Trump: “I Will Triple The Number Of Private Prisons”

Republican nominee Donald Trump announced a new plan to triple the number the private prisons. “They will save the taxpayers money, create jobs, and lock up more prisoners,” said Trump. “Very simple. It’s our safety at stake here. Who doesn’t want to be more safe at a lower cost and create lots of jobs?”

“They will make us all safer from the blacks and Mexicans rapists. Not all of them are felons but a lot of them are and they need to be locked away from you. It’s better to lock up one hundred free men than let one guilty man go free. Common sense people.”

“We’ll stop Chicago gun violence overnight. Prison for all of them. And as a bonus, we will lower the black birth rate,” said Trump. “Hey, I have lots of black friends. The blacks love me. The smart ones do anyways.”

Prisons are expensive to build and maintain, even private ones who rely on federal money. Trump’s plan is to have the inmates and future inmates construct and work the prisons themselves. “They will unknowingly build the walls around them. It’s a genius plan. Truly marvelous. And they will even be pretty good prisons. Not the best because they are all bad guys but pretty good for prisons.”

“We will save money and make the country safer from lunatics and my enemies,” said Trump. “There is also no reason why public law biding citizens people should be able to make a profit from these bad guys.”