Republican presidential candidate Bobby Jindal announced that he would be suspending his campaign effective immediately.
Citing low polling numbers and the amount of money necessary to mount a credible campaign in what has turned out to be a very unusual election cycle, Jindal, the current governor of Louisiana told Fox News’ Bret Baier, “This is not my time. I couldn’t break from his shadow.”
In a related story, LSU junior Billy Bobby Joe Landreau took great joy in Jindal’s announcement. “Well, now maybe he will be funny again. The last few times I saw him on TV, he was just standing up there with a bunch of old angry white guys, arguing about stuff. If I wanted to see that, I would go hang out at my grandparents’ nursing home.” Landreau added, “ I hope he does another HBO special. And maybe he will do his standup on campus again. That was a hoot. And maybe he will get another TV show. I sure miss Parks and Rec.”
When told that he had mistaken Jindal for comedian Aziz Ansari, Landreau looked slightly confused. “ Well, I guess that there isn’t much point in being the president of the LSU Young Republicans anymore.”
Aziz Ansari could not be reached for comment.