The Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) has announced a special addition to its 2016 lineup. In honor of Toronto native Keanu Reeve’s 30th anniversary in the entertainment industry, TIFF will include the premier of Reeve’s new film The Neon Demon, as well as a panel discussion following the film.
“We are very excited and honored to have the opportunity to be the first to screen this amazing movie,” said TIFF Artistic Director Gordon Smith.
The Neon Demon, also starring Elle Fanning, tells the story of a young model in Los Angeles and the people surrounding her who will literally do anything to steal her youth and beauty. “Quite frankly, this seemed like a perfect opportunity to also take a look at Mr. Reeve’s uncanny ability to not appear to age since he was twenty,” continued Smith. “This seems like a panel discussion made in heaven.”
“There has been so much speculation over the years. The first theory involves secrets to generally avoid death taught to the young Keanu by George Carlin when they worked together on the Bill and Ted comedies. While Mr. Carlin was not able to avoid death and looked pretty awful for most of his adult life, he did live for a surprisingly long time for a man who never met a drug he didn’t love.”
“The second theory that has been floated is that there is a picture of Mr. Reeves hidden in the attic of his former home at the Chateau Marmot, Dorian Gray style, but that just seems silly, along with the theory that he is just Benjamin Buttoning himself. I mean really, he wasn’t even in those movies.”
An anonymous Hollywood plastic surgeon has attributed Mr. Reeve’s ageless good looks to his Eurasian genetic background, a reasonably healthy lifestyle and perhaps a few very subtle nips and tucks over the years. “Whatever he’s doing, I just hope he takes his secret to his extremely good looking grave. I still have three kids to put through college.”
