erie; but the British, by burning their half-completed warship, frustrated the enemy’s plan to appropriate it and change the balance of naval power on Lake Ontario. Neither side totally controlled that lake for the balance of the war.

            The Americans abandoned York and on 27 May 1813 their fleet seized Fort George at the mouth of the Niagara River. While this period was the bleakest of the war for the British, the military situation was not irretrievable. The Americans did not press the advantages of their success, particularly in not keeping General John Vincent and his army from Fort George on the run. On the night of 5 June 1813, Vincent’s men turned on their pursuers at Stoney Creek. In a fierce battle the Americans were dislodged, had two generals captured and retired dispirited towards Niagara. The Americans suffered another defeat three weeks later at Beaver Dams, where some 600 men were captured by a force of First Nations. Finally, worn down by sickness, desertion, and the departure of short-term soldiers, the American command evacuated Fort George on 10 December and quit Canada. On leaving, the militia burned the town of Newark (Niagara-on-the-Lake), an act that drove the British to brutal retaliation at Buffalo. These incendiary reprisals continued until Washington itself was burned by the British the following August.

          • Halifax POV

            Very interesting details. Some if it sounded familiar from many years ago, having once read Lady Edgar’s “General Brock” (Volume 9 from the series “The Maker’s of Canada”). I still have a few volumes in that set left to read.

          • Paolo Zambito

            I am real sorry, and I do not intend to tell you that you’re wrong.

            You right when you state that today’s Canada didn’t exist before 1867. It’s because the new constitution was not adopted then. However, there were two distinct countries back then Upper and Lower Canada. They were independent from each other then but they both had a government and a territory with inhabitants.

            The US did in fact try to take the north, but they realised it was impossible because the land was too harsh. As stage as it may sound, back then the French Canadians sided with the British.

            If you really are interested in Canadian History, you can contact me. Just know that saying that Canada did not exist in the sense that there were no political institution called a State, is false. Back then, the constitution was called “The constitutional act” and it introduced one of the first parliament in contemporary history. Here in Quebec were often boast about the fact that we are one of the oldest democracy in the world. Before even than the Canadian democracy (Québec is older than today’s Canada).

            Our democracy dates back to 1791.

          • Christopher Gaudry

            Well put

          • Nathalie Connor

            I must disagree. I have pre-1867 maps entitled “The Province of Canada” with Upper and Lower parts of the province.

          • Reid King

            I believe that if you check your war of 1812 for dummies you will find it was written by an American with the same wrong opinion as you seem to have. No Matter..all bantering aside..you lost a war. Not to worry, you have won many since. But now you have us as an ali .

          • Nathalie Connor

            Jean Chrétien would beg to differ on the ally card. When push comes to shove, we can and will say NO.

          • Richard Hall

            My God, what a one-sided view of the conflict. it’s no wonder Americans are so popular the world over. And no, it’s not to do with envy! Any society that thinks lethal weapons are fine and abortion isn’t is welcome to itself. Good luck.

          • T Red Fisher Bolton

            but you ARE an expert, and you WERE there, so by replacing intelligence with insult, you are another sore “loser”…get a grip it was just a “Satire” if you want to fight join the ARMY. Peace out.

          • Christopher Gaudry

            If anyone is delusional it is you my friend. You reek of arrogance. No doubt your book War of 1812 was written By an American for Americans, in big letters so you could read your amusing little fairytale. The war of 1812 was the result of the British proclaiming all neutral ships must be licenced in order to sail into European waters resulting in US ships being inspected for contraband and stopping the US from trading in Europe. These policies were result of the Napoleonic Wars. This took place outside your borders so I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that since the US is the center of the universe. Canada owes its present shape to negotiations that grew out of the peace, while the war itself — or the myths created by the war — gave Canadians their first sense of community and laid the foundation for their future nationhood. To this extent the Canadians were the real winners of the War of 1812.The war was certainly a failure for the “War Hawks,” who coveted the annexation of Canada — the war proved that this was not militarily feasible. The conclusions that the war was a “second war of independence” or a war of honour and respect are less easy to judge. We are better in hockey too so we gave you basketball and baseball so you would’nt get hurt. Lmfao

          • Fred Blogs

            You are wrong about the reason for the start of war. The Americans started the war because of a British practice of” impressment” . The Americans stated that all they needed to do to take over Canada was to “March” They found out it wasn’t going to be that easy. Regardless of the fact that Canada was a colony, at the time, does not mean that residents had no loyalty to their developing country. In the final analysis , America started a war with the intention of grabbing Canada, and ended it gaining almost nothing at all . I would call that a stalemate, not a victory.
            Americans burned the first parliament buildings in Canada, and , in turn, had downtown Washington burned to the ground, including the White House.
            Thousands died , on both sides, and nothing was gained, the borders remained the same, as if there had never been a war. “Impressment” became a non issue after the war, with the British victory over Napoleon, and was not even mentioned in the Peace Treaty documents.

          • Nathalie Connor

            That’s the version I was familiar with as well.

          • vlad the impaler

            they make me want to punch their grinning faces.

          • Evan Asselstine

            Kind of like the American delusion that they won World War 2. D-Day landed on the easiest beach, got slaughtered because they couldn’t find their butt with both hands. Got their heads handed to them in the Battle of the Bulge. Lost in Vietnam, nearly lost in Korea, but mostly Americans are just arrogant.

          • reg

            what is also interesting in the Anthem is that the British did not want to take the fort, but rather just to destroy it. The British with us Canadians did just that. Baltimore was just another inconvenience to the USA as was the destruction Washington and the White House days before. Write your stories USA but the truth is still out there. Baltimore was not an American Victory, rather a shit kicking, handed out by us to the USA

          • vlad the impaler

            lol you canadian losers won nothing the british red coats and hessians were the reason you won if you even did?there are no mentions of great canadians in the war of 1812,you were sitting on the bench.

          • Robert Beardsell

            Also, the melody of said US national anthem is in fact taken from a raunchy folk-song about rumpity-bumpity under the apple trees!

          • vlad the impaler

            its a british song you loser what is that on your avatar?grauation from retard u.rumbity bumbity up your ass phd my asshole ,probably excavating an old dump sight of native americans?fukn white loser all you college faggots.

          • Robert Beardsell

            I won’t even dignify that with a response, troll.

          • Evan Asselstine

            And the tune is from a drinking song.

          • Glen Armstrong

            In 1812 the Americans went to war with Upper Canada, a British Colony. It was the foundation of what is now Canada. I wonder if the American’s won the war of 1812, who burnt the White House, and why do we not fly the Stars and Stripes??? The American’s LOST. Please read some history.

          • Troy Livingstone

            Menu
            Home
            Canada won the War of 1812, U.S. historian admits

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            Postmedia News
            Sunday, Nov. 27, 2011

            A War of 1812 re-enactment at Fanshawe Pioneer Village in London, Ontario. Which side won the war has been long disputed. Geoff Robins/Postmedia News

            By Randy Boswell

            In a relatively rare admission for an American scholar, a leading U.S. historian who authored a provocative new tome about North American military conflicts states bluntly that Canada won the War of 1812.

            Johns Hopkins University professor Eliot Cohen, a senior adviser to former U.S. secretary of state Condoleezza Rice, writes in his just-published book Conquered Into Liberty that, “ultimately, Canada and Canadians won the War of 1812.”

            And Cohen acknowledges that, “Americans at the time, and, by and large, since, did not see matters that way.”

            The book also echoes a key message trumpeted by the federal Conservative government in recent weeks as it unveiled ambitious plans to commemorate the bicentennial of the War of 1812 over the next three years: that the successful fight by British, English- and French-Canadian and First Nations allies to resist would-be American conquerors — at battles such as Queenston Heights in Upper Canada and Chateauguay in Lower Canada — set the stage for the creation of a unified and independent Canada a half-century later.

            “If the conquest of (Canada) had not been an American objective when the war began, it surely had become such shortly after it opened,” Cohen argues in the book. “Not only did the colony remain intact: It had acquired heroes, British and French, and a narrative of plucky defense against foreign invasion, that helped carry it to nationhood.”

            In an interview with Postmedia News, Cohen observed that, “all countries have to have these myths — not in the sense of falsehoods, but really compelling stories that are, in fact, rooted in some kind of truth, even if they’re not the complete truth.

            “And the War of 1812 gives Canada that,” he continued. “It gives you some foundation myths. It gives you Laura Secord. It gives you heroes.”

            Cohen, who advised the Bush Administration on geopolitical strategy from 2007 to 2009, said the War of 1812 “was the last point at which the United States thought really seriously about trying to take Canada by force of arms.”

            It’s clear, he added, that “there were a lot of senior American leaders who thought the outcome of the war would be the forcible annexation of Canada — thinking, not entirely without reason, that there would be some segment of the (Canadian) population that would welcome that.”

            There were, in fact, deep roots for such thinking in the U.S. Rebel forces during the American War of Independence had launched a northward invasion — ultimately unsuccessful — nearly four decades before the War of 1812.

            In 1775, a rebel pamphlet distributed among Canadians in present-day Quebec warned that they would be “conquered into liberty” by the invading revolutionaries from the South, an oxymoronic appeal to join in the revolt against British rule, and which Cohen captured in the title of his book as a sentiment which still echoes in contemporary U.S. foreign policy.

            Subtitled “Two Centuries of Battles Along the Great Warpath that Made the American Way of War,” the 400-page survey of North American history from 1690 to 1871 contends that the national mindsets of the U.S. and Canada were profoundly and enduringly shaped by struggles over the land and water routes between Montreal and New York City, principally Lake Champlain, Lake George and the Hudson River.

            And while Cohen’s book highlights the fact that the U.S. won the principal War of 1812 clash in that crucial corridor — the Battle of Plattsburgh in September 1814 — he concludes that “the nominal causes for which (the Americans) had fought the war had advanced not an iota” by the time a peace treaty had been signed and hostilities ended in early 1815.

            U.S. forces “had failed in their objective of conquering Canada,” Cohen writes. “They had suffered humiliating defeats at the hands of numerically inferior enemies; the Royal Navy had driven American commerce from the seas; and American national finance had suffered severely.”

            But like Canada, which emerged victorious from the War of 1812 and more aware of itself as a potential nation, the U.S. salvaged a solid — even strengthened — sense of national identity, Cohen argues.

            “Some of this has to do with myth, understood as powerful stories that frame a deeper conception of one’s history,” he writes. “They clung to the victorious naval duels of the USS Constitution, the ‘bombs bursting in air’ over Fort McHenry, the fleet action on Lake Erie, the Battle of New Orleans … and — very much — Plattsburgh.”

            Even as late as the U.S. Civil War in the 1860s, Cohen said in the interview, a “substantial body of opinion” persisted among American political leaders “that sooner or later, Canadians will decide that they want to join the United States.”

            But, added Cohen, even the most ardent annexationists in the U.S. had come to believe by then that the absorption of the Canadian colonies by the United States would only happen “on the initiative of Canadians.”

          • Troy Livingstone

            So are you saying you’re more qualified to say who won the war of 1812 then Eliot Cohen

          • Chad Greenfield

            A lot of us are descendants from upper Canada, lower Canada, GB whatever you want to call it at the time. So it holds its own validity. Atleast we can have a beer and laugh about it now.

          • reg

            Sadly again if the USA won the War of 1812, there would not be a Canada to-day. The USA would be 7,000,000 sq miles big to-day. It is not. Also thank-you for you kindness in noting that we have done some mighty things in our day

          • Doupetrob

            Funny, I have an 1858 penny with CANADA on it.. so you are saying that US history before 1776 didn’t exist? Great logic there Sherlock.

          • brittany

            Lol! In November he celebrates British Pilgrim Thanksgiving.

          • Cliff

            The land now called Canada has been inhabited for millennia by various Aboriginal peoples. Beginning in the 15th century, British and French colonies were established on the Atlantic coast, with the first establishment of a region called “Canada” occurring in 1537.

          • Reid King

            You should google why your white house is called the Whitehouse.

          • Gregory Bezanson

            don’t be silly. British (including Canadian born men) burnt down the White house. British loyalists added to the already existing population of English and Europeans

          • Jeanette Vilcu

            I believe the reason the “white” house is called the White House is because they believe it to be a safe house…..same as why they wave the white flag.

          • Nathalie Connor

            After it was burnt down the only paint colour they had on hand was white! Nothing deeper than that!

          • Berta Jodoin

            Hey dummy this is the constitution but in the 2e constitution we were considered as Canasian in the french occupation we were canadian because Canadian was the term used to speak about the people that live in quebec at the time but now whole Canada

          • Nathalie Connor

            er, make that ‘Canadiens’.

          • Canada101

            Get your facts straight Canada did exist in 1812, maybe you should take Canadian native studies in order for you to realize it was indeed called Upper Canada, Lower Canada and Rupertsland…… When you know your facts maybe then you can have a valid argument I should know I just took Canadian Native studies in the 2014-2015 school year

          • Scooby Doo

            Yeah, and Americans can be oh so proud of the Viet Nam war, where you guys kicked their assess really hard, right? Or, what about WW2 when you guys didn’t even join in until Pearl Harbour was attacked. Come on.

          • jackflash1

            The provinces of Lower Canada and Upper Canada were combined as the United Province of Canada in 1841, when The Union Act of 1840 came into force. The Province of Lower Canada inherited the mixed set of French and English institutions that existed in the Province of Quebec during the 1763–91 period and which continued to exist later in Canada-East (1841–67) and ultimately in the current Province of Quebec (since 1867). In any case, while it was a wild time back then Canada existed in about the same rugged form as America did.

        • Cristina Diana

          Seriously. Look at Jonathan Sewall and Jonathan Sewell. British attorney general of Massachusetts, and his son was Chief Justice of Lower Canada. His son Stephen was later solicitor general. They were also family with the Neilsons who have an extensive long lived military history and are descendants of royalty and viking blood. The smartest and strongest Americans left for a reason.

        • vlad the impaler

          lol

      • you need some serious schooling when it comes to history

      • Andy Moon

        Well, then you’re saying that the British, French Canadians and aboriginals didn’t fight together and never received the nickname “Canadiens”? (Yes, it’s spelled that way) Good sir, Canada had its own organized army at the time.

      • BenjaminJGrimm

        The reason the White house is white is because the residents of York (now Toronto) exacted revenge on the pillaging and thieving American “soldiers” that looted and burned their homes believing that the Canadian soldiers at Fort York had unleashed a secret doomsday weapon upon the invading force (the commander blew the weapons depot that held 350 barrels of black powder, forcing an explosion through a 30-35 foot wide opening killing but leaving unmarked hundreds of American “soldiers”) upon arriving in Washington the Canadians burnt the White House to the ground and the Government at the time had to paint what remained white to hide the scorch marks, these weren’t British troops, but pissed off Canadians, so watch it.

      • Troy Livingstone

        Actually, if you look at a map of Canada from 1812 it clearly says Upper and Lower Canada. Regardless if we were a British colony at the time the country was still called Canada

      • Melo Gardener

        You crazy Americans, Canadians not only won the war of 1812, they also burned down your first White house and handed it back to you … lol lol and after you stole our Avro Arrow plane you’re not stealing anything again let alone our country or our oil…lol lol unless you want Canadians to burn your White house down a second time??? Hmmmm lol lol lol

        The Burning of Washington in 1814 was an attack during the War of 1812 between British forces and those of the United States of America. On August 24, 1814, after defeating the Americans at the Battle of Bladensburg, a British force led by Major General Robert Ross occupied Washington, D.C. and set fire to many public buildings, including the White House (known as the Presidential Mansion at the time), and the Capitol, as well as other facilities of the U.S. government.[2]

        The attack was in part a retaliation for the recent American destruction of Port Dover in Upper Canada. It marks the only time in U.S. history that Washington, D.C. has been occupied by a foreign force.

        President James Madison,

        The White House was burned by Britsh Troops in retaliation for the burning of Yorkton…
        The White House was burned in the War of 1812. Dolly Madison, wife of the President, was able to save the portrait of George Washington when she ran from the building. It was rebuilt and white paint was used to cover the damage from the fire. Since then it has been called the White House.
        The British invasion of Washington D.C., in the summer of 1814 was a defining moment in the coming-of-age of the United States. The British torched the capitol, the White House, and many other public builings, setting off an inferno that illuminated the countryside for miles and forced President James Madison to gallop out of town while his wife, Dolly, stayed behind to rescue a life-size portrait of George Washington from the flames.

      • Melo Gardener

        You don’t know much buddy…. this is real history and funny as anything…you attacked Canada run by the Brits and we stopped you and burned your White house down and a few other things and you don’t know it . Now why doesn’t that surprize me????

      • reg

        It was the British Officer, The Canadian soldier, The Canadian First Nations Peoples, and it was also the Canadian Spirit that defended our land against the aggression of the USA. We actually beat you all. We a land that was not even a Nation State Kicked you asses out of our land. Yep a bunch of hicks north of the Great Lakes, and a few British Officers threw you out on your all mighty ASSES. If you did win this 1812 war, there would be no Canada, but there is a Canada. There was also a few British Officers that had dinner in the White House, but we Canadians torched that sorry little mansion.

      • Moparman

        There was a Canada you better get your history right

      • vlad the impaler

        thank you.

    • USA!

      DUDE! I love you. You are amazing. 4 numbers and people go CRAZY! Love it.

      • Elizabeth Freeman

        He is a fucking asshole,

        • Renee Manzoor

          And didn’t you know that he’s trying so hard to reach his own ass to fuck himself coz his dick is so tiny? They say that eventually he will with all that money he’s got for a penis enlargement.

          • vlad the impaler

            hes going to fuck your colored asses all the way back to your shithole countries bitch.trump will slap you with nine inches of limp dick and you would love every minute of it you fukn traitor.

          • Renee Manzoor

            Go fucking impale yourself…oh wait, why do you need to do that cuz that asshole is gonna do it for you right? You racist Motherfucker, what do you know about my country? Your people are fleeing to us up here in Canada from fear of that redneck stinky shitass bully in your own back yard.
            By the way, I’ve seen you before on YouTube as well, trolling practically every person you could. I’ve even seen you pretending to back up black people on one post and then attacking them on another. Go get a fucking life….cuz you see, sucking Trump’s cock is not very nutritious in the long run.

        • cdnski12

          Donald’s re tum is direct wired to his brain & mouth … so he constantly spouts shit!

          • vlad the impaler

            look whos talking a piss on calling a billionaire basically an idiot,lol.well what does that make you ?a bigger loser,typical foul remark from another pea brained liberal with no dignity.

