With anti-Muslim rhetoric being the topic of the week, Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump has outlined his new plan to separate Muslims from the general world population; send them all to Mars!
“I’ll ship all the Muslims to Mars. They’ll love it and we’ll love it. Problem solved. The genius part is all the jobs the plan will create,” Trump told a boisterous crowd in Texas. “In the business world, we call that a ‘two for one.’ Now, we’ll be sending building equipment with them too so they can build their huts or whatever.”
Obvious obstacles are apparent in the shipping ‘Muslim to Mars’ plan, but Trump says he knows how to ship products. “I know how to ship product. It’s part of my portfolio. The Arabs are pretty good at it too, I’ll give them that. Abu Dhabi, what do you think they do? They ship things. They own ports all over the world and are about to have one on Mars.
“All we have to do is modify ten thousand shipping containers with rockets, fill them with the Muslims, and blast them to Mars. Simple and elegant.
“It’s a desert on that planet. The Muslims love sand and dirt so they’ll love it there. Trust me.”
Trump doesn’t see why the plan is so controversial. “What’s the big deal? They’ll have their own planet, what’s not to like? They can impose Sharia law, pray all they want, and no one will care. I haven’t ruled out their ancestors came from the red planet.
“They can even bring that big rock they like so much. If you ask me, that rock isn’t even that fantastic. I’ve seen bigger. But they can bring it with them, plenty of room on Mars.
“This plan is a win-win for everyone. They get their own terrorist planet, we create jobs, and at the end of the day, the world is at peace.
“I’ll be the greatest President ever.”
