Only two years after actress January Jones admitted to People Magazine that she ate her own placenta after giving birth, and nearly a decade after famed Scientologist Tom Cruise was rumored to have done the same, the infamous Church of Scientology may have finally opened up on the issue.

The placenta is an organ which lines the womb during pregnancy. When ejected from the womb as after birth, it’s said to contain a plethora of nourishing vitamins and minerals. Planned Parenthood representative Tiffany-Siobhan Washington notes, “An expansion of these clinics could provide vitamin and protein throughout inner-city communities.

In a narrow defeat, the Democratic Debate lost to a rerun of the reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians with a Nielsen TV Rating of 4.8 to 6.1. This is a far cry from the Republican Debate that garnered 22.2 million viewers a month ago.

A prominent network executive told Variety, “People weren’t interested in the Democrats line-up. I wasn’t surprised to see them lose to a reality show with the Kardashian clan. Baseball playoffs were on and the stunning realization that many people aged 18-34 don’t know what channel CNN is on, nor do many of them pay for cable. It will be hard for the Democrats to attract a TV audience for the cord-cutting generation.

For MLB All-Star and hitting coach for the Chicago Cubs Triple-A team Manny Rameriez says his best advice to hitters is to drink is special ‘Power Juice.’

“I used it my whole career and it worked great for me. It’s made with special ingredients from the Dominican,” Manny told CSNChicago. “It’s better than any hitting advice anyone can give. You drink it and hit home runs. Simple.”

In an attempt to generate more revenue in an innovative way, Wrigley Field in Chicago will offer a unique beer option. For $45 a fan can get beer tapped directly into their veins. For an extra $65 a fan can have a catheter installed so they never have to leave their seats during the game.

“It’s a good idea,” said one fan. “More places should have this beer option. It makes me feel like Barney from The Simpsons in that one episode.”

An accountant from St. Louis is under fire for paying $150,000 USD to shoot famous Republic of Congo elephant named Dennis. Joe Himmler, the 46-year-old and father of three, was on his yearly hunting trip to Africa when he hired a local jungle guide to show him the best hunting spots. Himmler then used a rocket launcher to shoot and instantly blow-up Dennis the elephant. Only the smoldering feet were left behind. The tusks were flown nearly 400 yards away from the explosion.

For many years, athletes in October have been wearing pink for Breast Cancer Awareness month, and this month has exciting news to announce with a pair of pink cleats saying, “We are one step closer to curing cancer.”

While football cleats can’t read or write, the pink color has miraculously given them magical powers to help solve complicated chemistry and biology problems. Harvard scientists are amazed at the pink football cleats dedication to cure one of human kind’s worst enemies, cancer of the breasts. “Unfortunately, the cleats only work in October,” said a doctor of breasts.

As President Barack Obama continues his fight for reasonable gun control policy, in the meantime, he is urging American youth to solve their problems with a ‘Fists Not Guns’ campaign. “Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned fistfight?” asked the President to the nation.

Obama told CNN, “It was an old idea we thought of when Rahm Emanuel was my Chief of Staff. As he deals with violence in Chicago as mayor, and I address gun violence across the country, it was time to act, and this was a message we can send to our youth without congress’s permission.

After the horrific news broke that American fighter jets had inadvertently bombed a Doctors Without Borders hospital in Afghanistan which left a dozen killed and dozens more injured, former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin told Fox News, “Obama should be bombing abortion doctors, not Iraq or wherever.

“We have plenty of evil to bomb at home, Mr. President.”

Amid allegations of employees betting on daily games using bulk data from customer lineups, both FanDuel and Draftkings will begin letting users bet on World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) matches.

A representative for DraftKings told ESPN, “They have been letting people bet on boxing for decades.”

Wearing a disguise, New York Mets pitcher Matt Harvey sat behind third base at Yankee Stadium Tuesday night and was disappointed by the 3-0 loss to the Houston Astros.

Harvey told reporters, “I came early to the game, found my seats, went and grabbed a beer and hotdog before the first pitch, and watched the game expecting to see the Yankees win. I was very upset by their loss. It really hurt me as a die hard Yankees fan.

“It’s just not the same without Jeter.”

After winning 97 games and the first playoff berth since 2008, the Chicago Cubs will face division rival Pittsburgh Pirates in a one game elimination game Wednesday night.

During the regular season the average Cubs fan drinks 6.4 beers per person, that number is expected to jump to 9.6 beers during the intense ‘one and done’ game in Pittsburgh’s PNC Park. Some experts say the chance to double-digit consumption level is “very, very possible.”

The top 10% of Cubs fans will drink 20 beers. The top 1% will reach 30 beers. Children under the age of 13 will only consume 4.1 beers. (Note: The stats do not count liquor shots)

The GOP candidate was delayed flying out of LaGuardia International Airport while the flight crew scrambled to find a seat belt extender.

Fellow passengers just figured they were delayed because they were flying out of LaGuardia. After an hour wait, the flight eventually took off. As the engines struggled to take off with the extra weight, the plane finally made it into the air safety.

We talked to flight crew member Susie Davis who said, “We had his double seat but the seat belt still wouldn’t reach.”

Kentucky marriage clerk Kim Davis recently signed a $10 million book deal according to her new agent company PAC.

PAC representative Tom Brady told Variety, “This is a good get for us.” The agency is from Louisville and wants to be the opposite of Hollywood. Their website uses the slogan, ‘We are the Right Hollywood.’

Publisher Angry Whitehawk negotiated the deal the PAC for the book deal leaving room for TV and films.

Several cast members of the recently viral internet video ‘First Kiss’ where strangers kiss for the first time has been have been tested positive for herpes.

“Well, we didn’t think about that,” director Tatia Pilieva told Yahoo News.