          • jackflash1

            Actually Donald likes being pissed on…like that crazy little German guy back in the 30’s, it’s a huge turn on for him. Back in the 70’s in the Meat Market it was rumored that it wasn’t that unusual to go into a bathroom at one of the gay SM bars late at night and see Donalds head tied to a urinal with a couple of big Russian dudes pissing all over him. Roy Cohn especially like to piss directly into his little mouth…it was their ‘thing’. Those were some wild and crazy years.

          • Hypocritesnotwelcome

            Trump is a birther conspiracy freak who has conned the dumbed down Americans

          • lexi

            Coming from the biggest fucking moron of them all. He’s not rich you fucking dip shit. He’s gone bankrupt 5 times and asked hilary for a small 5 millions dollar loan. So do tell me how he is rich you fucking pathetic moron.

    • Mikko Kivisto

      What about it? That was over 200 years ago.

      Anyways, I see below a debate where there are many getting it sort of right, but missing the mark on all sides.

      The “War of 1812” (which actually lasted until early 1815 but never mind), was fought within the context of the Napoleonic Wars in Europe. Great Britain was pissing off the Americans because of the Royal Navy’s policy of “impressment” of American citizens from US ships for conscription into the Royal Navy. They were also unhappy with Great Britain’s alleged support of the Indigenous tribes of the Ohio Valley, where the US wanted to settle. Thinking that Great Britain was weakened by their battles against Napoleon, and wanting to appear as a legitimate world power against Great Britain’s apparent bullying tactics, they concocted a scheme to invade the British North American colonies (specifically Upper and Lower Canada because they were more vulnerable than Nova Scotia).

      The American forces miscalculated Great Britain’s strength in the colonies, who were augmented by their Indigenous allies and Canadian militias. What they thought would be a cakewalk turned into an ugly, protracted war. Blows were traded by both sides; Great Britain gained an advantage by capturing Detroit, but the US countered by raiding York (now Toronto)–destroying the colonial legislature in the process, and later occupied the Niagara Region. Neither side was gaining any real ground.

      Once Great Britain defeated Napoleon, the US could see it was a matter of time before Great Britain would turn its full gaze on them. So, negotiations for a peace settlement began (after all, even Great Britain was tired of war). The war effectively ended in a draw, but both sides could save face and claim victory. It could be argued that the Indigenous peoples were the real losers: the promised sovereign nation they fought for was conveniently set aside during the peace talks.

      A couple other notes: it was true that there were some settlers in Upper Canada who initially were sympathetic with the US, but that soon changed after the American troops burned their crops. It was also true that Canada as a sovereign entity did not exist until 1867, but that doesn’t make those early settlers any less Canadian; they formed the nucleus of what would become the Canadian identity, like the early American settlers did before the American Revolution.

      • Bernard Chabot

        Just to add a few things from the québécois point of view, At that time canadien designated the french settlers of Lower Canada, the same guys who fought (and lost) the french and indian wars against the British colonies in 1754-1760. They were indifferent to the independence of the USA despite invitations from the congress. They fought with the British at Chateauguay against the Americans in 1813. What is funny is that part of the food supply of the British army came from Vermont because New Englanders were against this war 🙂

        • Evan Asselstine

          And, Might I add, the Quebecois did a great job of it and seemed to enjoy kicking American butt. lol

          • vlad the impaler

            keep lying to yourself you french fag.

          • Evan Asselstine

            And of course the American resorts to his favorite way to prove he is right: name calling. Unfortunately I am not from Quebec, I have no French blood in me and it was British forces augmented by french Canadians, Empire Loyalists and aboriginals that kicked the US forces out of Canada, invaded America and burnt their capital and the white house to the ground.
            And I am in total agreement with Trump we need a wall between Canada and United States we need to keep people like Vlad south of the border where they can simply destroy themselves.

          • Stormin’ Norman

            We can keep all of our military equipment like our F-18s, upcoming F-35s, and Armalite small arms south of the border too if you’d like. That way you’d have to manufacture your own equipment or perhaps buy arms from the French or British.

          • Rowland Fell

            Shesh the ignorance you’re displaying. We build most of our own riles C8, C7 through colt Canada. We also purchase some weapons from Belgium, UK, Netherlands, Germany more often than we do from the States. Get a clue.

          • Shit, the sniveling cherry picking you’re displaying. Most of your air defense aircraft is American made. And the replacement ones are also going to be American. But thanks for completely ignoring that topic in favor of your C7s which are based on American armalites. Unless you want to mention your Griffons which are still based on The US Huey. Half of your anti-armor and rocket explosives are American. I’ll tell you what though your armor and ground support is yours with German armor as the vanguard. However I wouldn’t want to throw Leopards up against a bunch of Russian CAS. Those vatnik FrogFoots can hold a nasty surprise.

          • Rowland Fell

            Considering you’ve probably never served in ANY army (I doubt you can open a fridge door without breathing heavy), yet somehow think because you did some google searches it makes you an expert or even knowledgeable about our weapons. You’ve clearly forgotten your previous post, we do make our own weapons, and we do shop from other nations. Like YOU have any authority to refuse our nation what it does purchase from America. LOL having seen so many of your posts clearly you’re just trollling for reactions.

          • Please don’t front to me with your condescending obnoxious, “check out my insight” bullshit. At least my fridge has something inside of it other than dildos and maple syrup. I have not forgotten my previous post. My previous post stated to another moose-humping troll that if he wants all Americans out, we can also keep all our aircraft and other small arms south of the border too.

            If you want to mouth of about people having authority to refuse, then maybe you should set your fellow canucklehead straight about having the authority to refuse all Americans from his nation. Grow up. Funny thing is your post merely made a personal attack instead of addressing the numerous things I mentioned in my previous one.

            And if you were able to muster all 6 of your braincells, not only would you see the entire story you’re posting on was itself a trolling satire, so please don’t accuse other people responding clearly of trolling. Too bad you’re much too much of a passive aggressive twat to look from your eyes instead of down your nose.

          • Rowland Fell

            LOL yep a civilian and one angry troll. Your life must really suck to spend hours online arguing and insulting people. Think of all the things you could accomplish if you used that energy to improve your life instead of rotting away in a room. I’m gonna enjoying wasting your time.

          • And yet again you’re ass has shown NOTHING. Literally NOTHING in your post. All you did was resort to name calling/personal attacks with no real evidence to the contrary of what was brought up in my last post. Yeah because just throwing around the word “troll” means you don’t have to address anything anymore right? Shut up. I’ve spoken with your types before and when you run out of argument you turn back into 12 year old kids, you lie, or you just start accusing your opponent of everything YOU do (eg being fat, trolling, wasting, etc).

            Why don’t you tell me otherwise instead acting so autistic? If you said something to the effect of Your statement is not true because when I was in the CAF, we had more squadrons of Rafales and Typhoons. Then we can get a dialogue going. Instead you just wanted to be twat and mouth off “Hurr ur liek all wrong cuz ur sum fat guy eh”.

            But let’s discuss it, you primarily use F-18s. Well over 100 of them were built and they are used as your main fighter/attack aircraft. And when they’re going to be replaced, they’re going to be refitted with Lightnings. Even most of your heavy transports are American. The only thing you’ve got are the lighter troop transports like the Griffon, which is again, based on the Huey.

          • Rowland Fell

            I’ve seen your insulting posts everywhere and I did bring to your attention that most of our equipment is built here in Canada and purchased through European allies.Clearly you are not here to discuss topics, you are here to be right even when you’re wrong, you are here to insult and enjoy getting reactions from people. Why would I discuss anything with you? Wish I was there to see the vein in head head pulsing while screaming form the basement “Mom they’re telling me i’m wrong”.

          • Where’s everywhere? You’ve seen me return in kind the troll posts other people made. One could say the same about you who gets butthurt when evidence is provided. Even then you’re not the SATIRATRIBUNE police. Who hired you as their junior mod associate? Shit even in the name of the site it’s clearly saying it’s Satirical in nature, but you seem to still get your panties in a bunch over that. I guess you’re going to call me a troll again huh? As for being here to insult and enjoy getting reactions; like I said it’s what YOU are doing. I’ve talked with Canadians before, they will accuse you of the very faulty things they do in debate.

            As for what the topic in my return post, in which you took the most stress to, would you like us to keep our Aircraft down here as well? Since the troll you were defending wants all Americans away, wouldn’t that mean our aircraft too? (Even if we just parted with our small arms design which are basically armalite weapons with green handgaurds). Would you purchase Typhoons now? There’s a reason they you use American aircraft for strategic sense. But in the case of you and troll friend he wants to forgo all of that because he’s pissy at American tourists……really moron?

            You could build your own fighter designs but that would cost a fuckton of money. Know how much Russia spent on it’s SUs? How much we spent on our Raptors and 35s?

          • Rowland Fell

            LOL that is a lot of crying and whining. I haven’t defended anyone only pointed out that we already purchase and build our own weapons, also that your post is incorrect and ignorant. I’m always impressed when people boast knowledge on topics based off internet searches rather than actual experience. We did build our own plane it was called the Avro arrow and the US had their little slave Diefenbaker cancel it out of fear. Please continue with your rant, I am enjoying watching you waste time and energy.

          • Oh hey look everyone more shitposting. Not just any shitposting but the kind of pure fecal matter that only a Cuntandian can spew. You spent all this time whoring over my comment and now you’re accusing me of crying? Do me a favor kid, just carry a bucket under your snatch so that way you can catch all the menstrual waste that leave everywhere you go.

            But hey I got to congratulate you on being such a fuckwit ingeniously countering my earlier statement (It only took you a dozen posts) about the whole aircraft thing. I mean who doesn’t think that a 2nd-early 3rd Generation aircraft developed around the time of the Delta Dart can challenge 5th generation SU-35s and PAK FAs?

            But wait….because you built your own plane, that is not in use, never was used, and is by now a dinosaur, you just totally eliminated my jab at you not needing our aircraft. So what would be your back up plan then? “Look buddeh, Russia sending over hordes of Sukhois and Mig29s! We better scramble in the those 3 prototype planes we made back in the 60s. That’ll show em eh?

            Sorry buy you’re a cunt.

          • Rowland Fell

            Would you like a pacifier and a change of diapers? The amusing part is that you can’t stop LOL.

          • >Get’s utterly destroyed in debate
            >resorts to shitposting and Damage Control

            No thanks, I don’t like that Canadian pacifier brand you’re using right now. You know the one where the sucking end is shaped like a dick.

          • Rowland Fell

            I bet you’ve sucked alot of dick. Mom must have been a good teacher……how else would you pay the bills. The best part is that you can’t stop posting because you must have the last word LMAO.

          • *snore*
            I do enjoy having my penis slurped on (only not by you as you might get too greedy). I often pay the bills too by being on top of your wife. The desperate sluts like her pay the most.

            But in all seriousness, to everyone else listening, none of this bullshit Canadacunts pull can surprise me. It’s a well known fact that once Canadians run out of steam in their arguments or are outed for falling short, they turn into rabid squealing children. The ones under 50 are insufferable as people if you remotely challenge their fake “moral superiority”. Ever since a Canadian interacted with school or their media they have engrained that “Canadians can never be wrong” and that “you are morally superior to Americans”. It’s a bad lesson in life as you grow up thinking you can never do any evil. This means you can lie, you can be a piece of shit, you can be irritating, and act like a fool and you never have to take responsibility for it.

          • Rowland Fell

            Aww what’s the matter? I bet you start your day by getting your pet to lick peanut butter off your genitalia LOL.

          • I thought your wife was my favorite pet. But she uses whip cream on my bell end, not peanut butter.

          • Rowland Fell

            Bell end is a very UK expression are you certain you’re a yank? or are you some socially awkward council house moron pretending to be one? I love how you try to fish for info about me. You can’t get me mad little boy i’m here to waste your time.

          • Why would anyone want to fish for info about you? Are you that much of a pretentious cunt? Or is it something that you’re trying to do on me, but like a typical Cuntadian shitposter, you’re merely accusing your opponent of what you’re doing right now.

            It’s like looking at dog shit on the sidewalk. Look it’s dogshit. Ok…let me keep walking. You’re proof drunken hobos can procreate by buttfucking a moose. Ok…let me keep walking.

          • Rowland Fell

            LMAO another post you are a terrible troll. Don’t worry there’s still time for you to check eBay and see if they have a life for sale.

          • I can’t, I’m on craigslist right now checking out all the sexual services advertized by your wife and mom. I’m interested in purchasing her discount counter-clockwise rimjob.

          • Rowland Fell

            If people ever put a price tag on ignorance, I want drilling rights to your head. You seem to be very obsessed with penises and assholes it’s ok for you to come out of the closet.

          • I am very proud of my thick erect veiny penis. I am also flattered that you talk so much about it. I can give you some dick pics for the road. But you may need to check on your wife’s mobile device for them first.

          • Rowland Fell

            LOL another post you’re not very bright bright huh? Only a child with a tic tac between his legs has the need to embellish their equipment. Hmm you must be related to #FuckfaceVonClownstick.

          • Nope sorry, not into children. Must be a Canadacunt thing. You at least have to be 19 to be penetrated by my man meat. In other news I do remember FuckfacevonClowstick. It was a pet name I gave your wife whenever I face fucked her balls deep. My nick was #CaptainBedCrusherST.CuntDestroyer. Every time you would film me on top of your wife, we gave you the pet name Sir CuckoldDeLaBallsOnChin II.

          • Rowland Fell

            You need better material you’ve posted the same insults repeatedly on many pages can you say DERP? LOL. Think i might start posting some educational information to help you.https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/troll

          • No but I can say Autism, ADHD, Borderline Personality disorder, and NPD, because motherfucker you’ve got all of the above. I mean shit kid, all the citizens under 50 in your country really need that socialized healthcare. Because it’s going to be a hell of a lot of years with shrinks, short buses, mental health studies to get your brains even resembling something of the average adult.

          • Rowland Fell

            Ah yes google search makes you an expert and knowledgeable LOL https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/ignorance

          • >“You need better material you’ve posted the same insults repeatedly on many pages”
            >“google search makes you an expert and knowledgeable”
            >“because you did some google searches it makes you an expert or even knowledgeable”

            Who writes all of your comments? The same guy who writes Hillary Clinton’s speeches?

            Anyway I got some people you might want to see. They’re right up your alley. I got to get you guys together. I’ll leave a link later.

          • Rowland Fell

            Hey look its your girlfriend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheep

          • You illustrate my points about what I said to Canadians for me. The Americans are viewing this as well as Canadians. Hopefully they can learn what I’ve been saying.

            Kindly continue 🙂

          • Rowland Fell

            I plan on continuing because an idiot like you must have the last word. By all means bring friends if you feel insecure. Most likely other accounts you use to spew that dazzling intelligence LOL. Something for you to google. maudit tabarnak fils de pute.

          • Anony_Mouse58

            You shouldn’t. He’s clearly disturbed. You’re right, he’s not going to stop. What an absolutely distasteful person. Just give thanks you aren’t a self-loathing person like he is. I blocked him, and it may be time for you (and any other reasonable people) to do the same. Let him yell at himself.

          • Rowland Fell

            I actually enjoying watching him make an ass of himself. I’ve served with many Americans overseas and they would love to line up to kick his ass.

          • Anony_Mouse58

            Initially I felt the same, but seriously, do you think there is anything you could say to him to convince him what a pig he is? Just accept that there are people out there like him, and be thankful you don’t have to interact with them too often. I would just bet this guy is in a dozen other similar internet threads where he calls people names and tries to prove how smart he is. I would also bet he’s a loner, no self esteem, and is unemployable. Arguing on the internet is his life.

          • Rowland Fell

            Yes I noticed his numerous post with the same topic and insults. No just looking to waste his time and energy, he has that (always right) thinking there is no way to discuss topics someone like that.

          • Where you breastfed by your father, or was it just multiple episodes of people make fun of you because you were the goth kid who cut himself? Thank you for actually describing yourself and seemingly by-passing the child-like behavior of your fellow moosehumping invalids. That’s what we call damage control and projection. Your honeymoon can both be spent sucking your thumbs and sniffing your own farts.

            I’ll leave you to your shitposts where you make condescending drive by trolls while accusing others of being angry loners. Cut your wrists this time.

          • Rowland Fell

            Sadly disqus has become a haven for trolls and is not going to anything about it.

          • You only plan on continuing because like the average under-50 Canadian you suffer from the listed personality disorders, as I explained before. Every time you post, my point gets proven. I need people to see what Canadacunts really are like. You people have spread a false image of being good guys or nice guys, when in fact you’re little children with no credibility.

            You need the attention yes, but most of all, because you LOSE whatever debates there was, you now need to have the last word in order to hope to appear to have “won” something. Also as before you have a need to accuse others of what you’re doing thinking it will exonerate you from it. Another indicator of a personality disorder.

          • Rowland Fell

            The only nutjob is you, fake name,fake account spewing bullshit for reactions. You have no backbone, no life, the only useful contribution to your nation or humanity is to be recycled and converted to compost to grow food. What debate? All you did was post incorrect information without any actual experience.i’m sure you want to get back to your moonshine and livestock humping.

          • I’d call you triggered, but that’ll be like calling your mother a whore: obvious, redundant, and an understatement.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86f12d89519ca5c6fdece23d39aae7c90720126aaaeb2c793e004b754688b046.png

          • Rowland Fell

            when you can’t think post meme’s LOL. I’ve already seen your collection of repeatedly posted meme. I’m amazed as to how much of a loser you are.

          • Like I said friend, you have a personality disorder. Unfortunately your younger countrymen also have such personality disorders. Due to this they can’t/won’t reprove you, but instead will support stupid behavior that should otherwise be condemned. You’re a joke. Sorry.

          • Rowland Fell

            LOL are you still posting? boy did I call that one, you can’t stop can you? Please tell us all the great thing you’ve done in life, since you seem to suffer from delusions grandeur.

          • Slow day today on tumblr huh?

          • Chris

            Stormin Norman settle down I am a Dual citizen Trump supporter too. Unfortunately for Canadians they do not have anything but leftist media. They are a decent industrious kind and intelligent people. They just don’t have any media to call out the leftist asses

          • I can kind of get where you’re coming from with that. Even here it’s fairly dangerous to have that much input of one sided propaganda to go around unchecked, because then our very history gets rewritten. Eg: the famous “parties switched sides” myth.

          • I’m just calling them like I’m seeing them. I agree, if one’s media is full of leftist lies (and the liberals love to lie) that’s when it is upon the responsibility of the citizen to do his own research. When I grew up I was fed nothing but leftist lies, until I got down on searching for the truth itself. That’s how the leftist scumbags win, they over promote a false story, get everyone to accept it, and have the citizens fight against the ones who stand up. This goes on in America and Canada.

