Whistleblower: “Trump Paying Off Pollsters To Show Him Leading”

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An anonymous whistleblower within the Trump campaign said the presidential candidate has been paying off the pollsters to show him leading in all the presidential election polls. The whistleblower told The New York Times, “He has already spent over $55 million in bribes for the lead among Republican candidates.

Teen Accidently Sent To ISIS Boot Camp By Parents

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(Camp Photo: Tommy, Middle Row, 5th right)
(ISIS Camp Photo: Tommy, Middle Row, 5th right)

The Parents of Tommy Robinson thought they were sending their troubled 14-year-old boy to a behavior modifying boot camp in Idaho. Instead, they accidently sent him to a Syrian ISIS boot camp for western children to be trained as soldiers.

Trump: “I Love The Hitler References, It’s A Compliment”

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With much of America comparing Donald Trump’s rhetoric to Nazi leader Adolf Hitler, Trump relishes in the comparison. “I love the Hitler references; it’s a compliment. He was a great leader regardless of what he may or may not have done.

Rahm Emanuel: “Robbie Gould Should Be Cut For Missing That Field Goal”

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After Chicago Bears kicker Robbie Gould missed a game-tying field goal against the Washington Redskins at home, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel said the team should cut Gould.

Jimmy Carter: “Medical Marijuana Cured My Cancer”

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While speaking to ABC News about the remission of his cancer, former President Jimmy Carter credited marijuana for killing of his cancer cells.

Trump’s ‘Wheel of Diss’ Decides Who To Offend Next

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Sources revealed today the strategy used by Donald Trump to determine who he will insult on any given day: a customized Wheel of Fortune. Recently dismissed Trump staffer, Derrick Grey confirmed the story.

Jimmy Carter Thanks Medical Marijuana For Curing His Cancer

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In a surprising announcement today, former democratic President Jimmy Carter said he was cancer free. He thanked doctors and family for their support and then said medical marijuana had cured his cancer in only 5 months.

Rock, Paper Scissors, Contest Finishes College Football Rankings

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The college football playoffs have been determined. The top 6 spots are always controversial so to make things easier, a Rock, Paper, Scissors, contest, was held to determine the Championship game.

ISIS Agrees To Surrender If ‘Seinfeld: The Apartment’ Installation Tours The Middle East

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After a hugely successful exhibit in New York and the installation to be in Los Angeles starting December 17th, the Islamic State (ISIS) has agreed to surrender if the TV icon apartment tours the Middle East.

Scientists: Millennials Skin Physically Paper Thin

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Scientists are concerned over the thickness of Millennials skin. It seems to be at record thin levels, paper thin. People over 27 years old average 3 millimeters thick skin, those under the age of 27 are only averaging 1.5 millimeters thickness of the skin.

Ben Carson Says He Was An FBI Spy Within The Black Panthers

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Presidential candidate, Ben Carson told PBS’s Charlie Rose he worked for the FBI as an informant within the Black Panthers from 1977-79. However, the FBI denies this claim, and there is no record of Carson being a member of the Black Panthers or ever having contact with the FBI.

Trump: “Muslims Should Be Chained To Their Desk At Work”

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While no one is surprised by the rhetoric that comes out of Presidential Candidate Donald Trump’s mouth, he told The New York Times today in light of the San Bernardino shootings, “Muslims should be chained to their desks at work.”

Holly Holm Tests Positive For Methyl-p-hydroxybenzoate

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UFC Woman’s Champion Holly Holm has tested positive for methyl-p-hydroxybenzoate in a recent drug test.

Dick Cheney Sculpture Charged With War Crimes Against Art

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Yesterday in Washington D.C, the ‘bust’ of former Vice President Dick Cheney was unveiled at the Capitol Building among dozens of his colleagues in attendance from his many years in politics including President George W. Bush.

France Issues Travel Ban To United States After String Of Mass Shootings

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In the wake of America’s most recent mass shooting in Southern California, France has issued a travel ban to the United States out of fear of violence.

NRA Calls For Looser Gun Laws After San Bernardino Mass Killing

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With 14 killed and over 17 wounded at a San Bernardino Social Workers office, the National Rifle Association (NRA) calls for looser gun restrictions. “The only way to stop gun violence is with more gun… violence,” said NRA member Clint Eastwood.

Donald Trump Now Demanding $20 Million For CNN Debate

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After initially asking for $5 million to take part in the CNN Republican debate on December 15th, the business mogul is now demanding $20 million plus $1 million for every day that passes without the deal in place. Failure to pay Trump now would mean a total payment of $35 million by debate day.

Kobe Bryant Demands Trade To Warriors To Win 6th Championship Ring

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With the Los Angeles Lakers season basically over before the All-Star break, point guard Kobe Bryant is demanding ownership trade him to the undefeated 19-0 Golden State Warriors.

Planned Parenthood Shooter Gains 7 Points Among Republican Voters

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The tragedy over the weekend when religious nut Robert Dear shot up a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs leaving three dead and 9 wounded boosted his name among Republican Presidential candidates by 7 points.

Chicago Mayor Admits To Giving Order To Kill 17 Year Old Laquan McDonald

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Laquan McDonald was shot 16 times by Chicago Police Officer Jason Van Dyke in 2012 after the kid walked away from police while brandishing a 3-inch knife. Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel admits to giving the direct order for the execution.