Trump Cuts Veteran Suicide Hotline Funding

trump signs veteran bill

The political move will cut spending by 40% to $450,000 per year.  

“We don’t want the showing of our soldiers being weak, so I’m closing that hotline down at some point. Trust me, I’m doing them a favor,” said President Donald Trump. “In the long run, they will all be thanking me about how it was genius, extremely genius move on my part.”

Trump aids said he worked on this hundred thousand dollar hotline that serviced nearly 2 million veterans per month. “His top priority this week was to cut the veteran suicide thing hotline or whatever,” said an aid. “He was obsessed with it.”

When asked if the President has consulted any experts, the aid said, “Of course not. He might have seen something on TV but definitely did not seek facts or even opinions. That’s not how he rolls. He rolls in one way and one way only, hard.”

A Veteran Bites the Dust  

Veteran’s are unhappy with these strange cuts to a seemingly good program.

“I don’t even know what to say,” said a million veterans. “He’s not inherently a good person.”

  • Old_Jinx

    Hard to thank someone when you are DEAD! PTSD is as debilitating as losing a limb.
    I hope Agent Orange finds that when all his policies fail, he is removed from office, and his name is utterly worthless, that he might understand what PTSD is. But you kind of need a soul for that to happen.

    • Gingerbread2

      Satire page – – read “about us”! on this page.

  • gordo

    From the name I guess this is supposed to be funny. We just buried my son in law yesterday, after he committed suicide. He was Special Forces and served in Afghanistan, Iraq and elsewhere, He’s going to miss his 30th birthday in 13 days. His name was Robert Doolan. Fact check me. This is fact. Suicide is real. Call me………..disappointed.

    • Michelle Terrell

      I am so sorry for your loss.

    • Vicki Atchison Turner

      We are deeply and profoundly sorry about your son in law. No one should have to lose a loved one from the results of defending this country in battle. My husband served 23 years and we saw this every day while he served. Of course, Trump knows nothing about this. Well, we always say, what goes around comes around. Trump will have his comeupance.

  • gordo

    Fuck you and your fake news btw

  • Martbigee

    Soldiers who are suicidal are not weak. Many have been desperately depressed due to the things they saw and did while serving our Country. Many others have been unable to succeed in readjusting to society after returning from deployments. Your “savings” will cost American families husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, and children. Resign you self aggrandizing moron!

    • Cannawitch

      SATIRA NEWS… SATIRE… read with independent critical thinking skills… if you have any

      • Martbigee

        Nothing in this fake, rage inducing story can be easily or readily understood to be “satire”. It is not satire anyway. It’s simply an irresponsible way of creative rage in people who are concerned about the direction our Country is headed. It’s fake news…as you’ve now explained, but do you assholes really think that we need more fake news???

  • Janet Kite Collins

    Please don’t blindly believe this and pass it on like the crazies on the right, we are better than that.

  • Cannawitch

    satira … as in satire you dumb fuckers… its FAKE NEWS

  • Elizabeth Graham

    It is shameful to withdraw help from people who have given their lives for this country, or survivors who have sacrificed mental health in military service. Absolutely shameful

  • Daniel Wright

    Satire is dangerous these days. It only insites the ignorant or uninformed among us. The lack of critical thinking skills by the population is profound!

  • Mary Gass

    As much as I hate Trump, this is false.

  • tracy

    This article was a piece of fiction from The Satira Tribune, a web site with a history of publishing fake news stories that carries a brief disclaimer noting that it traffics in “satirical and futuristic news.” ………………………………………………………………………………..Furthermore, the Veteran Crisis Line web site has not made any announcements concerning a lack of funding due to decisions made by the Trump administration. The web site is still operational, and the phone line (1-800-273-8255) is still taking calls………..

  • Mike Hayward

    watching peoples heads get blown off in a combat situation is some heavy shit, show some compassion

  • Jamie Dulaney

    This is fake. You can read the actual Executive orders at White House Dot Gov under Executive Orders or click this link:

  • Marz M

    It’s a satire site. And it’s not funny satire.

  • Matthew Savoie

    Just for you idiots out there let me explain this is a satire site…it is not fake news like you see on far right websites…it is written to clearly be satirical…look at the name of the website duuuhhhh….poor idiots who voted for trump are too stupid to know what the difference between fake news and satire.