Trump Picks Jack Abramoff To Head Ethics Committee


“Jack knows more about ethics than anyone I know,” said Trump. “His experience will be crucial so congress will know how to get away with things and how to deal with it if someone is stupid enough to get caught.”

Trump said he will incorporate a 15 strike tolerance program for members who get in trouble. “I like the number 15,” said Trump. “And as long as you’re doing my will and I can’t get in trouble for it, what’s the big deal? Maybe 18 or 19 strikes is reasonable in those situations.”

Trump’s philosophy about ethics has not been very reasonable. The main message is if you’re going to be unethical, you better be damn certain it doesn’t affect me.”

Abramoff, who served 3 years in prison, was ecstatic about the decision. “I know every corner to cut and only get caught a fraction of the time.”