Obama Giving Half Of Federal Land Back To Native-Americans

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After speaking in the Illinois Congress Hall in Springfield, Illinois, President Obama announced an executive order giving Native Americans half of all Federal lands.

“Native-Americans has been persecuted for far too long,” Obama told a group of Blackhawks in Northern Illinois. “We have broken many agreements over the past 250 years, and the executive order is a signal that the United States government will begin to do the right thing, and give back the land you have been owed for more than a century.”

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Nearly half of all federal land will be broken up between twenty-eight different tribes from Pennsylvania to California. Much of the western United States is used for grazing by farmers. Tribes will be able to charge market price for use of the land. They will also be able to excavate for natural resources such as ore, oil, or other precious minerals. Gambling will be allowed in States where the activity is already permitted.

The 300 million acres being given back to Native Americans is worth an estimated $450 billion dollars.

The Bundys Strike Back

The Bundy family have been involved in several standoffs and shootouts over the past decade over the use of federal land. The notion President Barack Hussein Obama is giving the land to Native American tribes is too much for them to handle emotionally.

“Obama is giving our land back to the Indians!” Cliven Bundy stated before fellow supporters. “The no good negro has gone too far this time. That’s our land. We fought and won it fair and square. Now I have to pay some ‘redskin’ to graze my cattle and support my business? That’s the most un-American thing ever.”

The Bundys are still recuperating from the standoff at an Oregon wildlife refuge that left one dead and two other family members imprisoned on charges of arson.

“By golly, when we rest up, we are going to do something about this gross injustice,” said Bundy. “Those Indians will take worse care of the land than the government. You know all the Indians are drunks and drug addicts who can’t read or write good? Maybe a thousand years ago they could farm, but now most of them don’t work, or they run a casino. There is not a middle. I can’t believe I have to give my money to these drunks. If they want their money, they’ll have to come fight me with their tomahawks and feathers.”

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  • BHarp

    Sounds like obama has started the wild west again.

    • Angie Russo Schoenagle

      sounds like you believe everything you read as truth even satire pages

    • Cristian Graca

      Do you understand the meaning of the word SATIRE?
      If not…. time to pick up a dictionary

  • Kiowa Truth Talker

    Sounds like a bullshit article to me.

    • Angie Russo Schoenagle

      yeah it is a satire page so yeah

  • ApathyNihilism

    Not really funny. Some sort of reparations should indeed be made.

    • Johnny Wilson

      Casinos and poor, poor education isn’t good enough?

  • Joanne Dorlando

    What about the NativeLands that were sold to some Danish country so they could build a manufacturing plant there?

    • Cristian Graca

      Definition of satire in English:

      noun

      1) The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

      • Robin_Hud

        Forget it. Satire is dead. People don’t get it anymore; they think it’s serious.

      • Arlinda Henderson

        “or” implies satire doesn’t have to be funny. Besides, whats funny to one may not be funny to another. This concept was funny, but the writing detracted, besides being flat, It’s Western, not western, when referring to anything (like a culture) beyond a geographical location.

    • Robin_Hud

      “Danish” means “from Denmark”, “pertaining to Denmark”, etc.
      Denmark is a country situated in Europe. It’s more than a thousand years old and has the world’s oldest flag. it has a population of about 5.6 million, it’s language is Danish.

  • colleenll

    In order to be satire, it has to be funny. FAIL.

    • Johnny Wilson

      No, satire does not need to be funny.

      • MaeBeaBaby

        Yes. Yes Satire needs to be funny and this is just bunk.

        • Johnny Wilson

          Wrong, satire does not need to be funny. But it is pretty funny.

          • MaeBeaBaby

            Sarcasm can be funny and satire should be funny too.

      • Felicita Luna

        Yes, satire needs to be funny and this is funny. It’s funny because people believe it and that is what makes it so hilarious!

  • Hosteen

    I own several casinos & get drunk every day. I don’t remember how & when I got my civil engineering degree. Trump wants me to partner with him to build more casinos. Thanks to our Prez for this land gift. He must be born & raised on the rez!

  • Jena Bowman

    What goes around comes around it will eventually come back around to hit all of the money-grubbing greedy people who live in the United States where the fat keep getting fatter and the rich get richer be prepared it’s something crazy will happen to the United States what goes around.

    • addictedtoreason

      I love when angry people respond to angry people-priceless.

  • Jena Bowman

    Look what happened to the Jews they stopped having faith that Jesus Christ was their lord and savior and look how many of them people died in the Holocaust what goes around comes around full circle the same applies to the Native Americans This American land is cursed and your children and children’s children will be cursed look at the cancer in this country look at the disease look at the Obesity what goes around comes around America you get what you deserve

    • Miss Mary

      Jena Bowman - “The Jews” believe in the “Old Testament”, not the “New Testament”. They have never stopped having faith in their God. Please don’t speak of things of which you know nothing?

  • slideguy

    “Satire” Is the new name for lying?