Scientists are concerned over the thickness of Millennials skin. It seems to be at record thin levels, paper thin. People over 27 years old average 3 millimeters thick skin, those under the age of 27 are only averaging 1.5 millimeters thickness of the skin.
Scientist William Niles told the New England Journal of Medicine, “It explains why so many of them are a bunch of bitches.”
There are other concerns over their skin thinness. “We have reason to believe their skin cells are not replacing old ones in their place, so the kids are afraid to damage the ones they do have. I’d be sensitive too if my skin cells weren’t regenerating.
“It’s already so thin, they can’t risk it being irritated by anything witty, interesting or somewhat controversial.”
Scientists are working on a cure for this thin skin epidemic among America’s youth, but the research doesn’t look promising. The final option is them having to “just deal with it,” but it will be painful and unlikely to happen.
“If the ‘thin skin’ epidemic is not cured we run the risk of any funny movies or TV shows ever being made again, and probably the Russians taking over.”