          • Chris

            Couldn’t have said it better myself it’s fucking frustrating isn’t it!!

          • Rowland Fell

            Well google is the basis of all your information, because your dumb you require repetition.

          • I’m big fat doodie head and I have a big butt. Anyway, just keep going. I need to show this to other people.

            Keep in mind ya’ll this isn’t the first one like this. But primarily the ones like this guy come from Canada. Its an international trade secret.

          • Anony_Mouse58

            And you’re an angry, arrogant asshole. Wow, why not let it die already, this thing was supposed to be fun, satire, not something to get all worked up about. You sound like you need a shrink. And I say this knowing it will result in another neverending string of vitriolic responses from you, so I will turn off notifications in advance of that. Go outside and get some air. Jesus.

          • You’re an angry arrogant asshole. Wait scratch that, you’re more of a insufferable bleeding cunt. An asshole would at least be witty, relevant, or remain mature about certain things. You’re just a vagina. The good news is maple syrup makes great ointment for a samefag bitch showing that much butthurt like yourself. But thanks for letting me know how the site was satire even though I posted this to your alt account Rowland:
            “Shit even in the name of the site it’s clearly saying it’s Satirical in nature, but you seem to still get your panties in a bunch over that.”

            Thanks for showing how much I offended you with my comments.

            “I say this knowing it will result in another neverending string of vitriolic responses from you, so I will turn off notifications in advance of that.”

            In other words you’re like the idiot from Dumb and Dumber who puts his fingers in ears and goes “la la la la”.

            Get a job. Grow up. Commit suicide.

          • Hypocritesnotwelcome

            Don’t just keep them. Shove them up your ass

          • I already got your wife’s tongue in my ass. How should I fit anything else?

          • Hypocritesnotwelcome

            Really? I am a married gay man.. Nice to meet another gay . Take your tongue out of my male wife’s a^^ ok?

          • Oh hey look everyone a Canadian who’s also a fag. That’s like “saying wet water”. And sorry to your disappointment I don’t pleasure men’s asses. But I do sit on the faces of annoying Canadian whenever I have to shit. Speaking of which, lay down will ya. I have to go real bad.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Wow dude!!! You got some serious issues. Have you ever considered therapy? Some anger management? Where is all this misplaced anger coming from? Did some Canadian kids beat you up when you were little or something? And what’s your problem with gay people. You’re a very prejudiced individual.

          • The only thing Canadians can beat is somebody’s rigid cock all over their face. And they do. Take a look at your average canadian liberal complaining about everything under the sun. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e2c89afdb33b118a4d3a2257fd29af805a1d2a3ca16af826b0e07ecee9b97dec.gif

            Also, flamboyant gays should be beaten to death almost as much as Transexuals. All they do si decay society and offer nothing but diseases that leak into the straight population via bisexuals. Trannies by default, like pedos, should be given lethal injections. That is all.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know? You seem awfully obsessed with cocks. You use that word a lot!!! Are you sure you’re not a closet homosexual? Where are you from anyways? No let me guess. Texas? I’m right ain’t I? Do you drive a big pick up truck? And own an obsessive amount of guns? You do don’t you? Are you a proud member of the NRA? YEP!!!

          • I have plenty of homosexuals chained in my closet. Every now and then I will beat them with lead pipes and march one or two out to the slaughter house. The meat I’d use to make a profit for sale on the cat & dog food market.

            Owning guns isn’t a crime or something to be ashamed of. It’s something that should be a requirement in my eyes for any citizen who isn’t a jungle bunny or has a bad criminal record.

            But what’s you’re butthurt with Texas? Why would you take the chance to randomly insult them despite my location being clearly posted? I guess Canadians have so much Chinese semen in their eyes that they can’t see a profile. You shouldn’t insult Texas either because like you, they’re also someone who tries to act like the special snowflake. The only difference is their Jessica Simpson tits are more natural than your firmer Pamela Anderson boobs.

            Nevertheless I’d openly stick my dick between both with pleasure.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You’re a jackass dude!!! Canada doesn’t act like we’re special. That’s just the fucking French, and you’re right about them and Texas having massive ego issue. However Quebec can go fuck themselves along with Texas. You sound Texan though. You sure have a big enough mouth to be one, the French have big mouths too you know? And FYI not all Canadians are Liberal OK. I’m no fucking Liberal. Trudeau is fucking our country right up the ass. He only got in because his daddy was prime minister. And Kathleen Wynn that’s our premere here in Ontario, is another liberal bitch, who only got in cause the last one was forced to step down for ripping off the tax payers, and she’s fucking worse. I don’t know what you’re yaking about with China and Canada though. I really don’t care for Trump, but what he’s doing with China is great. About time someone stood up to them.

          • Consider yourself Triggered. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/84bd4101f3395a21984a5aa7312034fc032cedc434f5c8f68d5b18be5a631558.jpg

            Before you start bashing on the French, know that they are special in a way. You hate the Texans because they’re more masculine than you, and you hate the French because they’re more unique and hotter than you. You’re full of insecurities Canada. You may need to grow up.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Are you seriously lecturing me on being a biggot? You’re the homophobe!!! You’re the one who hates all other countries. Oh!! Except the French. I’m sorry are you French? Does that make you a real American than? Seriously dude. Canada is better off than the U.S we got our problems. But look at your social issues compared to ours. We can at least walk our streets without fear of getting shot. We can get sick and not have to worry about declaring bankruptcy. How about you?

          • Wrong, my irate little whore. I am not a homophobe. The term homophobia means an irrational fear of homosexuals. I however feel they are utterly disgusting and need to be rid from society. Big difference. Since you hate the state of Texas simply because you are jealous of them, does that make you a Texaphobe? Since you hate the French because they get pussy and have lots of hot women, does that make you a Frankophobe?

            When did I say I hated “all other countries”? I just hate yours. Canada doesn’t represent the rest of the world. It just represents Canada. Or you can you not read due to having 5 brain cells? Being interested in French culture is something many people in history were from many different nations.

            In America we can also walk our streets without fear of getting shot. The most Right Wing communities in the states are usually the safest. I can’t say the same about some parts of Toronto, where it can be a shithouse as well. I can also get sick without declaring bankruptcy. (In America we don’t need doctors every time we catch a cold). Your healthcare isn’t really all that. It only works because you have a small population and gather it from taxes. I’ll prefer my healthcare where I live in the country that makes the hip replacements and such.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            How much would that hip replacement cost you if you needed it? $100000? Do you know how much it would cost me? $0 I’m not jealous of Texas nor do I hate them, I pity them. As for the French I don’t hate the French in general, just Quebec. And Justin Trudeau. How many shooting are there in the United States each year? How many in Canada? Big difference. Why are your cops such thugs? I’m scared every time I encounter a American cop. I’m never scared of our cops.

          • I wouldn’t know how much it costs because I don’t need one. There for I don’t have to worry about shelling out taxes to pay for it, unlike you. But healthcare is least of my worries as I’m an American and have other shit on my plate. You would know if you weren’t such a land of bitches and whores. You’re literally crying about shit just to make yourself relevant. What are you a woman?

            I’m not even from Texas but I wonder why would you pity them? I bet your beta-White Knight cuckold who pities the Alpha male that takes your women. Texas has a decent economy. It’s not on par with New York or California, but still pretty good. They have great gun laws, great women in the Dallas area (Trust me this Jerseyboy knows), and they have the right to defend themselves because liberals get BTFO down there. Even as a state they have more definitive history & culture that resounds more than your entire nation (Except for the French parts). I’m not sure I however I would rate Toronto on par with Texas chicks from Dallas though. Even the men in Toronto don’t want Toronto women…they prefer other men.

            You know why there’s a big difference in shootings in the United States, for one there’s 350 million of us and about 50 million of you. I don’t think Canada has to worry about Elk busting caps.

            As for Cops, most likely they’ll be the ones to save your worthless liberal ass while you’re getting raped or shot by some nig-nog. But don’t worry, you can freely call them thug cops while you’re breathing a sigh of relief that Mike Brown didn’t bust your ass with a right hook.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Wow I’d like to see this Mike Brown try that one my dad!! He’d be on the ground with five different broken bones before he could blink!!! My dad’s a black belt in jujitsu asshole. I guess all can

          • FUCK…

            YOU…

          • JUSTIN Millar

            And what’s a nig nog? I’m not down with all this American slang. Is that a Crack athe black people? So you’re a homophobe and a racist? Jersey EH!!! Why don’t you just shut it? And go fuck Snooki in her muffin cabbage?

          • Oh look a Canadian that sounds like a high pitched squeak toy. Now you’re just shitposting. This is expected from every Canadian poster…EVERY last one, once they’ve run out of ammunition for their arguments which were shotty to begin with.

            Snooki is from New York. But I will fuck her because I love pussy. You however can enjoy being deep dicked on all fours by the Bear you find from your Toronto night club.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I don’t live anywhere near Toronto. But keep it coming muff cabbage!!! Now I know why you’re so angry though. You’re New York little bitch!!! What pisses you off more? The fact that you’re new Yorks little sister? Or that Jersey is the only thing south park rips on more than Canada? And don’t even try using this back against me!!! Cause I love south park. It can rip on us all it wants. Do you guys really wear those gay fucking hair styles. Shit you got some nerve being from Jersey, and picking on guys. I don’t know who has more gays. Jersey or Texas. You are a serious catch 22 dude!!! You’re a jersey fag. But hate your own kind. Interesting.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know something else? Americans are a bunch of unpatriotic sons of bitchs!!! You have no respect for your commander and chief. Regardless of who it is. Your country was founded on an act of treason. On every street of almost every household in Canada you’ll see the Canadian flag. Many fly the British flag too, as we are part of the British Commonwealth. I’ve driven down many American streets without seeing one American flag. You constantly bash your head of state. And yes I don’t like Trudeau, but he isn’t our head of state. The Queen is.

          • This is supposed to make me feel bad that we kicked out the British crown? The fuck I need with her old ass when we’ve got a Slovenian model as our first lady. You lost all credibility with the “muh dads a Brazilian jiu jitsu black belt.”

            But anyway, here’s to your Queen. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b5f43c0c739194de4a3ae8185ad2741bdc0ac7ce9ad71403f4feed9c81f96e3a.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Yeah. Your and my son clearly never left high-school. You’re both punks. Grow the fucking up. How old are you? My son is a 27 year old drunken ass hole. Are you still 12? Stormen Norman? Or are you as big a loser as Justin? Seriously man. Grow up. Stop pestering people on the Internet. It only proves what a lame sob you are. Get a life.

          • Of course you canadafag son is a 27 year old asshole. He takes after his slut mom whom I’m talking to right now. I’m an American you dumb bitch, I can never be as big as a loser as you motherfuckers from moosehumpersville. Here’s an idea, if you and your son got nothing to say or can’t take SATIRE then get your fat mustached ass off the internet and go shovel shit or whatever they do for money up there.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue. Or are you on all fours taking it up the ass from one of those crazy jersey house wife’s. What do you say to the doctor when the Dildo she straps on and does you with gets stuck up your ass? Or is that just common place in jersey?

          • >”What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue.”
            No dammit, your mom’s tits do. But yeah I do love getting my ass licked, but no house wives, only single Canadian sluts like your sister.

            >”What do you say to the doctor when the Dildo she straps on and does you
            with gets stuck up your ass? Or is that just common place in jersey?”

            Not really. In Jersey whenever we get a dildo stuck up our ass we find a random Canadian, pin them to floor, and then shit the dildo out in their mouth. We then start taking turns placing bets on how long they can keep the shit covered dildo in their mouth.

            I lost money betting on you.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Whoa man!!! That’s pretty shitty!!!
            I’ll just stop now before you make me barf!!! You jersey Boys really do have the shittest mouths!!!

          • You Canadian whores are so vanilla. You should wear your miniskirt and come dance at the Badabings and I’ll really show you some dirty dicks. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/650d2437c0646deab16b17e1d8e4a110a894a87d22e94d17818c0b71a74caa07.gif

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Yeah and you yanks aren’t a bunch of predictable asswipes. Gun toting war mongering hillbilly, deliverance style hillbillies. The world hates America asshole. You are the laughing stock of the world. We have allies all over the globe. So go fuck your self Adolph. Nobody is flying planes into the cn tower, how about the twin towers? Americans are the shit list of the world. Because of arrogant bastards like you. So congratulations.

          • You know, you just called your son a drunk asshole, but all that comes from your pretentious hippie yuppie boomer faggot’s ass. Your kids only turn out that way because you the parents are a bunch of stupid retards. You boomer cunts have sucked most of the resources and have the nerve to pass judgement because the economies you created were so much shit. But let me cut your little rant to pieces right now:

            -As a Canacuck, you’re in no position to call anyone a hillbilly. You’re literally full of only 4 types of people, Liberalfaggots, Hillbillies, more hillbillies, and then there are the French. I know you believe that you have some sort of moral superiority because your media says so, but that’s about as stupid as swallowing a load of my sperm because I told you that it was ice cream.

            -Americans don’t care about being loved by everyone because when you make a stand, you WILL make enemies. Know why Canada doesn’t have to worry about attacking people, because you utter cunts live next to America and can have us to do the dirty work for you. Or unless you think Canada is capable of staving of Russia with it’s navy of rowboat canoes. As for Canada being the laughing stock of the world….no one knows you really exist until you tell people “we’re just north of the US”. The very existence of America trolls you Cuntadians into a steep rage.

            -NO, you go fuck yourself and your mom Comrade Stalin. Nobody is flying planes into the CN tower because you’re a useless target. But believe me, if the Jihadist or even Chinese want to make a base out of Cuntadia, they can. Many are trained out of splinter cells in Canada, so excuse me if I don’t piss in your face for your boasting on how liberal you are to terrorists you Canada fag.

            In short, Canada faggots are like a liberal white house that has a police station of both sides of them. You don’t even have to lock your doors at night. You wave “Black lives matter” signs while cursing at the police who are arresting every thug that tried to break into your house.

            I’m American, so I’m more straight forward and not as articulate. In which case you can suck my dick you smug whore.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ae40a07ea77672f3263bf6a9344c353c69b5ce1646a0624c1d427fcb51e0824.png

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Yes you are a typical American.
            You have your head so far up your ass, you’re sucking shit right out of your Colan. You know nothing of Canada or any other country, other than what you read in the tabloids. You like all your fellow Americans, talk a ton of shit, but there’s not one ounce of fact truth or reality to your inane rant. America is a morale and cultural vacuum. You’re all racist bigoted rude shit talking as Sholes. Your current president is the poster child for how low America has sunk. He’s racist bigoted, has the basic low intellect of all Americans. He’s violating international law, on a daily bases. He’s costing America the few friends it does have left. As for your low opinion of us. We are the United States biggest trading partner. We could tell you Dicks to blow us, cut you off from all our oil, lumber water electricity and all our natural resources. We could just go trade with China instead. So fuck off you smug little prick. And if you ever get out from behind your computer, and find yourself in Canada. Look me up. I’ll bitch slap your foul mouth all the way back to Jersey.

          • Your entire post is what’s called projection (as well as being immensely triggered). Check it, you’re post works better with the word “Canada” placed instead of the term “America”. For example:

            Yes you are a typical Moosehumper.
            You have your head so far up your
            ass, you’re sucking shit right out of your colon (not colan you dumb fuck). You know nothing of the US or any other country, other than what you read in the tabloids.
            You like all your fellow Canadians, talk a ton of shit, but there’s not
            one ounce of fact truth or reality to your inane rant. Canada is a
            morale and cultural vacuum (case in point just look at Toronto). You’re all racist bigoted rude shit talking
            as cunts. Your current Prime Minister is the poster child for how low Canuckistan has sunk. He’s liberal fag, has the basic low intellect of
            all Canadians. He’s violating international law, on a daily bases. He’s
            costing Canada the few friends it does have left. As for your low
            opinion of us. We are the worthless Canadians biggest trading partner. We
            could tell you cunts to suck our cocks, cut you off from all our trade and watch you faggots go into the stone age. You can trade with China instead and watch them fuck you over. So fuck off you smug little Canadian prick.

            Now for the finale:
            “And if you ever get out from behind your computer, and find yourself in
            Canada. Look me up. I’ll bitch slap your foul mouth all the way back to
            Jersey.”

            Is it me or is the average Canadian shitposter also an internet toughguy. I notice this is as a trend among all Canadians. Horrible liars, smug, hypocrites, and Keyboard warriors. Ever got in a real fight? I have. When fists fly, people can get killed just by hitting the pavement. I know what kind of damage the human skull and brain can take before it’s had enough. I’ve stabbed people and defended myself from actual thugs before, it’s not what you see in the movies. Especially if you’re going up to a group on the corner, which is how most “fair” fights will end up (other than ground games). One of them WILL shoot you and you’d be a dead motherfucker as well as a stupid one.

            I know in bumfuck Canada, you can freely flex your muscles among the other keyboard warriors and look tough in the WASP town you live. Where I’m from, inner city NJ, shit is a whole different story. We’ve got candle memorials on sidewalks and porches galore. So you’re welcome to visit hoodrat town and tell everyone how you can easily kick their ass.

            Pic related: This IS the average Canadian E-thug.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1a6076b9f335c3de6cf1a2fd91996265e54dbc314d2343dc8e7fc6779dca4158.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Have you ever visited Canada? Have you ever been outside the USA at all? I’ve been to the states you little shit, and no I wouldn’t pick a fight with anyone over there. Cause yeah I know I’d get shot. That’s how Americanshe are though. Spineless pussies to scared to fight man to man. In Canada we don’t feel the need to pull guns, because we’re not pussies like you. We can settle things in a good old fashioned fist fight. Treadeau may be a liberal ass, but at least he’s not building walls around boarders. Banning entire races of people from entering our country. Plus you said the US protectso us. May I ask from what? We have only faced one military incursion in the history of our country. That was 200 years ago and it was by you pussies. The British Canadian alliance bounced your sorry assessment right back south too. So get real retard.

          • In other words you are full of shit. Just do me a favor. In your reply to this message, tell everyone that you’re a fake cunt. Let me tell you something about E-thuggery….I once had a some stupid kid who (by passing Stolen Valor laws) claimed to be a US Marine that was trained in bootcamp at “Camp Leatherneck” in Afghanistan. I wish I was making this up. He threatened to drive in his mom’s minivan to meet me face to face. I had another faggot, like you, who challenged me to a fist fight at an undisclosed, derelict, far off location. Now I have a Canadian cocksucker, who blames his son for his failure, claiming he wants me to go all the way to Canada and knock him the fuck out.

