GOP presidential candidate and resident curmudgeon Dr. Rand Paul surprised the Twittersphere on December 23 with his funny tribute to Festivus, but no one was more surprised than late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel.

With a generous donation of $50 million to the group Black Lives Matter, presidential hopeful Donald Trump hopes to win some of the African-American vote. “I’m a great guy like that,” Trump told BET. “I support black lives, brown lives, yellow lives, orange lives, you name a color and I support it.”

After several more police shootings in Chicago, one brave officer has admitted his gun is addicted to black men and will do whatever necessary to get inside one.

The Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) has announced a special addition to its 2016 lineup. In honor of Toronto native Keanu Reeve’s 30th anniversary in the entertainment industry, TIFF will include the premier of Reeve’s new film The Neon Demon, as well as a panel discussion following the film.

“Tom Brady might have more Super Bowl Rings, but I refuse to have less hair,” Manning said to CBS Sports.

Kyle Holmad made a cool $175 million with the sale of Instagram to Facebook at the age of 23. He was an early engineer on the photo sharing app and attained lots of equity for his coding services. Today, just three years later at age 26, he owes nearly $10 million while living in his parents basement.

All the Republicans want for Christmas is to deny poor women healthcare of any kind. “Is that so hard?” asked Ted Cruz.

In a last ditch effort to get off Santa’s naughty list, the Islamic State (ISIS) wished the world a Merry Christmas.

As his tradition, President Obama enjoyed several rounds of golf during his Christmas vacation in Hawaii. After some marvelous play on December 23rd, Obama hit consecutive ‘holes in ones’ Christmas Eve. “Best Christmas gift ever,” said Obama. “Don’t tell Michelle that.”

In 2011, presidential hopeful Donald Trump bought a 10-foot gold plated Christmas tree. The rare white spruce was cut down in northern Ukraine, and then hand dipped in gold in Saudi Arabia.

The Christmas alternative holiday made famous by Frank Costanza on the hit TV show Seinfeld, Festivus, has been a real life celebration since 1997.

In another revelation about Republican hopeful Ben Carson’s past, the neurosurgeon told a group of donors he had been repeatedly abducted by aliens since childhood.

Pete’s Pot Shop in Denver, Colorado is giving away 4,500 marijuana joints to Syrian refugees for Christmas.

A new super marijuana strain 147TY7-G, dubbed ‘Air-Ball Kobe (ABK),’ killed 136 people in Los Angeles County over the past three days.

In a trademark infringement case, Warner Brothers has sued the World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) over the use of professional wrestler Roman Reigns wrestling maneuver the ‘Superman Punch.’

Former Governor Sarah Palin confused Steve Harvey for President Barack Obama during the Miss Universe competition. “Obama sure screwed up that Miss Universe show. Way to go.”

Democrat Candidate Bernie Sanders presidential campaign now has access back to the DNC voter database. This comes after controversy about Sander’s campaign exploiting a data breach that allowed his campaign to see Hillary Clinton’s voter data. In a leaked e-mail, it appears a Clinton staffer paid a Sander’s staffer to exploit the data breach to make Bernie look bad.

The Texas teen who was placed on 10-year probation after killing 4 people during a drunk driving wreck was found at Nevada’s Biggins Brothel. Ethan Couch, now 18, used the ‘Affluenza Defense’ claiming coming from a wealthy family didn’t teach him right from wrong. This comes after he missed a scheduled probation meeting.

In a potential public relationship nightmare for the new Star Wars film, there are reports of a ‘penis watermark’ showing in the film halfway through on the screen’s top left corner. Some people might miss it, but others said it was very apparent.

Pop singer Justin Bieber was casually riding his hoverboard while making some business phones calls when the hoverboard spontaneously caught fire, engulfing Bieber’s feet and ankles in flames.