Donald Trump’s campaign website listed 7 reasons why America should make Canada the 51st State. The points break down into economical and security reasons. Below is summary of the outline:
- Oil. Canada is rich with oil. They are our largest importer of crude oil. Therefore, for economical and security reasons, Canada needs to be the 51st State.
2. Canada’s Border with the Antarctic is very long. For security reasons pertaining to Russia, we need that border. Also, there is oil there.
3. Population. Adding Canada would be equivalent to adding another California except much colder. To compete against the Chinese, we need a bigger population to consume. Millennials aren’t having as many babies, so making Canada America’s baby solves that problem. Our land mass will double overnight.
4. Maple syrup. Another natural resource that’s worth its weight in gold on the open market.
5. Beaver pellets. Global warming isn’t real, and people will need to keep warm. Why pay beaver pellets when we could buy them for cheaper? That’s common sense.
6. Hockey. We already have a majority of the NHL teams; we should have the rest.
7. Vancouver and Toronto steal too much of our film and television production. Netflix in Canada is also streaming the new Star Wars movie a year before God’s Land. Enough is enough and it’s time for a change.
As we move further into the century, it is America’s right and a necessity to expand. Mexico is lazy and full of rapists. That leaves Canada as our only option, and I’m the only politician not afraid to say it. We could accomplish the whole thing in a week, tops.
The Canadians are begging to be under American rule, a bunch of them always tell me that.
Make America and Canada Great Again!
-Donald