            So let me teach you something about laws, as someone who has gotten into brutal life/death fights himself. If I were to somehow drive there and fuck you up, I would be in violation of assault…some of which carries up to 15 years in prison (depending on where you live). In addition, since the threats and bullshit were made and done beyond NATIONAL border lines, that means everyone from federal authorities all dip their dick into it.

            Finally if you believe that somehow YOU are ANY sort of threat to someone online or that you can flex your muscles over the keyboard…UNFUCK YOURSELF FROM THE INTERNET YOU LOSER CUNT.

            I don’t know whatever the hell else you were blabbering about, but I’m just assuming it’s you trying to backtrack of run away from the fact that you made a fake toughguy rant online and now look even dumber. 200 years ago, my country went up there and destroyed some the capital of Canada and made it surrender to us. We marched home and then beat some limeys at baltimore and then later in New Orleans. I don’t remember being bounced back anywhere. I read books about 1812 too. I’m not always on the internet being a cunt. But anyways that’s irrelevant.

            Right now I want you to apologize to your son, to me, and to everyone else having to sit through your stupidity and say “Sorry everyone I’m a fake twat and I didn’t mean to talk the way I did” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8372f4a99aae3cb86e6bb6586aec94213f692dd0116871352c245e4fdf92928b.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Listen here you crazy cocksucker. The only thing your pathetic country is good for is money. My father won 7. 5 million dollars in Vagas 20 years ago. So no I don’t have a job. Neither does my worthless son, or my 3 wonderful daughters. We live like royalty off American dough. So piss off you jealous Inbread.

          • Once I finished ejaculating on your wife, I moved to the corner of which you were seated. My glans was huge and bulbous. With your eyes fixated on the sperm dripping from my penis I forced it deep in your mouth and ordered you to inhale my cock. Choking and gagging, you did the job well. My cock was cleaned and shining thanks to your potent suction action from your mouth. I then aimed for your face and began to relieve myself all over. It was an R.Kelly that completely drenched you and marked you as my permanent cuckold.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            What’s your beef with Toronto? You should be glowing with pride over those jerk offs. It’s a little slice of America right here in Canada. It’s a concrete jungle like most American cities. It’s the one place in our fair Country where I actually fear getting shot. They’re all rude asswipes. And it smells like piss, just like new York. In fact the only difference between the 2 cities is, size and new York has better food.

          • I need you to do me a favor, aside from committing suicide and realizing the article you’re getting wild up about is satire, I need you to keep all your shit posts into one concise response. I don’t have fucking time to read though

            “Errrhh Cenehdeha rocks eehhh? Weeere erll gerd peeple ehhhh. You seck ehhhh. Fek this and fek thet ehhh”.

            Breath through your fucking gut and sound like a man. Not like some high pitched nasally twink who just breathed in a balloon of helium.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know what really pisses me off about you dam yanks? You just can’t for the life of you, brew a decent beer. Fuck everytime I’m in the states, I have to order a cocktail, cause your beer tastes like watered down yak piss. I mean holy fuck how do you guys get buzzed let alone hammered? When your average beer is 3 to 4% alcohol volume. Come over here and have a real beer. Labatt maximum ice. 7.1% alcohol. That’s a real man’s beer.

          • Whoa whoa whoa….four posts? This one talking about irrelevant bullshit like beer. I don’t drink the stuff too much. I don’t need your man-tits. I guess you’re backtracking from your internet toughguy rant where you suddenly thought you were a Navy Seal with over 300 confirmed kills.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Holy shit!!! All you can do is insult my wife, and retard of a son. Yeah you’re a fucking genius pal. The only fights you’ve ever been in is with your hubby. After a night of partying on meth and fucking your uncle you goddammed Inbread. I have actually been in fights, specifically with your mom after I put her to bed wet along with your sister, after a night of the hot and nasty. Tell them to stop calling me for fucks sake. I mean I know they enjoyed sucking a dick bigger then 4 inches but really!! Enough is enough. Go fuck your mom Norman bates, maybe she’ll stop begging every dude she sees to bang her. Cause finally her son showed he was a nanny. Even if all he can get it up for is his own mama.

          • When trapped the Canada fag short circuits into an overly triggered woman who backtracks on his/her previous internet e-thugger and goes into an adolescent shitpost that would make every 3rd grader in the playground blush

            You basically remind me of this cunt from Canada….
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd182d9483a6c223fa12771cece749eb0763d5d22250af5fb3e110af5052b667.jpg

            Word for word I almost imagined her…but with more of my jizz on her face. No, now I’m primarily insulting you and your cunt of a wife. Why? You’re failures on every level. And this shows an example of Canadian white trash as a whole. I want everyone reading this comment and seeing the responses from faggots like Justin’s post-op trans mom/dad here to realize everything I’ve said about Canadians online is correct.

            Let’s get something straight here you damn man-child; I don’t ever want your stupid ass calling your son a drunk loser you rat piece of shit. He’s just drinking to escape his loser pathetic parents…YOU. You pieces of shit grew up in spoiled state and in your narcissism you’ve raised kids like your son, who can’t find a job due to the economy you cunts created. He can’t find proper social connections because HE was raised by kids. Namely you and your wife. You’re nothing but children in a fucking wrinkly ass jizz faced adult body. And you’re blaming your son because you’re fucking stupid? Get the fuck outta here you little pathetic fuck. Go raise your son correctly before you worry about WTF my country the US is doing.

            Oh I know you low life canadian can’t do that because if you don’t scrutinize America, Trump or anything from the US, then you don’t have to look at what’s going on in your life. It’s a joke. To be honest, judging from your replies, I don’t even think you’ve got a job man. You dumb hippie piece of shit.

            Get a job, LEARN TO PARENT!, and get some damned counseling. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6ceefb7e79c9bb46cc2fbe9fef5cbd4d5409d6a0ae011cc99260d0dc963c7a9.png

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I dare you to say that to my face, you faggot piece of shit.

          • Your mother is a cunt. Your wife is a cunt. Your daughter is a cunt. Every woman in your family line is a cunt. You sucked my cock to the point I blew several loads all over your face and tits and then you bowed to my American superiority.

            And there is nothing…absolutely nothing you’re going to do about it. Sue me. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0858d3f7c2ff2bca8238f4267581dfbb28edc30d33bb2efae644cea30cfeb428.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You stupid fuck. There’s nothing your useless government can do to us. Fuck they won’t even revoke my family’s passport. Because we pump too much of your own money back into your economy each time we visit. You are lame ducks through and through. So take a good long hard huff off my piss pump, my little American bitch.

          • And then once I had your wife in the missionary position, I covered her with my burly American body. I then proceeded to trust in her womb without mercy. The sounds of her orgasms echoed throughout the neighborhood. That was before my balls figured they couldn’t hold back. I popped my dick out and began to ejaculate all over her tits. But the power of my semen not only hit her tits, but her face, stomach, wall and some even got on your shirt while you were filming. It’s like my cock turned into a nice fluid stream of thick manly ejaculate.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Why do I have this strong strong feeling? You are under 16 years old? I’ll text you Monday morning, I’ll no response, cause you’ll be in school eye fucking Mr. Peterson. Fag. I guarantee it. You are a little punk. Who needs to have your mom pull your pants and underwear down, and spank your ass with a belt till it’s raw red.

          • Your daughter trembled first and that is when I caressed her hair and gentle laid her on her back. I promised her nothing would go wrong and that her first time would be memorable. It is then I began to thrust my fully erect sword into the scabbard. She moaned harshly first but then slowly accepted my manhood as I invaded her tight snatch.

            Behind me I heard a camera snap. Looking over my shoulder I turned to see you taking photographs.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You ever see mee in person, you better bring a gun cunt. It’s your only hope. I’ll fold you in half and stick you up trumps cum filled ass bitch. Stop running your cock jaws and face me in combat, dickhead. Or are you scared of this simple Canadian millionaire?

          • It when your daughter began to moan in pleasure that I knew I was doing it right. Quickly I transitioned her on all fours and began to ram her from behind so hard that her head hit the bed post. My muscles tensing. Sweat dripping from my bow. It is then I pulled out and started to nut all over her back. I slapped my throbbing cock on her butt a few times.

            I grabbed you by the neck and then ordered you to kiss the head of my cock.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            How many times did mommy violate you as a little boy? How long before the next terrorist attack on the USA? Trump says they get through our border. Good!! I hope they destroy you bitchs!!! You’re scum!!! Everyone hates you, including us. So when Pakistan assfucks you. I’ll cheer!! Along with everyone else.

          • https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53cde393c7dfdbf4d4d3a27da1c073a5be9e530f275d98d53657e64272acea98.jpg

            What’s really good witcha? you already know, it’s ya boy Ramiro

            Had a few things I wanted to say before I hit the gym this morning. First of all, I just got out of the shower wit my bitch Maria. 95 pounds, 5’3 and has the body of a goddess.[She just blew me, **** was SO cash].know how I pulled her? Being a real man, something you nerds don’t know **** about. All you know about is books, while I’m out in da club poppin’ bottles and cheating on my bitch every night with the lushest breezies in Jersey.

            Did I fuck that skank in the shower just a minute ago? You know i did, it was clutch. And she wouldn’t dare cheat on a greek god looking specimen like myself, I give it her good, all day, every day. Don’t believe me? Ask your girlfriend. Know what I’m saying? Face, bitch.

            You chumps make me sick, hanging out on your nerd website all day jerking off to fat chicks, I roll out with my boys 5 nights a week, the chicks can’t resist my bangin’ guns. When I walk up in da club, bitches can’t wait for the Alphabet [‘cos i’m the ALPHA male and you can BET on it] to wrap his pimp mitts around their titties.

            I am the hottest guy any of you will ever have the privilege of being amongst. I bench 240 and do 500 sit-ups a day. My abs are hard as a rockand my dick’s the size of a cucumber. When I walk down the street I cansmell your girlfriend’s pussy getting wet. She wants to fuck wit a real
            boss, not a chump change loser like you. Just playin’, you ain’t even got a girl. All you got is Warhammer. You play that shit, imma be playin’ wit girls tits in da club.

            Don’t be hatin’ bro’, Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect.

            On the grind.

            – Ramiro the champ

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Shit!!! Do you even here the shit? You’re barfing up? Or are you as deaf as you are stupid? Fuck man!!! Do you honestly think I pass judgment on your piece of shit country, randomly? I have a dozen relatives who are naturalized Americans. And they agree America is dirtier than my Dick. That’s saying something since it’s been in your sister pushy.

          • Hey Canacuck Faggots,

            My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat,
            retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at
            stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have
            any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun
            of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole
            new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

            Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much
            perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my
            basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked
            drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot
            girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who
            should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

            Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/72bcce163806c06ed9883e901ea55d96322d2054ba5eaf0533cac10b76162b93.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            My jealous little dick. What makes you more angry? The fact I have millions of green backs? Or that I have 4 children? And you are a impudent limp dick?

          • JUSTIN Millar

            That’s good John. If that’s your real name. I have friends in CSIS. AND THE CBA and if you ever try to cross the border, into Canada prepare to be strip searched. Get a finger up the poop shoot. Have your balls grabbed and violated. Have your vehicle ripped apart. Ect. Your red flagged asswipe.

          • Hey you Moroccan morons,

            My name is Di’Angelo and I mean serious fucking business (fear my face). I’ve been lookin’ around this piece of ass site of yours, and I find it very fuckin disturbing to say the least. I don’t think you’re real people (you fucks are virgins and don’t have pussy. Not even burnt pussy) Anways, why are you on our New Jersey dicks for? You love us so much you made atleast 100 of fansites about “Guidos” & “Guidettes”. And fuck those other fake guidos who post by the name of Elio &
            Julio. Fake Guidos never copy & paste other’s posts (we only copy each other’s hairstyles, faggots) & I’m here to give you a final warning, stop fuckin with Paulie Carbone. If you fuck with Paulie, You fuck with the fam. If you fuck with the fam, THE FAM WILL FUCK YOU SINCERELY.

            And don’t you ever think of fuckin with a genetically superior being than you. You’re just mere fuckin ants compared to us. But I think you’re too fat to understand. BUT STOP PISSING ME OFF BEFORE I GOT ON ROID RAGE AND KILL WITH 1 STRIKE WHICH MEANS A 1 HIT K.O.! DONT PHUCKS WITH ME

            Sincerely, Di’Angelo

            P.S. When you die, I’ll fuck your corpses and the people that bury you. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0ff5a0d82cc95b15172312b0816b064463e729112ce3a9ba4000783a27d152a.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Congratulations!!! You just committed a Federal offence. You made a direct threat on my life over the Internet. I wasn’t joking about having friends IN CSIS. I know you’re simple yanky brain doesn’t know what that is, so Canada security intelligence services. They have contacts in the FBI. So expect a knock on your door, in the very near future. Prepare for the years of legal hell, your big stupid American mouth just landed you in.

          • What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll
            have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve
            been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300
            confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper
            in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another
            target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which
            has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You
            think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet?
            Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of
            spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better
            prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic
            little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be
            anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and
            that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in
            unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United
            States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your
            miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only
            you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever”
            comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your
            fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the
            price, you damn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will
            drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/49429b0bb6e2b3bd4a7d9147d1b5dfa9e3e6441c58eccca838b4c1ecef0aa2a0.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I don’t know which is smaller, your brain or your Dick. The Navy seals and the US marine Corp. Are 2 different branches of the US military. You intellectually inferior worm. Plus military intelligence is handled by the airforce. Not the jar head Marines. Stop using your welfare cheque, to juice. It’s shrinking your already small balls, and giving you delusions of grandure. Ps. The Marines doesn’t accept junkie pussies like you.

          • Hey Canadain cuck,

            My name is Lex Steele, and I love every one of your daughters. All of them are sexy, slutty, bunch of canadian whores who spend every second of their day looking at my BBC. You are everything great in my world. Honestly has your wife ever taken a real cock like mine? I mean, I guess it’s fun sitting back and watching me fuck your wife, but you take it to a whole new level. This is even better than jerking off on your face when I’m finished.

            Don’t be a stranger. Just let me hit your daughters with my best cumshot. The scene is pretty much perfect. I was a pornstar for several decades, and directed many of my own films. What porn films do you direct other than “I’m a canadian cuckold: Please fuck my wife”? I also have straight AIDS, and have your banging hot daughters at my command (THey all just sucked my BBC dry; Shit was SO cash). You are a CanaCuck who should just willingly submit to my 11 inch dick. Thanks for listening.

            Pic Related: It’s me having an orgasm https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/01e0a1e0367d251255bf9b702cc3ff442e0956ad30ad4d0a75898bd75755e660.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Hey son. My name is Diane Ross. I’m over having a drink with my friends. They’ve just shown me all the shit, you and my friends son have been spewing at each other. You are free to fling all the pyscobable you want at each other. However I’m here to let you know, I’m a agent with the Canada customs and immigration service. If you ever make a death threat to my friends again, I will get a warrant and trace your IP address. Than get in contact with my pals over in the department of Homeland Security, and have you extradited. To face federal charges.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know what pea brain. If you can manage to kick the junk, and assuming you don’t have a record. Which we both know you do. You should join the Marines. They’ll give you a real education, instead of the grade 9 one you currently have. They’ll teach you some manners and RESPECT. add more words to your vocabulary, than the cuss words you have now. You’ll actually have some real money in your pocket for a change. So think about it. Or go shine your nuts some more. Your choice.

          • Dammit what part of keep your fucking responses into ONE concise post don’t you understand you stupid motherfucker? Stop fucking spamming like an ultra fag. Stupid ass immigrant bitch. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/88ce66ecf5c5bd0bb36cec8ea0dbad7a5d88099fff85122c4c607e2bf590e9e7.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Unless you’re native American. You’re an immigrant, too you fucking pea brained retard!!! FYI my great grandfather moved from Scotland to Canada in 1889. When did your piece of shit ancestors arrive in America? Less than 50 years ago? Unlike you who disgrace yourself by lying about military service, cause you’re a family of unpatriotic free loading maggots, who’ve never contributed anything to society. I’ll have you know my grandfather serverd in WW2 with the Cape Breton Highlanders. Many other members of my family serverd In the Royals Canadian Armed forces in WW2 as well. So shut your fake fucking mouth about your imagined military service. It’s offensive to the real men and women who put they’re lives on the line, in defense of Thier respective countries.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Your sister just finished riding my huge Canadian Cock. Not only did she tell me it was the best she ever had. She let my in on a secret. She told me your favorite jerk off material, is posters of Justin Bieber. She says you’re totally in love with him. Your room is littered with his posters, you’ve been to every concert. That security has to drag you out with the other overly fan stuck screaming girls. Wow!! I knew you were a flaming American faggot!!! But a hypocritical one too? Shit how low can you sink? You miserable cunt. A one inch Dick. Extremely small nuts, which you shrink more by juicing. And a little Bieber mesmerized tinker bell fairy.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Oh!!! Boy. You just got Fucked big time!!! You know those big Toronto bears? You were jawing about? While agent Ross is one of them man!!! She’s 6 foot 4. And she’s got to be around 240 pounds. You just pissed in the wrong boots Dick face.my father actually got her to take a copy of these emails. Tomorrow she’s filing an official report. You told me to watch my Canuck mouth HA!!! it’s your dumb yank mouth that just landed you in the fire, shrimp Dick. An official report means they notify us authorities, so if you stick your pea brain in the oven again, they can move forward with filing official charges. Man you have to be by far the dumbest yank you bitchs I’ve ever met. That’s saying something. Since your all just a hair above clinical retardation anyways.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Hey bra my name is Ryan, and I’ve been reading the shit posts you’ve been shooting my brother here. The only thing you graduated top of, is the Dicks sucking contest you jersey fans have each year. We both know your a major queermo motherfucker, who takes it up the ass dry each night from your hubby. You Jersey faggots are the gaya capital of the world. I fuck your mama your sister and your aunts each morning as my morning warm up. I highly doubt you ever served your country you junkie piece of shit, but if you did the Navy makes sense. They all bareback each other, so a fag like you would fit right in. However we both know you’re such a flaming fag, you sacked your hubbies Dick right out in the open, earning you a dishonorable discharge. But a discharge isn’t anything new to you. Is it queermo?

