“I’m hugely sorry for having to deal with Obama and his outrageous actions towards Russia,” Donald Trump told reporters. “I will give Alaska back to Russia if they want it. Putin knows I mean it and am super sorry See you soon, Vladimir.”
Alaska was purchased from Russia 1867 for $7.2 million. Today, Trump is offering Alaska back to Russia for a “great deal” at the cost of “awesome friendship.”
“It was awfully nice of Mr. Putin to help us out,” said Trump’s son Eric. “To show our appreciation, we’d like to offer back Alaska to the glorious country of Russia. We can make a deal to split the oil revenue and fishing rights. It’s a win-win.”
Democrats are furious but seem to lack the will to do anything about it. Sarah Palin could not be reached for comment.