The powerful governments of China and cash-strapped government of Mexico have entered into an agreement for what is thought to be the largest construction project in Mexican history.
Xinhua, the official news agency of China, announced today the formal signing of a contract between China State Construction Engineering, LTD and the Mexican government for an underground shopping complex which will be built within 100 yards of the US border. The project, when completed would cover 1,989 linear miles and cost almost 25 billion dollars, dwarfing the next most expensive Mexican construction project to date, the new 4 billion dollar airport in Mexico City.
DIGGING A HOLE TO CHINA
When reached for comment, Mr. Yi Jun, CEO of China State said through an interpreter, “We have actually been in negotiations for some time. We have been building Mexican infrastructure for many years on a much smaller scale, some roads and bridges, some resort hotels in Cancun, but the current political climate in America has expanded our scope beyond our wildest dreams.”
It all started with Donald Trump’s proposed wall and following with ancient Chinese proverb ‘See every obstacle as an opportunity,’ “we see Mr. Trump’s wall as a major opportunity for us. And for every foot that he adds to his wall, we get to add an additional foot to our tunnel. I mean, underground shopping mall. We have also been approached, through the Chinese company that Mr. Trump used to make his shirts and neckties to bid on the building of the wall. So win-win for everyone.”
Current Mexican President Enrique Pena has also weighed in on the project. “This will be a special embarrassment to Mr. Trump. The Mexican people will not pay for his wall, further, we will be directly sending the tunnel, I mean underground shopping mall, construction money to China, another country Mr. Trump seems to have a great deal of animosity towards.”
Former Mexican President Vincente Fox added, “Not only am I not going to pay for that fucking wall. I am going to figure out a way to make a Trump administration pay for the tunnels, too. Yes, I said tunnels. We are exploring the possibilities of having the tunnels work both ways; our preliminary research has found a large number of Americans who have expressed interest in temporarily living in another country during a Trump presidency. I go on record now saying Mexico welcomes you with open arms.”