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I’m just wondering something? Do you have multiple personality disorder? Or are those your boyfriends responding to me? Are you the queermo Lex whatever? Or the queermo Diangleo? Stop sucking your hubbies Dick, and putting those aid infested needles in your ass man.haven’t you shrunk those tiny balls enough. Man one inch Dick? Yeah your sister told me while I was drilling her up that overstretched ass. Get a Dick enlargement surgery for fuck sake. I know yanks have small Dicks. But that’s just sad bro!!! Plus stop swallowing cock and get some pussy for Christ sake. Even some fat pussy would be better than getting deep Dicked man. That’s just gross.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            OH!!! FUCK ME!!! your mom’s cooch has seriously festered since Thursday. Fuck!!! I hurled before I even got her pants off!!! Jesus fucking Christ. Dude that’s nasty shit!!! I know your a Melvin that spends his days sucking fag Dick, for steraroide money. But fuck man!!! That’s your mama!!! Get a job!!! And buy some health insurance to get that puss fixed man!!! Oh!!! Christ that’s rank!!!

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I just had my girlfriend, give me a handjob all over the jersey state flag. Than I made her cum all over it too. Than we both pissed and shit all over it. I wiped her ass and cunt with pieces of the American flag. Than she wiped my ass with a few C notes. We than took them burned them. And had a real brew, not American piss water as we watched it burn.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Since you’re not replying. I’ll assume you’ve submitted to my Canadian superiority. Or once again your hubbies Dick is Jamed up your ass. And you’re in the hospital awaiting surgery. Either way I know you got to be up at 6am. To get to your job at burger King on time. I only the other hand, don’t rise before 11 am. Because I don’t need to work. Due to the millions of American dollars my grand papie won. Will get up tomorrow morning to a blow job from my girlfriend. Bacon eggs toast milk and OJ. served by servants. While you bake in a hot kitchen for 8 hours, faggot.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know? My Skank ass how, gives me a BJ each morning. To block the smell of cum, she brushes, flosses and uses a salt and water rinse. Plus Listerene extra strength. However with the amount of cum you sucking back. I’m not sure how to help a deep throater like you. Double it mabey. I mean the brushing and rinsing of course. I know a sausage lover like you might confuse that!!!

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know having that much cum in your ass is dangerous. Here’s a number to a dr. To flush all that cum out of your ass. 905-579-1520.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Night. My little jersey drag queen. Hope you get your boyfriends cock out of your ass in time for your shift at burger King. I know how much that $6 an hour must mean to your ghetto ass. Fuck I wipe my ass with C notes. And you’re whole day is about $40 dang bucks. That’s sad dude. Really fucking sad. Why don’t you get off your lazy ass? And make something of yourself? I mean seriously bitch. Sucking fag Dick after slaving your ass off can’t be any fun. Queermo.

          • Hey Canadafags,

            My name is Quebecois, and I hate everyone of you. All of you are oppressive, fugly, fat, bunch of a Canadian lazy asses who spend every second of their day looking at stupid as pictures of your queen. You’re everything bad with national heritage. Honestly, have any of your ever gotten any pussy from a woman who wasn’t a nasal hamplanet? I mean, I guess its fun making fun of French people because of your own insecurities, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than making up your own history so that you have some resemblance of national identity like us French.

            Don’t be a Queen-lover. Just hit me with your best shot. We’re pretty much perfect. We annihilated Braddock and the other Redcoats during the 7 years war. What things are you know for other than “I made up a fake history to look more the United States”? I also get maritime rights and have banging hot half French half Indian women (I just had a blowjob from them; Shit was SO OOH LA LA). You are all culture-less faggots who should just get nuked by your southern neighbor. Ciao.

            Pic Related: It’s me and my flag
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7dd23e2b70808cd12b981f3ee7904aa2b249c17108188fba808ee1d2ce9f8a79.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You dumb retarded yanky Bitch. I’m superior to you in every way shape and form. I drink the best beer, eat the best food, wear the finest clothes. Fuck the threads I’m wearing now are worth more than your skanky ass and your entire ghetto family!!! You aren’t fit to lick my boots. Jersey is one of the biggest shit holes in America, it’s almost on part with Detroit. Go climb back down thug ally suck a few more fag Dicks, for your next hit of nut shrinking juice.

          • https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3434dfa94ea5791b07a39dd86255a355e6eae64ab79029145a940b9c44df6abe.jpg

            Hey White Canadian Crackers,

            I am Chinese asian, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, white boys who spend every second of their day disrespecting woman. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten good grades? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your shitty immigration, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than saying black people from New Jersey have bigger dicks.

            Don’t be a white retard. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the chess team, and starter on my debate team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to asian people”? (White bitches are obviously superior.) I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot white girlfriend (She just blew my tiny penis; Shit was SO yen). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

            Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            This comment finally affirms, what a dumb intellectually challenged American low life piece of street trash you are. I’ll tell you what. You dam stupid backwards brain fried American Bitch. In 4 years, when ducky Trump, has plunged his Dick further up America ass, than your hubby does to yours each night. And you can’t even afford a can of soup, because your country is bankrupt and poorer than Mexico City. I’ll hire you as my personal bitch. You can wipe my superior Canadian ass for me. Clean my shit stained boxers by hand.fetch my beer for me. Do all my housework.and take care my property, which means shoveling all the chicken horse and cow shit. Plus feeding them. In return I’ll give you room and board. Which will of course be deducted from your minimum wage. But hey that’s not to shabby, you’re only making minimum wage now. What’s over there $7 an hour? Ours is $13 an hour. So big step up.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Don’t worry about your family, I’ll get them some work too. I can definitely set your sister up with a few gigs, I mean her ass is a bit stretched but hey!!! We can work around that. As for your mom… while let’s face it. That used up old hosebag has been around the block a few to many hundred times. That cooch just can’t be worked with!!! But no worries. I’ll set her up with some light chores on the estate. Laundry dishes ect.

          • Do you like Phil Collins? I’ve been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn’t understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where, uh, Phil Collins’ presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch
            was the group’s undisputed masterpiece. It’s an epic meditation on
            intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of
            the preceding three albums.

            Justin, take off your robe.

            Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and
            Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Old man Millar, remove your dress.

            In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer
            songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Millar,
            why don’t you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to “Land of Confusion”. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. “In Too Deep”
            is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and
            commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as
            positive and affirmative as, uh, anything I’ve heard in rock.

            Justin,
            get down on your knees so your father can see your asshole.

            Phil Collins’
            solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying,
            in a narrower way. Especially songs like “In the Air Tonight” and, uh, “Against All Odds”. Old man, don’t just stare at Justin’s ass, eat it.

            But I also think Phil Collins
            works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I
            stress the word artist. This is “Sussudio”, a great, great song, a personal favorite. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d6660827ee4c19c7a64760b32ffe6dd1351016882bd471219a13dced017e4ff.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Ahhi!! I’m more of a Greenday fan. Especially Thier epic hit sensation who wants to be an American idiot. Nothing describes the shithole called the United States better. I’m also a big fan of the TV show Southpark. In one episode Cartman and the gang are in Afghanistan. They get caught up with by the taliban. Kyle goes ooh were not American we’re just lost Canadian boys, let us get back on our dog sleds, and head back to Canada. The taliban was about to let them go, until Cartman yelled out. Don’t call me a fucking Canadian you goddammed jew. I love it!!! Cartman and his utter stupidity. Represents how stupid 99% of all Americans are.

          • I think that you’ve gotten the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning, I’ll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and walk in and see and uh… if you don’t have my money for me, I’ll… crack your fuckin’ head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I’m comin’ out of jail, hopefully, you’ll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I’ll split your fuckin’ head open again. ‘Cause I’m fuckin’ stupid. I don’t give a fuck about jail. That’s my business. That’s what I do. And we know what you do, don’t we? You fuck people out of money and get away with it.
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3802ecc8015d5dd635021ba092bc4ef4aadc5407d383aba03638ba7585691abd.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            No bro. You got it all wrong, accept the part about you being a stupid fucking yank. See here’s how it is. I’m a millionaire. You are a ultra poor American cocksucker. You collect a welfare cheque each month, blow it on roid’s the first day, and suck fag Dick the rest of the month to juice some more. You probably have every STD in the book. As for your wet dreams of ever harming me and mine. Dream on!! When we’re in the shithole US. we always have private security with us. In Canada. Well our estate is well guarded. But you can’t enter Canada. You have a criminal record. Your ineligible to visit. Show up at the border. They’ll boot your skanky yanky ass right back south. Your sister says hi. She’s riding my big Canadian cock again.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You also probably got your hubbies backhand impression in your face. I mean the guy must get jealous of all those dudes who deep Dick you in the joint.what’s your bunkies pet name for you in the joint anyways? I think it’s big AL. Cause from talking to you, you remind me of 2 of the gayest characters on Southpark. Big Gayle AL, and that queermo Tweeter. You have a major mood disorder, that swings between floating happy tinker bell gay, to a pissed off serious selfdenial raging Mr. Garrison type fag. Seriously dude!!! Lay off the roids!!!! They are messing with more than just you small nuts.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know what shitkicker? I’m going to offer you an olive branch. Cause even stinking American losers deserve a chance. My eldest sister a member of the church of the latter day saints. And she has missionary work coming up. Now as my family is a major contributer to the church. I could have a word with the bishop about getting a mission sent to shithole jersey. The church offers rehabilitation and education to homosexuals and junkies like you. They could get you out of the Crack den your in now. Get you an education. Get your off the assortment of drugs your on now, including the nut shrinking juice. Get you an actual job. No more swallowing cock for your next hit. They’ll even teach you about God, if your into that. Even if your not. Play along. It’s better than giving $5 blowjob so for nut shrinking juice.

          • Where the fuck do you get off talking to people about me behind my back, going over my head? What people, d’ja think I wasn’t gonna find out? No? You said I’m bringing heat on YOU? I gotta listen to people because of your fuckin shit? You’re orderin me out? You better get your own fuckin army pal!

            You want me to get out of my own fuckin town? Oh I don’t know whether you know this or not, but you only have your fuckin casino because I made that possible. I’m what counts out here, not your fuckin country clubs or your fuckin TV shows! And what the fuck are you doing on TV anyhow? You know I get calls from back home every fuckin day, they think you went bat shit! Your fuckin ass! You coulda had the food and beverage job without going on television. You wanted to go on TV. You’re making a big fuckin spectacle of yourself!

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You see? This is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re completely off your rocker bro!!! Now LISTEN you lowlife junkie piece of Jersey shit. I REALLY can’t stress this enough!!! LAY THE FUCK OFF THE ROIDS!!! they have completely shrunk your balls. Those things are raisins now, plus you have a one inch prick. Fuck you must look like a woman down there! Now that shit is Fucked up enough. But now those ROIDS are shrinking your already underdeveloped brain!!! You are starting to have hallucinations. Seriously dude.major sign of baked brain. You’ll be sitting in your local state funded insane asylum, shitting yourself and drooling out the side of your mouth. Fuck man get a grip!!! It’s bad where your going. I have an cousin who drank himself into wetbrain. Now this is Canada and our family has money, so he’s got great care, but shit it’s still terrible. You’re a poor piece of American shit, who lives in a capitalist country. They will dump your ass in some shithole where you’ll be dead within a year. GET OFF THE ROIDS!!! BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!!

          • Oh sure now you wanna bring your fuckin license on me, is that it? Back- Back up, back up a fuckin’ minute here. One minute. I asked you? When the fuck did I ever ask you if I could come out here?

            Get this through your head, you… Get this through your head you Jew motherfucker, you. You only exist out here because of me. That’s the only reason. Without me, you, personally, every fuckin’ wise guy skell around’ll take a piece of your fuckin’ Jew ass. Then where you gonna go?

            You’re fuckin’ warned. Don’t ever go over my fuckin’ head again. You motherfucker, you.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Look here you tweaked out piece of fucking shit. Go suck another fag Dick for $5 and buy yourself another hit of roids. But seriously go to detox instead. Number 2. Let’s get something straight you fucking mutt. I’m no jew. My background is English/ Scottish. 3. Don’t ever for one fucking second think I fear a mutt like you, or your lowlife mutt friends. If any of you degenerate who whores, got within 50 feet of me, and threatened my safety in anyway, you’d get shredded by by security team. Bing bang boom. More dead street rats. So blow me you faggot piece of shit.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Besides I just found out why you’re such a ROID head. I just finished taping your sisters overstretched ass again. She told me about your childhood. How you were so Far you had bigger Tits than your mom. How the kids at school used to make you do the truffle shuffle. About all the tittie twisters you used to get. Wow man!!! I had no idea. My sympathy.

          • I am Proximo! I will be closer to you in these next few days, which
            will be the last days of your miserable lives, than that bitch of a
            mother who first brought you screaming into this world! I did not pay
            good money for your company, I paid it so I could profit from your
            deaths! And just as your mother was there at your beginning, so I shall
            be there at your end. And when you die — and die you shall — your
            transition will be to the sound of …Gladiators, I
            salute you.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You are one goofy ass stoned out, juiced up delusional motherfucker. Stop watching B movies, juicing sucking fag Dick and leeching of the tax payers tit. You can’t pay for any company except the company of the guy who’s cock you’re swelling for your next score. You’re a poor fucking lowlife American mutt. Your mama don’t want to see your face ever, except on the holidays when she grudgingly reluctantly allows your skanky faggot ass over. She spends the week before locking up everything of the most minute value. She than spends 90 agonizing minutes waiting for you to get the fuck out. Cause she’s so ashamed of her mutt of a son. You’re the problem with society today. I think they should take every piece of lowlife scum like you, and euthanize you.

          • It is important to understand what The Storm is capable of. He lured 4 women, Millar’s wife and daughters, into his home and his hands. He showered them with gifts and money and even showered them with love letters, which are too sick to read out to you. The same goes for their police statements. There he systematically banged them beyond belief.

            I have not..not..not! NOT! NOT!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e259230d887d491bbdcf0a6d79b43ad0dba656803dff1c4969e15e93e32d85f1.jpg
            You are a shithouse! You are a shithouse!

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know something? Canadians most anyways, are ATI confrontational by nature. But understand this you jersey faggot. This is a cold rough land. Not gay ass jersey shores. If you ever met and actual Canadian and threw down. That Canadian would fold your stupid jersey ass up, and stomp it into the ground. Your own mama wouldn’t be able to recognize you.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            See here’s the deal. You have no money, EVER!!! except the few dollars you make, in the back ally, swallowing fag Dick!!! That money is litterly in your hands for less than 5 minutes. As you walk down to the next ally, to buy more dope off your dealer. Secondly the only thing you ever get showered in is cum. When the fag you’re sucking off, blows his load all over your mutt face!!! Third the only member of your pathetic rat family, who ever sees some real cash. Is your whore of a sister. I know I’ve already dropped about 6K on her skanky ass!!! As for a police statement. If you ever got near my estate. You’d have 20 laser dots aimed right at your pump. You’d have a spotlight in your eyes blinding you. Than six paramilitary commando units, slam you into the pavement, probably breaking every bone in your mutt face. My police statement would be. Take him away officers. Contact the RCMP. he’s a foreign national, here illegally. Deport his miserable ass back to the US.

          • They’re about all sorts of things…
            They are m0lesting your girls. They are about m0lesting your girls. How to do it….AHHHHHHH!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36b46db4c294d937bb1c8931d6f8ec2a05df9b50717cbf5794cfda2a76a8e40f.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know something punk? Your rhetoric is getting old. So let me tell you something about how things work here in the real world. There are people with money, and those people can make certain things happen, if they felt inclined to do so. Than there is poor street trash like you, who has no money no influence no power. So just a suggestion. Shut your stupid American face.

          • What about the last time you had sex with your father? That was an evil occasion wasn’t it? There was no, no consent there was it? I am saying that you too are a RAPAH!

            I’m a writer. What I do is I’m an advocate.

            Yes.

            Yes.

            yes.

            Grub…Alright grub. Geh geh geh geh geh Grub!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a7631813c011bdf250525c7ad5ada165c08b822fd49f920968c6850020fe43f.gif

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Your sister is one clingy bitch dude!!! I mean she’s been gaging on my cock for around a week now. I’m not into no longer term relationships. I’m going to hit that shit again tonight. Than I’m tossing her skanky ass out dude!!! Time to move on to a new flavor. Don’t worry though. I’ll jerk off on a few dozen C notes and throw them her way. I’m sending a present with her for you too. A jersey state flag that I wiped my ass with!!! That way you’ll always have a piece of a superior being. We both know you’re not even worthy to possess my shit stains, which I graciously put on your state flag for you. Hey just a symbol of my undying respect for the fact that you have a half decent looking sister that I got to fuck for week straight. I mean she must get her looks from her pops side, cause your mom…. oh!!! FUCK!!! Scary shit!!

          • To be frank I don’t wipe my ass with a Canadian flag, I prefer to use actual Canadians to smear my Jersey shit on. There’s one Canadian that’s taking my b8 right now that’s practically coated in my urine and shit. His new name is the Toilet of the north. As for your sisters, they’re more my cumdumpsters.

            Now rage 🙂

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You are one small brained, shrimp Dick, motherfucker. You actually made a threat online!!! Wow!!! You know my father is trying to get you in all sorts of shit with the feds. I hope they charge you in the US, rather than extrediting your sorry ass.that way you can get properly deep Dicked by your cell mate. Our jails are a joke, the guards actually do Thier jobs here. Have fun being someone’s boyfriend.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Here’s another thing to ponder. You godfather wannabe. When you’re in the joint, make sure to give your new boyfriend a courtesy lick. After your done sucking his bone dry each morning. You said in one of your shit posts, you know how much damage the human skull can take. Even a skull with a pea brain like yours can only take so much damage. So don’t piss off your bunk mate/ boyfriend too much. And as for your addmitted steraroide usage. Isn’t it bad enough you got a one inch Dick? Do you really need to shrink your already abnormally small ball?

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Where are you, you yanky knob gobbler? I got my 10 inch cock down your sisters throat right now. Let me guess? You’re on all fours taking it up the ass from the guy you met, in your local gaya bar.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Since you’ve done what I knew you would from our first discussion. Which is tuck your cowardly American tail between your split ass. I’ll just say this. It’s been a pleasure to make another American rat, sqearm. Your sister was way better then you mom by the way. I had that bitch screaming in pleasure for the last 3 hours!!! Our wild night is just getting started too. I’m going to stretch her sweet ass so much, it bleeds!!!

