Mets Pitcher Matt Harvey “Very Upset” With Yankees Loss To Astros

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Matt Harvey at Yankees game

Wearing a disguise, New York Mets pitcher Matt Harvey sat behind third base at Yankee Stadium Tuesday night and was disappointed by the 3-0 loss to the Houston Astros.

Harvey told reporters, “I came early to the game, found my seats, went and grabbed a beer and hotdog before the first pitch, and watched the game expecting to see the Yankees win. I was very upset by their loss. It really hurt me as a die hard Yankees fan.

“It’s just not the same without Jeter.”

Win or Lose, Cubs Fans Expected To Drink Record Amount Of Beer During Wild Card Playoff Game

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After winning 97 games and the first playoff berth since 2008, the Chicago Cubs will face division rival Pittsburgh Pirates in a one game elimination game Wednesday night.

During the regular season the average Cubs fan drinks 6.4 beers per person, that number is expected to jump to 9.6 beers during the intense ‘one and done’ game in Pittsburgh’s PNC Park. Some experts say the chance to double-digit consumption level is “very, very possible.”

The top 10% of Cubs fans will drink 20 beers. The top 1% will reach 30 beers. Children under the age of 13 will only consume 4.1 beers. (Note: The stats do not count liquor shots)

Chris Christie’s Flight Delayed After Flight Crew Can’t Find Seat Belt Extender

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The GOP candidate was delayed flying out of LaGuardia International Airport while the flight crew scrambled to find a seat belt extender.

Fellow passengers just figured they were delayed because they were flying out of LaGuardia. After an hour wait, the flight eventually took off. As the engines struggled to take off with the extra weight, the plane finally made it into the air safety.

We talked to flight crew member Susie Davis who said, “We had his double seat but the seat belt still wouldn’t reach.”

Kim Davis Signs $10 Million Book Deal

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Kim DavisKentucky marriage clerk Kim Davis recently signed a $10 million book deal according to her new agent company PAC.

PAC representative Tom Brady told Variety, “This is a good get for us.” The agency is from Louisville and wants to be the opposite of Hollywood. Their website uses the slogan, ‘We are the Right Hollywood.’

Publisher Angry Whitehawk negotiated the deal the PAC for the book deal leaving room for TV and films.

Black Student Arrested For Bringing Ancestor’s “Slave Shackles” To School

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A_black_child,_Chicago._-_NARA_-_556138A Texas elementary school expelled a 7-year-old black student for what it called “unnecessary bringing up of bad American History” today.  

Principal Todd McSlavemaster told the Dallas Stars, “We don’t want our children learning the bad parts of American history. We only want them to know the great stuff so they can be unquestionably patriotic even when we do insane things.

“This way it’s like slavery and the eradication of the Indians never happened, at least according to our children.” 

Viral Video ‘First Kiss’ Being Linked to Herpes Outbreak

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first-kiss.jpgSeveral cast members of the recently viral internet video ‘First Kiss’ where strangers kiss for the first time has been have been tested positive for herpes.

“Well, we didn’t think about that,” director Tatia Pilieva told Yahoo News.