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I assume by the way you suddenly clammed up. That you finally realize what an inferior being you are. That your entire country is the world’s whore. You fucking split ass cunts. You specificly are either a welfar piece of shit, or you flip burgers for a living. Myself on the other hand, live off the American money my grandfather won in whorevill vagas so long ago. I literally keep a stack of C notes to jerk off into. Than I spend them cum stained notes in the US wherever I’m over there. Think I visit New York at least twice a year. So you might be holding my cum in your faggy hands now. After all new jersey is new Yorks bitch sister.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            I’m your social, economical, intellectual, spiritual and financial superior. Respect this face bitch. I could own your yank ass. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6656e9a833c57ad7738525e95834870bc4ba9ec0d2eae812017b6f1475a437ca.jpg

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You know what you American cocksucker? Is it possible for you to settle things one on one? No weapons, or are you too much of apussy? Cause my dad’s dragging us up to New York City this August. If you can fight like a man, and assuming my dad has not gotten your swanky ass put away by than. Let me know. I’ll meet you in jersey, and we’ll settle this Mano a Mano!!!

          • Ok cool. I’ll see you then. When I win I get to fuck all 3 of your sisters.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            You little fag. You must know tonight is the super bowl? Are you and your band of faggots, having a circle jerk? Over those big huge sweaty muscular athletes? Do you fags fantasy about getting you the poop shoot from those real men? Sorry but they like pussy, not sausage. Go back down to your local gaya dive bar, and find a big muscular man to spank your queermo ass for you. In the mean time I’ve got to take care of your mom’s dried up cooch again. Man tell the skank to stop hitting me up, I’m running out of vassaline.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Shit man!!! Your mama gave me crabs. Or at least that’s what I thought. Until I had your sisters snatch wrapped around my face. Just as I made her cum, I saw the little buggers come crawling up my nose. Luckily we have free health care over here. She told me how your mom fondled you and her when you were young. It’s how you both got crabs. Mama made you lick her till she came, during her period. Fuck that’s nasty. I heard what pops did too. But I can’t repeat that without puking.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Hey yank. I just wanted to let you know my friends in CSIS, have been notified of your death threat. They’ve traced you back to your actual location, and notified the FBI. do you know how much trouble you’re in, you American skank? This is an international case. You’re so Fucked.

          • So I’m going to have to ask you for the 100th time to keep your responses into ONE, NOT 54, but ONE concise response. We don’t need you spreading your cancer across the entire comments sections by responding 70 times to one post. I know you’re a Canadian and all, but shut the fuck up.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Hey bro. I’m Susan, you are one ignorant pig. Not that my brother is any better. You though are an American pig!!! Not to mention from punk ass New Jersey. You are litterly a state of freaks.your own countrymen hate you. I had a boyfriend in Dallas who would’ve ate you alive bitch. His 13 inch Texan cock puts your 1 millimeter cock to utter shame. I hate yanks. Rude ignorant stupid small limp Dicked pricks!!! I prefere a nice southern good mannered, respectfull big cock. Masculine gentleman. So go home to your boyfriend you yanky bitch.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Fuck that was a good shit I just had!!! I cut up an American flag for toilet paper. Than I jerked off into a C note over a picture of your mom. Fuck she’s a skanky ass bitch.

          • JUSTIN Millar

            Man I fear nothing and nobody. However your mom’s face is truly one terrifying sight. I was stuck between tears and a petrified scream when I took her to bed last night. I had to put a bag over her head and insist she kept her shirt on, so I didn’t throw up all are her. Man a bitch with books that sag that much really needs to wear a bra. And her cooch was so dry we went through an entire jar of vassaline. Fuck I hope your sister has better stuff, cause I’m taping that ass tonight.

          • PS: The NRA is for noobs. Real patricians are members of the 2nd Amendment Foundation.

      • Josh Mazzanti

        Americans like to claim victory of 1812, I’m glad you didn’t but you’re also still just using a more rational version of the American perspective (suggesting the eagle always wins) Did you know that the British North American/Canadian military burned the white house down? Almost entirely removed from American history, and yet somehow most Americans believe they won the war of 1812. If that were the case I would be an American citizen or maybe non existant

        • Mikko Kivisto

          I’m Canadian, by the way. My little essay is from a post-secondary Canadian history perspective. I’m also trying to give a more balanced view because neither side actually “won” the war–neither side gained any territory in the end. The northern States didn’t even want to be a part of the whole thing (why fight your best trading partner?). But, if it makes you feel better, yes, the British won because they repulsed the American invasion. Happy?

          On the other hand, the US could claim victory because they “sent a message” to Great Britain, strengthened a pretty sad military organization into something more respectable, and could at least point to a victory in Louisiana (despite the fact that this battle took place after the treaty was signed–news traveled slowly then).

          I did know that the White House was burned. However, I know of no Canadian/BNA colonial militia involvement in that attack, only British forces. Other than perhaps some taking the view that it was revenge for York, most of the militia would have preferred to stay home and protect their crops.

          That all being said, I suppose British North America could claim a victory of its own because the war set into motion the beginnings of what would become a “Canadian” identity made up from American Loyalist and British settlers, Québécois, and the other British North American colonies. But, it would take an American Civil War to really get things cooking for Canada to finally form.

          • Scooby Doo

            We won the war, otherwise where we are now, Canada, would be a part of the United States. The Americans lost, because if they had won there would be no Canada now.

          • vlad the impaler

            the british ran canada canadians didnt win crap.

          • Renee Manzoor

            And who is running you motherfuckers you dumbfuck? Go study history.

          • Evan Asselstine

            Our identity is simple we are definitely not AMERICAN (thank goodness) and we are not British either.

        • majicmahon

          C’mon mon amis. We know history & geography are not Americans strongest suits. While chauffeuring a Dr & wife from NJ over the Peace Bridge (Buffalo/fort Erie) the good Dr. asked which ocean was that we were going over! True story.

          • vlad the impaler

            your trying to tell us a doctor mistook a river for an ocean?okay whatever you say,perhaps it was just a slip of the tongue.i had no idea you canadians hated americans,but in my time every canadian i have ever known or worked with was a scheming sneak that couldn’t be relied on or trusted.it says alot about your people who are bowing down to colored hoardes while doing nothing inevitably creating a nightmare for your children,nice going canada,yu have alot to be proud of.

          • Anony_Mouse58

            Its not a river either, it’s Lake Ontario. Are you all this dense?

          • Stormin’ Norman

            That never happened you lying shit. The only thing a Doctor from New Jersey would ever say to you was “shut the fuck up and drive faggot”.

        • Stormin’ Norman

          There was not a single Canadian unit in the order of battle during the sneak attack on Washington DC. Never has America removed the war from our history as the British retreat from Baltimore inspired our very Star Spangled Banner. Judging from snobbish Canadian revisionism you’d like to think that the entire war of 1812 was just the sneak attack on Washington DC. Baltimore (the real target) was never even discussed, neither are the consecutive months of fighting. Yet the revisionist would like to call Americans as uninformed.

          Yes, America did win. It was a defensive action in response to British bullying. Britain did many acts of war by kidnapping our sailors, giving arms to the Indians to attack settlers, and attacking our ships during peacetime. The first thing to do is launch a counter attack on the enemy’s field to bring the fight to them.

          In light of your last sentence, one could say just the opposite that if Britain really won, we’d be a colony again. I don’t see a union jack flying from our mast though.

      • Stormin’ Norman

        Actually the Americans did gain ground. The British left from operating in the Ohio valley which helped our expansion west. We subdued the Indian tribes who were being used by the British to attack American settlers. And finally the act forced Britain to further respect America’s sovereignty by not attacking our ships and kidnapping our sailors. America did what it sought out to do. Unfortunatley for us extensive Canadian propaganda has pretty much poisoned and washed away America’s second war of independence, and turned it into the Canadian knock-off bootleg version of America’s Revolutionary War.

        • jackflash1

          Yes..and look at the wonderful place America turned into and such charming people too. So beautiful how the indigenous peoples were so well treated and absorbed in the homogeneous and bustling society and look how fairly they treated those they once held as slaves. 40 acres and a mule? Is that what it was back then? And now they have someone who reminds me of a combination Mother Teresa and Ghandi..what’s his name? Trump? So American.

          • Stormin’ Norman

            Yeah Cuntanada was so much better to it’s natives that we were. Such as the Indian Act, using native children as test subjects during project paper clip, and Gradual Civilization Act. Even now when something of value is found on Native land, they get moved out.

            And what about the people once held as slaves? They have 1.1 Trillion dollars moving through their community and they still chimp out at stupid shit. Not only that they also support the same democrapic party that once owned their asses as slaves. In their spare time they still support such things as the one drop rule, committed slavery in Africa(Liberia), owned slaves in America themselves, and have hatred towards other minorities. Remember what the Koreans had to do during the riots? No, naive Canadian shitheads just like to mouth off. And what is your fascination with Trump? Would you prefer Hillary?

            Better not say anymore because Canadians turn into crazed passive aggressive children whenever you challenge their “moral superiority”.

    • Stormin’ Norman

      Yeah, America won it. Canada made stories about it to bolster their lack of reputation.

  • Musah Sidibe

    The Republican Party is a fascist organization. It is a drip! drip!! towards fascism. It only needed a Hilter to complete the set. With Trump, they have one. God save the rest of us.

  • USA!

    I see the reasoning behind it.
    Trump 2016!

    p.s. for all you retarded people out there, this sarcasm

  • James

    You are all idots arguing about a war between us an canadaThe united States wants to build a wall across the Canadian US border however I believe it is us Canadians who are in need of building a border wall to protect our natural resources from the USA ect our fresh water our oil sands our timber and other natural resorses the US threaten to plunder the United States have destroid there own resources and the US war machine has showed and proven their willingness to start wars over oil siting 911 false flag operation to cover up there greed an need for oil an other resorces. Also the US arms coming into our country are a danger to our society as a whole. Now our number 1 priority should be to protect our country from the increasingly high threat level of the USA threat to our nation as a wholrwholr. There deficit and growing need for our natural resorces are increasingly threatening to us as Canadians. Now more than ever before we need to band together as Canadians to protect our nation for the future of Canada and our children’s futures please share and repost this to shed awareness of our countries need to protect our nation now before its to late and all we have is gone. Thank you all my fellow Canadians

    • USA!

      You are very not welcome at all. Shut up!

  • Howie Welden

    ”Something fishy is going on in the northern border” Well shit……. Gotta delete my internet browser history…… Don’t want anyone seeing the stuff I’ve been seeing,

  • DJ HappyCamper

    He really didn’t say this chit…LOL What an a$$. I have lived in both
    countries and am a Citizen of Both Countries, , , , Where the H3LL is
    Vana with a Clue for this man! He isn’t the President but is acting
    like he is. He needs a weekend of watching Canadian Bacon……Oh wait, maybe he needs both Vana and Pat to kick him a clue up the arse!

  • joe

    I wonder what Alaskans would say!!!

  • eric

    lol trump putin and china will crush your country. you will loose. sad you now this and wont be in the country when it happens and in your bunker like the rest of them.

    • USA!

      WE GOT A CHINA SUPPORTER HERE!

      Take him out CIA!

      • eric

        so is your mom.

        • USA!

          My mom is dead. You can’t just say things like that. Maybe you are Donald Trump.

          • eric

            yeah ok, go get your titty bottle.

      • eric

        hahaha china owns your country. hahahahaha. they will take you over soon.

  • Beat-ill-juice Matt S

    When I read the comments below, I am shocked by the ignorance and the constant resorting to violence from American posters. Evolve with the rest of us. I travel everywhere on Earth and America is the only one on the outside of an inside joke. As they are being poisoned, manipulated, divided and tax money drained from outside banking interests, there is always this feeling of Patriotism and toughness… which Einstein stated as “the measles of mankind”. You are being used to facilitate a dominant 1% who in the end will discard of you. They already started but falling education rankings clearly show you have no clue. Wake up and become a conscious human being connected to an Earth the created you.

  • USA!

    TRUMP FOR PRES. 2016

    thought this would be the perfect campaigning website

  • NATIONAL UNITY PARTY

    I CAN NOT BELIEVE the ignorance…. at some of these comments
    We came..we burnt down your ” white house ” , drank your piss ASS beer.., screwed your women.. looked around.. seen nothing else was of value.. & went home.., we took our time.. america.. has been at war since.. 114 wars in total… and still licking your wounds.. america fighters.., suck & gutless , just ask patton

    • Derek

      How do you not realize you are on a satire website reading made up shit?? Do you know what satire means? How dumb are you??!!

  • Dennis Opihory

    after justin trudeau gets through with canada ,donald trump will probably just annex it. he’ll call it the undeveloped northern territories

  •  Kevin Donald

    I found this artical very funny until I read the comments below (from both sides of the border) the real treat is Islam not each other. Canada effed up by voting in that idiot Trudeau (not me) I just hope Republicans win, Trump or Cruz.

    • sbs138

      “I just hope Republicans win, Trump or Cruz”.
      Thanks for just proving to everyone who the real idiot is. The answer is you.

  • karen

    Trump should grow up quit insulting people and crawl back into his worm hole. The U.S.A. are in trouble if that is the best person to represent them. Don’t care about what party he is!!

  • Mark

    Even if this site is satirical, posting absolute misinformation will be believed by many. The 9/11 hijackers came through Canada??? No they most certainly did not…and only a moron would think that too. They were all granted entry into the US from other countries. Besides, when did it become Canada’s responsibility to decide who enters the US anyway?

  • kikoredog .

    I would literally skull fk any of u turds that come up here for my country.

    • Derek

      How do you not realize you are on a satire website reading made up shit?? Do you know what satire means? How dumb are you??!

  • Cathy Blackall

    Maybe Mr.DUMP.. excuse me.. Trump (NO respect intended), should check the american history. They tried to take over Canada.. the war lasted one day and they ‘ran back’ to the US. *This guy is the BIGGEST horses ass in the whole US of A

  • Canoe2U

    forget 1812, really that was mostly the British. What is really most important to consider is that Canada has NEVER lost a war, while the USA has only been on the winning side of one war since WW2 and that was against Grenada. Then of course there may be a little tongue in cheek humour by Trump here, maybe.

  • Dennis Austin

    Is he even running for president?
    Looks to me like he just likes to talk about people he don’t like
    Case and point Syrian refugees, Mexicans, and now French Canadians why is he even given airtime and a mic?

  • Fiffied

    Trump, tu parles en sans-dessin! Toi et tes guerres de trou-du-cul. Viens t’en, je te manquerai pas.

  • Dawn

    The War of 1812 was a military conflict, lasting for two and a half years, fought by the United

    States of America against the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, its North American colonies and its Native American allies. Seen by the United States and Canada as a war in its own right, it is frequently seen in Europe as a theatre of the Napoleonic Wars, as it was caused by issues related to that war (especially the Continental System). The war resolved many issues which remained from the American Revolutionary War
    but involved no boundary changes. The United States declared war on
    June 18, 1812, for several reasons, including trade restrictions brought
    about by the British war with France, the impressment of US merchant sailors into the Royal Navy, British support for Native American tribes against European American expansion, outrage over insults to national honor after humiliations on the high seas, and possible US interest in annexing British territory.[4]

    The war was fought in three theatres. Firstly, at sea, warships and privateers of each side attacked the other’s merchant ships, while the British blockaded
    the Atlantic coast of the United States and mounted large raids in the
    later stages of the war. Secondly, land and naval battles were fought on
    the US–Canadian frontier, which ran along the Great Lakes, the Saint Lawrence River and the northern end of Lake Champlain. Thirdly, the Southern United States and Gulf Coast, which also saw large-scale battles. At the end of the war, both sides signed and ratified the Treaty of Ghent
    and, in accordance with the treaty, returned occupied land, prisoners
    of war and captured warships (though neither side returned the other’s
    warships due to frequent re-commissioning upon capture) to its pre-war
    owner and resumed friendly trade relations without restriction.

    With the majority of its land and naval forces tied down in Europe fighting the Napoleonic Wars, the British used a predominately defensive strategy in the Provinces of Upper and Lower Canada, although the first engagement of the war was a failed British offensive on New York. Early victories over poorly-led US armies, such as in the Battle of Queenston Heights,
    demonstrated that the conquest of the Canadas would prove more
    difficult than anticipated. Despite this, the US was able to inflict
    serious defeats on Britain’s Native American allies, ending the prospect
    of an Indian confederacy
    and an independent Native American state in the Midwest under British
    sponsorship. US forces were also able to make several gains and score
    victories on the Canadian frontier; taking control of Lake Erie in 1813 and seizing western parts of Upper Canada. However, a large-scale US attempt to capture Montreal was repulsed in November 1813. Despite the major US victory at Chippawa on July 5, 1814, serious US attempts to fully conquer Upper Canada were ultimately abandoned following the bloody Battle of Lundy’s Lane
    on July 25, 1814. The US then fell back roughly 30 km (18 mi) from
    Lundy’s Lane to Fort Erie, where they were pursued by the same units
    they engaged at Lundy’s Lane. The intention of the British was to “drive
    them [the Americans] from the Canadian side of the Niagara.” It turned
    out to be the final major battle fought on the Canadian side of the Canadian-American border (the last taking place at Malcolm’s Mills), ending in a retreat by both sides – with the British being ordered to move their artillery and troops back to Fort George
    near Lundy’s Lane in Niagara Falls “as soon as possible” and the
    Americans abandoning the fort and withdrawing over the Niagara.[5][6]

    In April 1814, with the defeat of Napoleon, the British adopted a
    more aggressive strategy, sending larger invasion armies and tightening
    their naval blockade. However, with the end of the Napoleonic Wars in
    Europe, both governments were eager for a return to normality and peace
    negotiations began in Ghent in August 1814. In the Deep South, General Andrew Jackson destroyed the military strength of the Muscogee (Creek) Nation at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend. In September 1814, the British won the Battle of Hampden, allowing them to occupy eastern Maine, and the British victory at the Battle of Bladensburg in August 1814 allowed them to capture and burn Washington, D.C.. They were repulsed, however, in an attempt to take Baltimore and Fort Bowyer, and during their assault at Fayal. An American victory in September 1814 at the Battle of Plattsburgh repulsed the British invasions of New York,
    which, along with pressure from merchants on the British government,
    prompted British diplomats to drop their demands at Ghent for an
    independent native buffer state and territorial claims that London
    previously sought. Given that it took six weeks for ships to cross the
    Atlantic, news of the peace treaty did not arrive before the British
    suffered a major defeat at New Orleans in January 1815. [7]

    In the United States, late victories over invading British armies at
    the battles of Plattsburg, Baltimore (inspiring their national anthem, “The Star-Spangled Banner”) and New Orleans produced a sense of euphoria over a “second war of independence” against Britain.[8][9] The war ended on a high note for Americans, winning the final engagements of the war and bringing an “Era of Good Feelings” in which partisan animosity nearly vanished in the face of strengthened American nationalism. The war was also a major turning point in the development of the US military.
    The poor performance of several US militia units, particularly during
    the 1812–13 invasions of Canada and the 1814 defense of Washington,
    convinced the US government of the need to move away from its
    Revolutionary-era reliance on militia and focus on creating a more professional regular force. Spain was involved in fighting in Florida but was not an official belligerent; some Spanish forces fought alongside the British during the Occupation of Pensacola. The US took permanent ownership of Spain’s Mobile District.

    In Upper and Lower Canada, British and local Canadian militia victories over invading US armies became iconic
    and promoted the development of a distinct Canadian identity, which
    included strong loyalty to Britain. Today, particularly in Ontario,
    memory of the war retains its significance, because the defeat of the
    invasions ensured that the Canadas would remain part of the British
    Empire, rather than be annexed by the United States. In Canada, numerous
    ceremonies took place in 2012 to commemorate the war, offer historical
    lessons and celebrate 200 years of peace across the border.[10]
    The conflict has not been commemorated on nearly the same level in the
    modern-day United States, though it is still taught as an important part
    of early American history,[11] and Dolley Madison’s and Andrew Jackson’s respective roles in the war are especially emphasized.[12][13] The war is scarcely remembered in Britain, being heavily overshadowed by the much larger Napoleonic Wars occurring in Europe.

  • northrod5

    Bring it on Donny boy, the last time we set fire to the White House and sent your government running for the hill country. Az yee been dwinkin a little too much ale there bae?

    • Derek

      This is satire you dingbat….trump never said any of this…it’s all made up.

  • northrod5

    We will kick your asses south of the Mason/Dixon line.

  • LanceEddy

    I am a Canadian living in England. I listened to a radio phone in last week about the sayings of Donald Trump.

    The premise of the programme was a quiz on which Trump-ets were read out on air. We had to determine which were true and which completely fictional. The quotes came in batches of 3 and listeners were invited to text in which one was true. Seven batches, 21 quotes in total, were read out over 45 minutes.

    I was flummoxed. All seemed equally bizarre. No listener got the right answers.

    The presenter then announced the quotes were all true Trump-ets!

  • Older_postie

    If this were for real, Donald Trump would have ended with the statement that ” the Canadians love me and are looking forward to my presidency, so I can make them great too”.

  • Cal Bowman

    Are you really that stupid??? It’s satire you moron

  • Bryn Gomer

    we dont need this kind of garbage junk “journalism” , intended to merely smear someone. its irresponsible.

  • sylvain

    1 thing to say , canada is the original name of Québec province , so canada always existed since 1534 until british stoled it from us in 1867 naming us lower canada and the rest uper canada , without the french and the indian they would have won in 1812 but hey the french sucks…all i have to say is take canada all you want mr trump we in Québec we dont care but good luck taking us with them 😉 canada been trying to colonised us since the 18 century and we are still fighting

  • Kevin A

    You think so? You can’t even get a few terrorists, nevermind take over Canada.
    What a piece of swirly cow manure

    • Wendy Jenkins

      Please! This was just a joke someone wrote. All this talk makes canadians look pretty dumb!

  • Kevin A

    Good luck with that. Every 2nd house in Canada owns multiple firearms, and we actually can aim and are not retarded.
    Try it

  • Brian M

    Canada will burn down the white house but this time you won’t get a chance to rebuild .we also bomb the S out of all thinks named Trump .trump will be trumped

  • HE NEVER SAID THAT!

  • Bryn Riley

    NEWS FLASH. They did not come through Canada. Some were in your country and the rest flew in from EUROPE> NO one came through Canada. As for 1812, the US is seriously lacking any correct information about it. Trump is lying through his teeth, just look it up to see how wrong he is. That is if you can handle the truth and not the fear mongering he is getting away with. He will not start a war with Canada, that would put the US against the world, Commonwealth countries will help us. Like Britain, Ireland, Australia and many more. Does the US really want to start a war because it gives Trump an excuse to lie?

    • Wendy Jenkins

      Are people really getting themselves all worked up over a political funny paper? This is not real, Trump never made these comments. Slow down people!

      • Yeah but it’s actually kind of funny seeing the amount of retards who got trolled over this fake article. It’s even funnier when you see people keyboard flexing on how they defeated someone in a war they never fought/won/even know the history of or how they’re ready to go to war.

        I’m actually going to subscribe to this site for now on. If this site trolls stupid people like that often, then it’s better than anything on Comedy Central.

  • Bryn Riley

    NEWS FLASH. They did not come through Canada. Some were in your country
    and the rest flew in from EUROPE> NO one came through Canada. As
    for 1812, the US is seriously lacking any correct information about it.
    Trump is lying through his teeth, just look it up to see how wrong he
    is. That is if you can handle the truth and not the fear mongering he is
    getting away with. He will not start a war with Canada, that would put
    the US against the world, Commonwealth countries will help us. Like
    Britain, Ireland, Australia and many more. Does the US really want to
    start a war because it gives Trump an excuse to lie? The WH was burned down by the Brits in 1814 during that war, do they really think taking on the world is a smart idea? IF he hates Canada so much, we will take back our hockey, football, baseball, basketball players, world class actors, producers, directors, singers, our doctors, nurses and everyone else and see how you do on your own. If you hate the world so much put your own wall up and we will all be cheering you on, just dont expect us to pay for it.

  • Common Sense

    THIS IS ONION BULLSHIT.
    Trump 2016

  • Timmy Withyman

    Either way, why can’t we still live the way we are right now. Instead of killing innocent of lives. Is there something wrong the way we’re living now?

    • Wendy Jenkins

      It’s just a joke! This is a political satire, Trump never said these things.

  • Lesley Henson

    I really think Donald Trump has gone insane!!! Has anybody had him tested? There are great doctors in Canada, Mexico, France, Middle east, China…. LMAO!!!!!

  • Richard Lavoie

    you just try it there trump dummy,see how it will work out for you. and for the record just when i think you said the dumbest thing ever,you open your mouth again. guess it’s true you can’t fix stupid.

    • Derek

      Can’t fix stupid, yep…kinda like you are stupid for believing this political satire is real….wow. Feel that? That is you realizing how dumb you are. 🙂

      • Richard Lavoie

        you my friend are as dumb as the day is long,think for second before you engage,your not even giving this man a chance because of the media,you don’t believe in yourself on bit to say something like that.i presume your choice was hillary,man you are bough and sold like an idiot,you’re right,can’t fix stupid and i certainly enjoy watching stupid like you worry over nothing. you can’t change it but you bully others who don’t agree with you,how sad you never learned to agree to dis agree. you would of been a better person for it.

        • Derek

          Why the hell are you replying to me after 8 months no less?? I replied to your “trump dummy” comment and called you out about not realizing this article was fake. How on earth would that give you any indication I would vote for kunt like Killary??

  • Warren Spence

    That’s just like shooting yourself. Canada is not going to go down easy. United Nations will jump in and other countries that hate the States and this will start WWIII.

    • Wendy Jenkins

      Its a joke! A political satire, like the funny paper, Trump never said these comments. Come on people, you don’t know what you’re reading? Arguing over a satire, sad.

  • Yona Maru

    I like how Hockey-mongering bastards try to make Canada sound relevant in a war haha.

    Stick to whiskey and horseback riding by keeping your fucking mouth shut.. So take a seat at your little U.N chair and stop pretending to be more than you really are.. This is satire and hypothetical.. Let’s not turn this roast into a murder.

  • Robert Abbott

    We Canadians have beat you Americans Four times already. While we have gun control does not mean we don’t have guns and we know how to shoot them. In the last ten years our special forces have beaten your special forces every time.

    Besides the American invasion of Canada in 1775, and continued
    fighting throughout the War of 1812, Canada has faced American invasion
    on several other occasions.

    1. The Dickson Filibuster // 1836

    2. The Patriot War // 1837–1838
    3. The Fenian Raids // 1866–1871

    All of them failed.

  • Wizzy1

    The name ‘Canada’ originates from the aboriginal word ‘kanata’ for land, village, or settlement.
    The explorer Jacques Cartier was the first to use it on an expedition
    in 1535 up the St. Lawrence River. The Iroquois used the word kanata to
    tell Cartier about the route to the village of Stadacona. They referred
    to it by using the Huron-Iroquois word for settlement or village.
    Cartier used the word for the entire area, and the name ‘Canada’ was
    soon applied to the area north of the St. Lawrence River. Cartier
    referred to the river as the riviere de Canada, and this name was in use
    until the early 17th century. While the region was called New France,
    the areas along the Gulf of St. Lawrence and the river were known under
    the name Canada.

    Fur traders and explorers soon moved to territories to the south and
    west, and the area known as ‘Canada’ grew. In the early 18th century,
    the name was used for all lands that are now part of the American
    Midwest. The first time ‘Canada’ was used as an official name was in 1791. Then
    Quebec was divided into two colonies – of Lower and Upper Canada. The
    two colonies were united in 1841 and named the Province of Canada. They
    were then known as Canada East and Canada West and had a common
    legislature. The country was named Canada at the time of Confederation in 1867.
    The new Dominion was called the Dominion of Canada until after the
    Second World War. The form of confederation was first debated at
    conferences held in London. The delegates sought to determine how the
    Province of Nova Scotia, the Province of New Brunswick, and the Province
    of Canada were to be united. Then, a delegate from New Brunswick or
    Nova Scotia proposed the name Canada. Other names were also suggested,
    including Borealia, Albionoria, Colonia, Efisga, and Mesopelagia. The
    name Canada was unanimously accepted with little discussion. Walter
    Bagehot, an English journalist, essayist, and businessman argued that
    the country should be named Anglia or Northland instead of Canada. In
    response, the Irish journalist, Catholic spokesman, and nationalist
    Thomas D’Arcy McGee asked how people would feel if they found themselves
    being Hochelegander or Tuponian. The first Prime Minister of Canada,
    John Macdonald proposed the name ‘Kingdom of Canada’ at the
    Charlottetown Conference of 1864. The word kingdom would refer to the
    united provinces of New Brunswick, Quebec, Nova Scotia, and Ontario. The
    founders of Canada argued in favour of this name as to establish a
    monarchical basis for the new constitution.

    The name Dominion of Canada was used until the 1950s when Canada gained
    autonomy and political authority. The Canada Act of 1982 marks a
    transition away from the use of Dominion of Canada and refers only to
    Canada. The British North America Acts also stipulate that Canada shall
    be taken as the official name of the country.

  • senspride

    That guy is nothing more than a blow fish, all be it a dangerous one, who is pandering to the lowest IQ ,brain dead ,gun slinging red necks and will say anything to get attention. There are so many holes in his little rant including his obvious lack of knowledge of history . Thanks for my morning laugh blowhard.

    • Derek

      You’re dumber than a bucket of hair. This article is political satire…you are on a satire website…shame on you for being so dumb you dmfail to realize that this is not real!

  • Bryan Durante

    someone also want to tell this arrogant Paulverizer that Canada built the best fighter jet CF-105 in 1960 which put the American planes to shame. Well more advanced than the Americans had back in those days and they had them stop production.

  • Melo Gardener

    You crazy Americans, Canadians not only won the war of 1812, they also burned down your first White house and handed it back to you … lol lol and after you stole our Avro Arrow plane you’re not stealing anything again let alone our country or our oil…lol lol unless you want Canadians to burn your White house down a second time??? Hmmmm lol lol lol

  • Melo Gardener

    Lol lol ahhh Trump…you are a twit…this is too funny ….. you are going to attack us because of our beady little eyes….yah something is going on in Canada and it is a lot of Brainy people that you hear noise from….we aren’t sleeping away while a dictator Islamist is destroying your country because he is a whiney spoiled musi married to a tranny…lol lol…. and no one down their in your pc left loonie bin Dems knows what is really going on anywhere…while they slaughter, behead, enslave and cannibalize the Middle east Christians, Jews and Yazidis with the ISIS that your leader created feeds, arms and helps to kill…you talking about beady eyes or people who just don’t know nothing about their history huh???? lol lol lol and none of you knew that creepy Obama is killing you off after he is done with the Christians in ME…only that doesn’t make me laugh cause I got friends in America and they don’t deserve a mad musi in the White house…but, hey maybe you need some help burning it down again…lol lol lol Canadians remember how it was done the first time and most of you guys don’t know you lost the War of 1812…lol ,lolol

    • Wendy Jenkins

      You do know that this post is a joke right, and I don’t mean as in funny, haha, but as in political satire, like a comic, this is not an actual quote from Trump. You do know this don’t you?

  • Melo Gardener

    You crazy Americans, Canadians not only won the war of 1812, they also burned down your first White house and handed it back to you … lol lol and after you stole our Avro Arrow plane you’re not stealing anything again let alone our country or our oil…lol lol unless you want Canadians to burn your White house down a second time??? Hmmmm lol lol lol

  • don carnes

    sssssssorry to burst bubbles Canada existed 1700 when my fuckin ancestors left the usa and britain. and natives on this land taught us all we needed to know to servive newfoundland then to the west across this vacant land as freeman on the land Empire Loyalists/
    knights templars

  • don carnes

    also ancestors died because we were invaded over greed for land, but they were driven back across the river.

  • sharon mateo

    yea you better get it right we canadian in the war of 1812 were the only country to get to your
    white house and we burned that shit down we kicked your asses and it took a women who was on this side that came and told us you were comeing and do you really think you came over again we wouldnt fit again you still have a hell of a war to fit to get our country you also for get that you candy asses didnt get into the second world war till you guys were pulled in it and had no choice we were fitting that war with britain way before you assholes got into it

    • Derek

      You’re this angry over a satire article? Wow you are one crazy bitch…this shit is fake, stupid woman.

      • Don’t try to use logic with fanatical retards. It’s bad enough that people believe anything hear on TV without researching it. It’s even worse when these morons believe anything they hear over the interwebs.

  • sharon mateo

    another thing u can push a canidian but once you get us against a wall watch out then you will find out what were all about

  • sharon mateo

    o you also forget that we still have britian tell trump he is still going to be the laughing stock of the world if u dummies put him in there hahahahaha

  • sharon mateo

    give him your purse thats prob all he will do go at hahahaha

  • sharon mateo

    give him your purse thats all he will prob do good at hahahaha

  • Aaron Vadovic

    Who cares? Are we really supposed to be afraid of an attention whore who thinks beaver pelts are pellets?

  • rick

    Trump is such an idiot for this

    • Derek

      Lol you think this is real?! Satire, dumbass. SATIRE.

      • rick

        Ok calm your bitch ass down son

        • Derek

          You’re literally getting all worked up on a satire website over a fake story. How does it feel to be so damn stupid? Lol

          • rick

            Yeah i had to quit my job over it

  • Mark McGovern

    Yeah bring it on dude! We’ll lay a class act Beaver Pelt over that hurtin’ cranium. Lipstick on a pig but improvement nonetheless.

  • Hojo

    This joke article is so damned lazy, it’s the equivalent of the kid whose sense of humor relies on coming up with unrealistic situations that no one can relate to, while playing out an awkward and unfunny dialogue, and then laughing at it while the audience is left bewildered and impatient.

  • Hojo

    PS: Air Force, not Airforce holy shit.

  • ab lafontain

    What a joke. The USA does not need to go to wat with us. They already own 75% on Canada. What a joke. Canada would be much better off in all ways if we added ten more states to the USA.

  • Gary More

    i really don’t think trump would even think of such a thing. this is just a smear tactic of a terrified demcrat party, that knows they are gone soon.

  • Iain Simpson

    Canada is the only Nation that has defeated the USA.

  • Terri Cook

    Hey Trump! All we have to do is erase the word Canada from all your maps and you would have no fucking clue where to find us! Screw you, you ugly orange racist freak.

    • Derek

      Do you know what satire is? You fail to realize you are on a satire website. You are dumb and gullible.

  • Richard Rehsler

    Donald Trump is an actor and a con man (sorta like this article) not a politician. He does, however, personify everything that is wrong with America in 2016. Oh, and for those of you who are not really aware, he is only running to make Hillary Rodzinski (her real name) look good and probably get elected. All for promotion of the New World Order where there will only be two categories – filthy rich and slaves.

  • Matthew Renaud

    This is not real you fucking morons.

  • Benny Basanni

    Don’t forget – Canadians burned down your Whitehouse once already- we could do it again

  • We should keep our eyes on every nation to keep us safe from jealousy! We need to start manufacturing of goods to be more independent and keep a good eye on other nations that want to take us down as we protect nations people from human rights violations! Keeping the peace for people of communistic dictators. We can start having a government of true free capitalism with the LORDS Blessings! NO Sharia law!GOD SAVE AMERICA!

  • ahewitson69

    If Trump really believes and supports this rubbish, we are having the wrong discussion about 1812…

  • NJ

    Does the phrase “Manifest Destiny” ring any bells … ?

  • Henry Geskes

    The banter I’ve read here is laughable. It’s a fake article, who cares?

    And regardless of opinion on countries aren’t colonies, the argument does sound like (some of) the Canadians on this thread are talking down to Americans. Whether that’s right or wrong, unfortunately, much of the world view Americans in some negative light. Which is misplaced, as I’ve met many US born citizens (I’m Canadian), and they’re good, hard working people like us.

    The US leaders, work in a fixed political system, which is more oligarchic than democratic, and its Military actions, for example “freeing” Iraq from tyrannus rule, basically wanting oil that wasn’t theirs, all gives the US an image to others that can be characterized in many a negative context.

    And not by accident no doubt. “Divide and Conquer”. Wars are good for politics, because if we aren’t at war, then we’re talking to each other, and if that were to happen long enough on a scale like world peace, governments would be overthrown, the special interests they serve would dissolve, borders would disappear, and soon after the monetary system with it. This is a necessary social evolution for humans to exist for much longer. Much longer being say, as little as 500 years. Finite resources will collide with an infinite growth paradigm, it’s mathematically inevitable. Politicians know this, but being in cahoots with oil companies, food and drug producers, and the like, they have it good and comfortable. Let future generations figure it out.

    This thread is an excellent example of people doing what they have been conditioned to do, be xenophobic. Arguing semantics of a battle they didn’t participate in, stemming from an article that’s entirely satire. I hope even just one of you reads this, and breaks the cycle of xenophobic tendencies, so as future generations will have a better chance of getting along, globally, with all our brethren here on earth. So the imaginary borders our ancestors fought so hard over, thought of as necessary in our development as a species, to disappear and evolve our social construct.

  • ednutz

    In case you forgot , look it up we have kicked your arse once before!!!!!!

  • Paul Murphy

    I think you guys on both sides are dingbats – the Indians and Inuit (Eskimos) are the original peoples in both countries and neither have ever given up that notion. My friends say “welcome to our country”

  • Paul Murphy

    Please remember this is all a farce. You people of the United States (I refuse to say Americans as there is more to America than just the US) will probably vote in the Trump/Palin team anyway and then where will you be?

  • Wendy Jenkins

    I hope before anyone posts a ridiculous comment on this thread, that they realize that this is political satire, it’s all just a joke folks, Trump never made these statements.

  • besttimeline

    hahha its hilarious having the Americans argue till they are blue in the face that Canada didnt exist as a country, which it actually did as many have pointed out in this topic. All to just cover up the fact they got their asses handed to them in 1812 by Canada. Oh Canada bitches lol

  • andre

    i dare em to come up here we will fuck u up u yankee war loving terrorist

  • Mike page

    Trump you are a fucking war head stupid mother fucker…. What a disconected humain being you are i mean you want to use other countries to raise and shine ? What you can’t do it by yourself? If you as good and as strong as you say then you’ll find a way to raise that country and really be the strongest cause you did it by yourself…… Mike Page. French canadian who needs me?

    • Derek

      Pretty sure you are the stupid motherfucker…you’re on a satire website, dummy!

  • Susette Jones

    I thought

  • Susette Jones

    I thought the whole thing was hilarious and I’m a Canadian. One thing though , the word is pelts not pellets.

  • steve

    destroy this claim my friends are american. this is a fear tactic

  • Reid King

    Ummm, ya 1812… we kicked you ass and you know it.( check the real history books ) We pushed your troops south of your White house and we burned it down and went drinking. When the repairs were done to your White house you had to white wash it.. that’s where the name the Whitehouse came from. There was only 1 prisoner taken during the whole war. It was an American who slept though the battle. Picked him up on the way home.

  • jamesfilshie

    i cant believe you freakin moron actually believe this crap,its a joke you bloody idiots

  • Neil Russell

    I don’t suggest he try and invade Canada. We have a secret weapon, JUSTIN TRUDEAU !!

  • Ken Bullock

    what a dick weed Trump is I guess he needs a reminder of the war of 1812 we kicked their asses then and burnt the first American Capital to the ground As a Canadian we may be polite, but never under estimate out good nature cause if push came to shove we could well take over the hole USA and make north america Canada

    • Derek

      Jesus you are stupid…do you realize you are on a satire website? Do yourself a favor, break out a dictionary and look up the definition of the word…

  • Moparman

    I could see the USA doing that they love war and they love starting wars because they are the greedy most hated country in the world Canada is and always will be a better country then the USA will ever be

  • Johnny Leafs

    You guys lost both wars vs Canada. Don’t F with us.

  • Johnny Leafs

    Here in Canada our government doesn’t fly planes into towers and blame it on imaginary middle eastern people hiding in mountains.

    • Cristina Diana

      No, but I’m sure we can agree that Harper was a little too friendly to American models and that the shooting at parliament was nicely addressed by the NDP in a speech around the time he questioned the neutrality of the house. There was also a secondary incident in the west end of Ottawa at the Tangers outlet that looked a little fishy. Right after Mr. White was promoted from Ottawa Police chief Durham to Canadian political senator the same month a fleet vehicle purchase was made that cost a lot in extra modifications that shouldn’t have been necessary, and now the 1.3% bonus to police officers on all new infrastructure……… Sadly we have several departments that play with statistics in order to gain more money, including social services, courts, and social services. It’s still costly, just thankfully far fewer casualties.

  • Johnny Leafs

    So Mr Trump. Should we burn your Trump Tower in Toronto now or later?

  • stevereistad

    He’s joking people! Relax ffs!

  • ZeeXenon
  • LouiseShah

    Dear Mr. Trump: It’s American border guards who are responsible for letting people into the USA, or denying them entry. It’s not Canada’s responsibility. Canadian boarder guards are responsible for who is allowed to enter Canada.

    • Cristina Diana

      I believe that changed under the Harper administration. I will have to look into it further.

  • Frances Barbara Fraser

    The last battle of the War of 1812 was fought just outside my door so I really have no desire for a rerun. other than the Bundy’s and their ilk i think most Americans might find this war idea distasteful
    However I would be interested to know how he would build his wall through the great Lakes and across the shipping channels which give access to the interior of your country.
    Elizabeth Freeman, i agree.

  • Larry Davi

    I think the Canadians have been plotting against us for quite some time. but ya gotta hand it to them; first they send us Bobby Hull, Stan Makita, and Eric Nesterenko, and Chicago wins the Stanley Cup for the first time in a zillion years. then they send Neil Young [Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young] and music aficionados will be forever grateful. but then they send us Rafael Cruz. Oh Joy! Now Rafael must think he is playing the role, of a modern day Joseph, because he think Ted is the second coming of “You-Know-Who”. What the hell did we ever do to Canada, to deserve this?

  • blueskunk12

    Confused by #3. Are Canadian beavers shooting pellet guns, or are Americans feeding Canadian beavers? Now if we were talking about beaver pelts…

  • Susan Loyer

    I have duel citiezen and i love the states i use to spend my childhood traveling down the usa most of the time .to see trump speaking this way is just sad he forgets that canada goes and fights and brings back up when ever the americans need it i pray to god he doesnt get in because he will fuck the states in the ass hard core and will destroy them ….

    • Derek

      Satire…it’s satire you dumb bitch…do you even know what site you are on?? Holy shit you are ignorant.

  • Dave Constable

    Just a small point about Canada as a nation and Canadians.
    My Paternal grandfather was born and raised in Toronto, as was my father.
    When I was born in 1941 (remember how autonomous we were then?) my legal status was ‘subject of the British Empire.’
    In the late 1940’s our parliament gave us something called ‘Canadian national.’
    Our citizenship designation was promulgated by our parliament in the mid 1960’s.

  • Cherish

    My take on all is the U.S. just formed and the settlers that all travelled far( in which many lost loved ones in the travel ) to make something for their families and their selves! They then faced being thrown in the mix between a war they were not interested in. If you’re pushed around and bullied, natural you either keep submitting or stand ground!! Watch the video.. I will also add that I do believe they went beyond trying to invade Canada, but it absolutely was not against the Canadians for it was still at that time a British colony. And ruled by Britain. Seems to me that both Canada and the US gained respect and most freedom. God bless Canada and the USA!!

    http://www.history.com/topics/war-of-1812/videos/americans-and-british-face-off-in-war-of-1812

  • Ac Smith

    OMG Are you really this ignorant??? That article is from “Satira Tribune” SATIRA is latin for SATIRE! It was a joke… A JOKE! You really can’t be that naive and ignorant, well I guess you actually can. The website makes up all sorts of SATIRE ARTICLES. Go to the website and read the ones about OBAMA they are a HOOT! Come on people use that empty space between your ears a bit. geezzss!

  • Dan Goldsmith

    It’s Minus 30 Celsius here today. Please put me in a POW camp in Florida or Hawaii

  • clayton

    Didn’t we burn down the Whitehouse? We did.

    • Isaiah Quill Varan

      and we will do it again

  • Glen John Wilson

    I beleive Canada is still British Commonwealth you guys want to be careful lol

  • Isaiah Quill Varan

    7- To get his ass kicked by us
    8-To get fucked up by us
    9-to burn down the White house
    10- To kill Donald Trump

    • Derek

      It’s satire, you dumb son of a bitch! Do you know what that word means??

      • It’s kind of scary to know that people like those actually breed and vote.

  • Cristina Diana

    Canadians suffer financial losses when Americans go to war. We choose not to survive by Wal-Marts and slurpees. We make better beer. We can turn right on red lights. We believe in regulating hazardous materials, not just making it look like we do. We are kind, and not racist bigots. Just because you ruin your land doesn’t mean you need to find more turf, it means you need to take care of what you have. I am one step away from contacting parliament because of the hazards America imposes to Canada. I will be damned if we lose our identity to Yankees. Every time we call in American consultants we suffer in the long term. The American models are completely unsustainable. The US crime rates are off the charts and watching the US today is like watching the movie Idiocracy. Canada is already invaded and taken over thanks to the stupid conservative administration. Going to war with us would literally be like going to war with your better half, literally. How stupid can you be? I mean really. You had better learn to back off, because the rest of the world shames America. The entire planet is one step away from putting you in your place, and there is now a new reserve currency. Honestly, the US is viewed as terrorists world wide, and nobody wants to visit. Every single country speaks highly of Canadian tourists, and negatively of American. I have met some super amazing Americans, but the group mentality is generally pretty abysmal. American vulture funds and foreign policy can’t be fixed with a new face and will never be forgotten. Given the multicultural status of Canada, if you wage war with us, you are not only waging on yourselves, you are waging war on the rest of the world. We are pretty good at staying out of other people’s business because we don’t need the drama. I have spoken with many Americans that are straight up embarassed of their heritage. Maybe, just maybe if you’re so concerned about people attacking you all the time, you should stop pissing people off. You get more bees with honey than you do with vinegar. You have no idea how embarassing it is to be your neighbors. Even Israel seems to mock the US regarding the middle East, and it seems rightfully so. Why they help Israel so much after the USS Liberty I don’t know (possible valkyrie). If you want to come here and enjoy some poutine and smell some freedom you are more than welcome to. Heaven knows you are notorious for junk food. Just go home when you’re done and stop buying out our businesses to shut them down and open your own. We should cut off your fresh water, and laugh while your country goes bankrupt. Laughing stock of the planet, attacking Canada. Bring us some more honey boo boo. That is a whole new level of stupid.

  • Darrell Payette

    This is for my fellow Canadians who don’t believe Trump wants our land and to control us.

  • Kevin Conrad

    I have been across Canada and back. I have brought up the possibilities of war on Canada and the military may one aspect of war. The general Society as a whole only see the Canadian image as being overly polite. Yes we are nice as people but the other side to that coin is a very different matter that should be considered. Anyone who decides that it would be “OK” to invade is deeply mistaken. Not only would any invader be faced with the military but piss off a Canadian and their livelihood, they better be prepared for the angry Canadian. We are ruthless and we will band together and destroy any attacker if need be. Also having the moose, beavers and bears on our side is a little help. 😉

  • Michael Dollard

    This is alll BS. I heard him say many times Canada is our best friend & no wall is needed.

  • JMB

    Lol try it!!! You’ll all see how fast the world is sick of this American pipe dream,,,,,, Russia would join in along with China and most of the world, and it would mark the end of the American empire…..I just hope the nukes aren’t dropped too close to this beautiful country of ours…… Either way the end of America is within eye sight, and what a beautiful sight it is

  • Matt

    #makedonalddrumphagain

  • robertyoungph

    Really? Trump must be crazy.

  • Dickin’s Cider

    Has anyone caught onto the fact this site is names Satir-a Tribune? It’s a Satire site!

  • ajax

    he never said that ffs

  • ajax

    he is going to work *with* canada on security

  • ajax

    go to war with canada haha, whoever belives that , there is is no hope for you

  • Tee

    All Satire so does it matter?

  • Cat-astrophe

    LOL, he could crush our Communist leaders and rescue common sense here to!!

  • I would support a war with Canada, I also think it is terrible we allow mexican migrants to suffer the indignation of coyotes on thr souther boarder. The Mexican people have been begging for US:Mexican intervention for generations, I support a war to liberate the Mexican people from a cartel run government, over this ME garbage…Bomb Canada & Mexico! Trump 2016!

  • sadie dehahn

    what a fucking dumbass, the saddest part is he has followers. I’m no fortune teller, but its clear if he’s elected USA is screwed! He’s not the next president, he’s the next Hitler! But hey whos cares how many innocent people get killed because of you,
    as long as you can hide behind the secret service, right?

  • Maple_Syrup_queen

    lool we would win that war, americans would prob die of heat stroke because they are to stupid to realize we dont live in a winter wasteland and they would come in full winter suits

  • LJ

    What the hell are beaver pellets?

  • Phoenix Matchez Charbonneau

    Lmfao ok trump. You have to be one of the dumbest fucking people ever. Go ahead declare war on canada. We’ll have the full support of the U.N and every country whos ass weve saved ever to aid us. Including the middle east that u guys fucked up. So ya go ahead and try, its a real good way to get america wiped off the map by every other country in the world lol. Lets make americans even more hated and targeted abroad lol

  • disqus_FZWhrFWrSv

    Is that guy for real……

  • Santana Norstrom

    bring it on, we have a lot of friends, that hate Americans too.

  • frankgrimes78

    He really is the stupidest man in politics right now, and we all know that is a monumental accomplishment if you’re a complete jackass. Yes Drumpf. Any aggression towards us would give every last country the US pisses off the chance at a proxy war on YOUR turf. They’d utilize our geography the same way we did when we mopped the floor with the US. Except they’d annihilate the US population and take it for themselves, it’s be half China, half Russia. So bring it on moron.

  • James Dunphy

    Don’t worry. In canada we might be small to face against america. But we not alone. And all nato more likely will join canada side not america. They will lose all allies if america attacked canada. We will bring whole world army everything they got put on canada soil. And let russia join us. Canada and Mexico will attack america on all side. Don’t be fear america highest is an possible that America will take over canada I don’t think so. Both side are best friends half america will join with us not with trump. It won’t works. Many america are part of canada who love canada. They will help protect us we will protect them america think canada weak. Wrong! Trump forgot that UK france others will send huge ships to land on our soil. We can burn down white house like we did once last 1812 around that year. But I know in my heart america soldier and all family would tell trump no way! We will not attack canada. They are our friend. We even fought many wars together die together. Trump will lose anyways. Hey america if trump win you would support him to take over our country canada?? We are your most closest allies!?

  • Killpigs

    I think Canada should ask America to occupy it. I’m Canadian. Hopefully not for too long though

  • James Dunphy

    We might were not canada that year but tell me how we become canada? We came from Britain and France we were fought as Britain and france. So now look at us. We all canada now. We still part of them so it mean america will have to face great Britain and France if america attack on canada soil. Who do you think will came to us first protect us? Great Britain and France of coruse. America will lose. Most our nato will more likely will be on our sides not america. Think about it. Mexico would join canada side. We will attack back america from North Mexico will attack america from South than all great Britain and other nato will attacked on america from West and east side. Imaging that . Ohh trump would ran and hide. So please think twice. America you cannot handle all side. I belives one or two will able broke through your line from North or south or west or east it depends. Million america will die. Think it worth it? No. Of coruse not. As canada we don’t want see that happening to america we both side very strong allies. So why harms each other.? It would be even awesome and even better if Canada america Mexico training together and set up strong defances all our front water all way north canada side and all the way to Mexico south 3 country as one. Ohh…. we would be most powerfully allies in the world! We could built all side our froces built more ships planes all cross america canada even mexico. We can protect 3 country together. We all are in middle ocean! That I would do. Just a images that all. Would be nice eh? Lol

  • qawii3 .

    And we burned Washington! Hey, BTW, this website stinks “Yankee.” You tarred and feathered the Loyalists ( your “fellow citizens” ) and now you are playing politics again. Trump may be bad but not as bad as you secular humanists who hate Christians (the next “Jews” to be imprisoned and …who knows … maybe tarred and feathered or maybe burnt at the stake ..or you could get some of your Islamic “refugees” to behead them.

  • Edward B. Connolly

    Canada?? Invade Canada?? Gee, I don’t even know what street Canada’s on!

  • Clever article, but the comments of a great many your readers are BRUTAL. ‘Sup with that? I’ll settle it: EVERYBODY’s mother wears army boots, okay?

  • John Kasian

    I agree with him-But Don should be worried the French will demand the Statue from him.

  • Cassidy

    trump should be put down like the mad dog he is or send this ashole to Russia and let Putin the murder take care of him.

  • CAAAANAAAADAAAAAA

    what is wrong with this man. canada kicked the usa’s ass in 1812. i am i die hard canadian and heres what i say.
    WE DID IT IN 1814, WE DO IT AGAIN IF THIS BUFFON BECOMES PRESIDENT!! #MAKETHEWHITEHOUSEBURNAGAIN

  • Seifer Viau

    Trump is retarded. We Canadians aren’t “planning” anything. Get over yourself. We are human, so stop trying to dehumanize us. We’re just peaceful people that like maple syrup on everything.

  • RickRavenRumey

    He never said any of this. What shitbag dreamed this up?

    • Anony_Mouse58

      Seriously dude? It’s satire, on a satire website? You can’t tell the difference between satire and “shitbags” dreaming shit up? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that you are in the basket of deplorables, aren’t you? Because you all seem to be sharing the same 3 brain cells.

  • Cassidy

    canada would be better off not belonging to the murdering brits and go alone as we would save billions of dollars that these sickos get from our tax dollars to there ugly so called queen and to belong to there sick commonwealth and do shit for Canadians who they call, “COMMONERS.” I would rather be called a Commoner than A MURDERING FUCKING Brit. BASTARD THAT THE BRITS ARE.

  • Bob Caille

    perhaps someone needs a nap?

  • Anony_Mouse58

    This is literally the worst thread in the history of the internet. Pat yourselves on the back.

  • LaBloć DuDerp

    Canada has numerous allies and it is likely the UN will back Canada cause the US is the one attacking

  • Hypocritesnotwelcome

    Good way for Americans to get hurt

  • izraulhidashi

    The last time America was great was before rich asshole white people. The only way to make it great again is to go back in time and BUILD A WALL.

  • izraulhidashi

    How ironic that he spent years crying for Obama to release his Birth Certificate but he refuses to releases his taxes. Rich prissy pussies who have never experienced how the rest of live should never be allowed decide anything for us. The people need a real person, not phony bitches who game the system and feed off the struggling. Then have nerve put them down for it.

    The 1st President of this country was a piece of shit British Colonel in the British army, who collected taxes for the crown. He flew the 1st and real American flag, “The Grand Union”. 13 stripes in the Crown King colors of Red White and Blue. The only difference today is Stars replace the Union Jack. 13 Stripes remain and still people are too stupid to figure out what the rich white assholes really did. Figure out why Washington DC isn’t a state, and how it got it’s name and you’ll see why it was named after a British Colonel.

    DC, is a District of Columbia, not Columbia as in South America, but as in BC, British Columbia. Shouldn’t be that god damn hard to figure out, and yet… it is.

    MASS STUPIDITY! It’s a greater threat to us than any Terrorism.

  • izraulhidashi

    A man who still hasn’t figured out that ISIS (Israeli Secret Intelligence Service) is behind all these attacks, in order to frame Muslims. They count on US stupidity to get away with it, and so far it’s working out pretty well for them.

    Maybe people need a history lesson on the USS Liberty, or maybe they just doesn’t care. The perfect storm.

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  • Mahmoud

    Lol come and try trump